lollipop29 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Hi, I would love your advice...especially if you've been in a similar situation. I am 23 years old and have been with my boyfriend since I was 16. We have a lot in common as far as morals, values, families, etc. However, we do not necessarily have common "interests" and not many mutual friends, but then again... my interests are very girly and his are very masculine. We fit well together and I know he is very trustworthy, loyal, and would be an amazing father and husband for the rest of my life. I love him very much and can't bear the thought of hurting him and our families by breaking up with him... BUT! I have had an emotional affair for a few months with a guy who is complete opposite of my boyfriend. He is adventurous, exciting, passionate, motivated, and has a really fun group of friends that I love hanging out with. I have had crushes on other men while in my relationship, but I believe I am in love with this person. We could talk forever and never run out of things to discuss. We do not have all the same opinions, but we challenge each other. He makes me want to live my life more and try new things. He excites me so much, and I know every day would be an adventure. He wants me to leave my boyfriend and be with him. We have tried to cut things off a couple of times when I said I couldn't leave my boyfriend, but we always end up back in contact and at square 1. (We talk on the phone, text, email, facebook, in person alone and also with friends. We are very physically attracted to each other also) One problem is: I don't think he has a stable view of love. Although he is years older than me, he romanticizes a lot of things. He thinks that you should be "in love" with your partner, rather than just loving your partner. He thinks I am "the one" but what if one day he realizes I am not as perfect as he thinks? Will he leave me because I am not "the one"? Will his adventurous spirit not be a good thing for a husband? He travels a lot for fun and if I can't go, he would still go I'm sure. My bf would do anything for me and is used to making compromises; I'm not sure if this guy is used to that. Also, does the fact that he tried to "steal" me from my bf mean that he is not a moral person??? Could I really trust him? Anyway, I'm at a cross roads. Either I am going to move in w/ and soon be engaged to my current bf (who will be a great father and dad) or I will break it off and be with this person I can't stay away from, who I want very badly both emotionally and physically, but who may or may not be a good life partner. I believe that I will regret breaking up with my boyfriend, as I am on a steadfast path to a stable and happy life. But, I feel utterly compelled to be with this other man. He invades my thoughts, and i want so so so sooo badly to give it a try. I wish I could "go on a break" with my boyfriend so I could give this other guy a try and get it out of my system. I know that's wrong, though (to both guys)... Please help.
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