breezy Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 Is it wrong to be seeing two men at a time? I really like both of them. And am I suppose to tell them straight up about this or just if they ask me about it? There has been no comittment or any talk of comittment with either of them, I just feel kind of weird about doing it. I usually jump right into the relationship and was honestly NOT looking for anyone.
Barby Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 So be honest so that you don't have to feel "guilty" deceiving either of them. If you don't see anything wrong with dating two people, maybe they won't see anything wrong with it either. Just do what you would want them to do to you if you were in their positions!
EC Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 You have to say something. It's not fair... At least if you say it straight up you won't feel guilty and if you do decide to take one of them seriously you won't already have drama and trust issues.
amerikajin Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 I've been struggling with this very thing myself lately. I've been dating one girl for about a month and we've been getting intimate over the last two weeks. Yet, I felt compelled to ask this other girl to lunch yesterday just to see what would happen (she actually came on to me - a copout, I know - so I suggested lunch). I'm a big believer in keeping your options open - to a point. That is to say, it's okay to date around a little bit until you find what you're looking for. But, at the end of the day, you at least have to let the people you're dating what the score is. You at least have to let them know that you're not in a committed relationship with them. That way they'll know that they can look around themselves. It's not fair when two people are playing by a different set of rules in the relationship. It's not fair when two people have different levels of expectations after a few dates. Sooner or later, people have to know where they stand. When that time comes is something that's not always easy to figure out. Certainly if your partner asks, you should tell him the truth. But even if you suspect he's tugging you in a direction, be clear about the direction you're heading in. Me? Well, I'll say that this girl I had lunch with yesterday is a real hottie....but I've decided to stay put for now. I've already invested some time into this girl I've been seeing for about six weeks now, and I've reached some clarity about a lot of things. I've been jumping around too much lately. Maybe what I need is stability. Ask yourself what you want, and decide which one of the two gives you what you're seeking.
Pocky Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 If two people are just dating then they are not responsible to tell the other person that they're dating someone else. Dating is very casual, generally encompasses minimum emotion and is often used just as a social outlet and not necessarily consistent with long-term relationships. If you're not dating then at some point you should have discussed the current expectations of the relationship and you'd already know if you should be seeing another man at the same or not.
tola Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 just go with the flow. But i do some how suspect that one if not two of them are attached and you know it. u know what they say u can't love two people the same one is usually stronger than the other. Deep down you know which one you want . What you are doing now is having your cake and eating it at the same time . And i fully commend you for it if i was in your shoes i would do the same.
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