Tbillson Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Ok I realize there are many people who don't believe GIGS exists, but for the sake of argument bare with me. From threads created in the past such as Homebrew's or Smokey's people claim that there is a very high chance the dumper will come back after GIGS. However, I rarely see people posting saying that their ex returned to them. So my question is how can people claim GIGS exes usually come back (regardless of if the dumpee accepts them), if there aren't that many GIGS 2nd chance stories?
DrStrangelove Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Ok I realize there are many people who don't believe GIGS exists, but for the sake of argument bare with me. From threads created in the past such as Homebrew's or Smokey's people claim that there is a very high chance the dumper will come back after GIGS. However, I rarely see people posting saying that their ex returned to them. So my question is how can people claim GIGS exes usually come back (regardless of if the dumpee accepts them), if there aren't that many GIGS 2nd chance stories? There's a forum for 2nd chances that have stories. Here's a good one I bookmarked: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/323356-they-can-happen
almosteverythingx Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I had GIGS... however I stuck with my partner... despite feeling like I no longer loved him... and actually saw someone else behind his back for two month. I know what I did was really awful and don't worry I have suffered the guilt as a result! So what happened? well as usual i realised the guy I was seeing behind his back wasn't all he was cracked up to (the grass wasn't greener) and realised how amazing my boyfriend was and realised I did actually love him... fell madly back in love. Weird. 1
Author Tbillson Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 My worry is that my ex's GIGS is slightly different than the usual description. The breakup was out of the blue; she was saying she loved me even that day and hadn't shown any signs of withdrawing from the relationship over the past few weeks. I only know she had been contemplating it for a week or so because she told me during the BU, but she was still very affectionate towards me during these times. The day after we broke up she confessed that she had feelings for another guy she had gotten really close to (they both are very spiritual and want to go into ministry). Thats where the typical GIGS ends because she hasn't done anything with him and wants to be single right now. She is focusing on other aspects of her life but she is clearly very flattered and attracted to this guy. Maybe this isn't GIGS I don't know but she's 19 and we had a 2.5 year relationship with hardly any fights, and certainly no major ones. In the weeks following the break up I heard so many different things from this will be good for us and to stay hopeful, to I love you but I'm not in love to, she just wants to be single right now to she doesn't want me to hold out for the future but still sees us being best friends. After that I went almost NC with the exception of her wishing me a Merry Christmas and me responding, and then early in January I texted her on the anniversary of her grandfather's death just to say I was thinking of her and she replied very positively and said we need to catch up sometime. I know this is very unlikely to be her thinking of reconciliation at all but I do think the contact shows she still cares on some level and I don't believe that her feelings for me are gone. (I know from a friend that she still has a picture of us on her wall and that, while she is happy she does think about me). The other concern is that even if she has GIGS, she is a very positive and outgoing person who surrounds herself with a lot of people. I fear that even if she misses the relationship she will just keep chugging with her life telling herself that this is God's plan for her. What do you guys think? I appreciate it sorry for the longish post!
arrowfoot Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 My worry is that my ex's GIGS is slightly different than the usual description. The breakup was out of the blue; she was saying she loved me even that day and hadn't shown any signs of withdrawing from the relationship over the past few weeks. I only know she had been contemplating it for a week or so because she told me during the BU, but she was still very affectionate towards me during these times. The day after we broke up she confessed that she had feelings for another guy she had gotten really close to (they both are very spiritual and want to go into ministry). Thats where the typical GIGS ends because she hasn't done anything with him and wants to be single right now. She is focusing on other aspects of her life but she is clearly very flattered and attracted to this guy. Maybe this isn't GIGS I don't know but she's 19 and we had a 2.5 year relationship with hardly any fights, and certainly no major ones. In the weeks following the break up I heard so many different things from this will be good for us and to stay hopeful, to I love you but I'm not in love to, she just wants to be single right now to she doesn't want me to hold out for the future but still sees us being best friends. After that I went almost NC with the exception of her wishing me a Merry Christmas and me responding, and then early in January I texted her on the anniversary of her grandfather's death just to say I was thinking of her and she replied very positively and said we need to catch up sometime. I know this is very unlikely to be her thinking of reconciliation at all but I do think the contact shows she still cares on some level and I don't believe that her feelings for me are gone. (I know from a friend that she still has a picture of us on her wall and that, while she is happy she does think about me). The other concern is that even if she has GIGS, she is a very positive and outgoing person who surrounds herself with a lot of people. I fear that even if she misses the relationship she will just keep chugging with her life telling herself that this is God's plan for her. What do you guys think? I appreciate it sorry for the longish post! She does care about you, of course she does. In the last paragraph you mention how you fear she'll "keep chugging on with her life" because she's so positive and outgoing. Now, I'm sure she's a great girl and all but, can we take her off the pedestal? Yeah, she's moving on and living life happily, maybe, but that's only because she did the breaking up. She wanted it and you didn't. You're afraid that she'll forget about you, but you're forgetting that in a way, she already has. Now you must chug on with your life and surround yourself with the people who care about you. Good luck
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