Leigh 87 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Men are less picky when it comes to one night stands. Anything else I think they are even more picky than women, partly because they often don't care about relationships to begin with. Some guys are fussy, and although they do wait for the right girl, it is not all down to her looks that make him eventually pick a girl for a relationship. And it is not because they suddnenly feel the need to have to settle down, or because they "want some company" or regular sex..... My boyfriend did not entertain the idea of relationships before me, or before a mere ONE other girl he met before me, despit having options. He was fussy - in that he was not desperate for a R, and would only let it happen with a girl he really liked. He could have just used me as a one nigh stand or FWB if he was only concerned with my looks, but instead he wanted to keep seeing me. I am not a girl he thought wow she was so hot and smart and the ideal girl for me. I was f8cked up, has a lot of issues, and was just plain weird, socially speaking. He would have been better off just hooking up with me, since I had a great body but average to cute face. He was taken aback by how strange I was, he was..stunned about the way I once was. See - if a guy has strong enough emotions for you, he will still want to be with you because you make him happy, being in his life. Even if your not hot or ideal personality wise. As long as you are kind and have things about you he likes, there is NO need to be perfect. 1
MrCastle Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I apologize in advance for not reading all 9 pages, so forgive me if I bring up points already discussed. I think when it comes to demands/preferences/standards, men are not as physically focused as people would have you believe, and I believe women aren't as accepting as people would have you believe. I think both sexes, when it comes to the physical, are closer than one would think. There is no doubt women respond better to taller, more masculine looking men, and men respond better to curvier, more feminine looking women. That's just our makeup. Me personally, I would say my standards are high, certainly, but because I've adjusted my life accordingly to logically, get what I'm looking for. I've said this before, I don't demand anything I don't demand in myself. I want a girl who's fit? I myself have been more dedicated to sculpting a better body. I'm skinny, but still not as healthy as I can be or should be at my age, more specifically, when it comes to stamina and other cardio related things. I could also stand to have more muscle, although that's not on my immediate list of things to do. I prefer someone educated, or if not educated, at least naturally smart. I am in college and I'd consider myself a pretty smart guy, so I see no problem in looking for someone the same in that regard. I'm a creative type, and prefer someone creative. I'm drug/party free and I expect my mate to be drug/party free. I'm highly sexual, I expect her to be highly sexual.I'm liberal/open minded, I expect her to be as well. And so on and so on. Is it wrong to want a fit, smart, creative, highly sexual, drug free, liberal woman? I don't think so, because I am all those things in male form. I know that if I exist, a woman my equal must also exist. 2
todreaminblue Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Correct me if I'm wrong, but the the only domains your list touches are superficial IMHO: physical, financial, mental. Do you or these men you date have any spiritual dimensions? Here are the standards I would like a woman to strive for and the standards I strive for as a man: Characteristics of a high quality woman: A wife of **noble** character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Characteristics of a high quality man: Here is a trustworthy saying: Whoever aspires to be an overseer desires a **noble** task. Now the overseer is to be above reproach, faithful to his wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him, and he must do so in a manner worthy of full respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?) He must not be a recent convert, or he may become conceited and fall under the same judgment as the devil. He must also have a good reputation with outsiders, so that he will not fall into disgrace and into the devil’s trap. Put this combo together and you have love personified I know b/c I see it on a regular basis with my mom and dad. Keep searching, but I would request that you seek God and not man's ideals of relationships. Question for you final word..... Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: i agree with everything you have posted...they are a pure and true love the qualities posted in the bible......this quote above i have repeated is what i have a question about..... so if a woman's sons or daughters don't respect her and treat her poorly or a partner didnt praise her in fact put her down...does that nobility fall away because she does not have that respect so she is one who is not to be sought after or valued or desired, due to the devaluation that she was given.is there a verse about that , that you know of? Please dont take my response as argumentative....pm me the verse if you can..i would appreciate it........deb
truth_seeker Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 My standards are simple: find the right woman for me.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Just for the record: I get just as cranky with the "bad men" threads and posts as I do with the "bad wimmins" ones. Aren't we ALL tired of this crap by now? If we actually want to have the opposite sex in our lives, shouldn't we know how to see them as INDIVIDUALS? Aaargh. Also - I can't understand how people keep using the word "picky" when talking about who they'll fall in love with. I mean … do you all really sit there and pick, pick, pick a person apart to see if they are good enough for you? I don't even know one person, male or female, who is what you refer to as "too picky." People like what they like. If they like another person, including feeling attracted to them physically, they'll want to see if somethings happening there. If they feel like picking them apart, then I think they should just move along. 2
ImNotOliver Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Obviously, alot of men cannot afford to have high standards so their partner choices dont always reflect it. Not every guy can be so picky since most men enter into relationships mostly for a steady stream of sex (I am sure there are other reasons too, but this is the most important one I find) I’m a man and I mostly agree with what pbjbear has been saying with the first paragraph of OP bringing to mind a phenomenon that I’ve noticed for a long time. Many times over I have been with a group of men and the discussion of women would be such that you’d get the impression that they only date hot chicks - kind of like fish stories, but with women. Often they would be publicly dismissive of a rather average woman. Yet most of these men have wives and girlfriends who are less desirable, in looks and personality, than the previously mentioned average woman. I’ve heard it said that something in the neighborhood of 70% of people have very limited dating options. To me this implies that many people do settle. That many people latch onto whoever comes along just to avoid being alone. A friend of mine has recently been dating a woman who is a vegetarian and overly so. My friend who is known for the wonderful meat based meals that he serves to his friends has become a vegetarian. He is clearly settling and has already sown the seeds that will ultimately lead to their breakup.
KungFuJoe Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I’m a man and I mostly agree with what pbjbear has been saying with the first paragraph of OP bringing to mind a phenomenon that I’ve noticed for a long time. Many times over I have been with a group of men and the discussion of women would be such that you’d get the impression that they only date hot chicks - kind of like fish stories, but with women. Often they would be publicly dismissive of a rather average woman. Yet most of these men have wives and girlfriends who are less desirable, in looks and personality, than the previously mentioned average woman. I’ve heard it said that something in the neighborhood of 70% of people have very limited dating options. To me this implies that many people do settle. That many people latch onto whoever comes along just to avoid being alone. A friend of mine has recently been dating a woman who is a vegetarian and overly so. My friend who is known for the wonderful meat based meals that he serves to his friends has become a vegetarian. He is clearly settling and has already sown the seeds that will ultimately lead to their breakup. Your friends are obviously liars and the vegetarian is a fool. 1
TheFinalWord Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Question for you final word..... Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: i agree with everything you have posted...they are a pure and true love the qualities posted in the bible......this quote above i have repeated is what i have a question about..... so if a woman's sons or daughters don't respect her and treat her poorly or a partner didnt praise her in fact put her down...does that nobility fall away because she does not have that respect so she is one who is not to be sought after or valued or desired, due to the devaluation that she was given.is there a verse about that , that you know of? Please dont take my response as argumentative....pm me the verse if you can..i would appreciate it........deb Hi Deb, These are words given by the mother of King Lemuel in Proverbs 31. No, these are standards to strive for someone that is currently a wife, or seeking to become one Proverbs closes with an acrostic poem describing an “excellent wife.” The woman is married and seeks the best for her husband (vv. 11–12). Industrious and hard-working, she takes care of her household (vv. 15; 31:21–22; 31:27) and finds success in a variety of fields (vv. 13–14; 31:16–19). She is generous to the poor (v. 20) and teaches wisdom (v. 26). Her children and husband praise her because her excellence surpasses other women (vv. 28–29). Lastly, she fears Yahweh (v. 30) and should be publically recognized and praised (v. 31). No ma'am, if a ex-husband treated you like trash or abuses you, your nobility does not fall away: his does b/c the wife reflects the glory of the husband. He should have treated you as more valuable than "precious jewels" (vv.10). "Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning." Lots of variations to go with this, but husbands and children all have a part to play. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— or we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. These standards of a noble wife can only manifest when all family members are working and seeking the Lord. So all are responsible. If only you were trying and husband was not, these cannot fully be cultivated. These standards arise from team effort, not alone. If only one or the other is (wife putting in effort, but husband was not and is abusing her), then neither of these standards will manifest, especially in the child rearing (look in Proverbs 31 and in 1 Timothy 3 and you can see how it will take both to run a household and children). Husbands are to love their wives as much as their own bodies (including health and sexual needs). Wife reflects the glory of the husband. If husband hates himself, or treats his wife like dirt than that is a reflection of him. These standards can only be met when both are working together When you are looking at these standards to strive for, they appear to be like silos (this one is for men, this one for women), but really these standards only manifest when both are striving together. Husband and wife refine one another. Which is one reason I was saying to OP, for me if a partner is not causing me to grow spiritually, if we are not tempering one another, she can be physically beautiful, have money, be successful from a worldly perspective, but not meant as a wife (I've had that happen more than once). Lots of possible ways to go with this and you can PM me anytime. I don't want to embarrass you and have to give intimate things about your life Probably more than you asked for anyway Main thing, is that we are righteous in Christ and He makes all things new. Joel Osteen - Stop Listening to the Accusing Voices - YouTube Hugs, TFW
Failboy Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) Women only think that way because they totally overlook most guys... Of course, if you only pay attention to top-tier alpha guys, you will get the impression that men are picky, cheat, only want sex and so on. If women would give guys like me a chance, they'd have entirely different stories to tell. But they won't, so that's that. In my experience, tons of rather unattractive women are picky and only want tall, financially stable good-looking guys. And they GET THEM! Not for the long term, though. So they start complaining how men are sex-driven, superficial monsters cause they left them for a woman hotter than them. But guess what? Those guys were hotter than you from the get-go. It was amazing you could bone them in the first place. 6ish women can easily get 9ish alpha guys, so they will. If they went for 4s and 5s like 6ish men have to, they'd have very different experiences. Women tend to think they are really hot because they can bang hot guys, that's why many of them start to feel entitled to hot alpha guys while they themselves are actually average at best. Edited January 24, 2013 by Failboy 1
Failboy Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Alphas will bang women lower on the scale of attractiveness but he will almost never settle long-term with anything lower than a 6.5. They don't have to. It's funny because average women don't want average guys. Every girl pretty much has the tendency to look "up" when dating. But for the average alpha' date=' these girls are just snacks to tide him over for the big meal. For a beta male, even average girls who bring nothing to the table are put on a pedestal because a beta male has a scarcity mentality by default.[/quote'] Yup.. the problem is, most women don't realize this. They bang a 9ish alpha guy and get hit on by 8s on a daily so they think they are well above average themselves when they are not. So whenever I, as a beta guy, approach a woman on my level of attractiveness she thinks I'm retarded for even trying because she can bang a 9ish alpha guy and knows it. Then said 9ish alpha guy treats her badly and screws another women and she will start to feel like "all men are dogs". 2
ImNotOliver Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I don’t know if I qualify as an Alpha male or not although throughout my life I’ve had women attracted to me. At times more than I could reasonably date. I would never “bang” a 6.5. I might flirt with her, I might give her a hug that will leave her squealing with delight, but that’s all the more it will ever go. You see I’m after the queen and you don’t get the queen by banging her maids.
ScreamingTrees Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 online dating example...online dating is not typical of the real world. You would get many of the women who ignore you online in real life... Yeah, but not before they're burnt out from banging the hotties, amirite or amirite?
Woggle Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 The woman who says "all men are dogs" are the ones that ONLY go after alphas. To them, alphas are the only males on the radar or with a pair of balls. Of course she would think that "all men are dogs" when her only experience is with alpha males. Alphas have the most to gain from treating dating like a carnivorous meat market because they're the ones who have the most success. For everyone else and betas, dating is a series of diminishing returns. You keep meeting the same types of women, you keep hearing the same stories over and over, you keep seeing the same patterns. It all gets old, tiresome, and mind numbingly stupid. It just isn't worth casting your rod out there if all you keep pulling in is jaded women with high partner counts who don't consider you worth jack **** in relation to the alphas they previously had. A beta male is in a precarious position when he is in a long-term relationship with a woman with a high partner count. The woman will always (subconsciously or not) compare him to her past alpha lovers. In her past, she had someone that stirred her emotions more than him, ****ed better than him, looked better than him, had a longer, thicker, whatever - dick than him. The beta male simply can't hold a woman like that's interest for very long beyond the role of provider. The husband becomes an emasculated herb that is basically a showpiece to display that she's actually worth something because she got married. To many women, if they don't get married they feel as if something is wrong with them. That's why so many marriages end up sexless because the woman's mind is elsewhere, fantasizing about being sexed up by an alpha male. You should date the OP. It would be a good match.
Curious-One Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Different guys want different things. For example the girl you mentioned actually turn me off. I want a very very ambisious hard working girl who has big goals and is actively working on achieving them. I hate girls who wear too much makeup and act like spoiled brats like kim k. I like girls who care about their health and go to the gym.
Els Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Sure insult me, but this is an internet forum. You really think I go around saying this to men I date? I dont voice my opinions I give every guy I meet the benefit of the doubt thinking he could be the exception...guess what? Ive met one out of prob over 30 men I have gone out with (meaning at least 3 dates or more) that wasnt like this...and I run away from players, womanizers, super alpha types So what happened to the 1 out of 30? Like people have whacked SD81 over the head with multiple times, you can 'think' you don't give out any bitter vibes IRL but you're most likely wrong. You don't know exactly how you come across to people. I'm willing to bet quite a lot that you're literally oozing misandry out of your pores IRL. 1
MyPoutine Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Both sides have issues. I was looking at Skyrim mods and lo and behold as always a tone of female amour mods that look like costumes for a brothel and body sliders that are made majorly for women but focus on increasing boobs and butts. As a gamer this is very normal to see, whenever female mods are released they are usually sexual in nature - even female focused custom races are things such as Temptresses and vixens. On the flip side women have the age old "tall, dark and handsome" supermodel fetish that is seen in most female-geared products. It's sad but that's what I see and have experienced and with things like Facebook and Tumbler people want to cultivate a perfect image, photoshopping to create almost doll-like versions of themselves. Women like these getting popular for no real reason except their looks. I think those who are angry at the other side are people who struck-out with the 9's and 10's and are "down grading" only to find that, just like they were, the opposite gendered lower numbers are also aiming higher. If you look past the superficial and focus on connecting with someone on matters that actually count you will find it much easier to find someone who isn't "too picky to pick you"
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Women like these getting popular for no real reason except their looks. :sick: Sorry, but I don't know how anyone could consider that attractive. Honestly. 4
TheGuard13 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 The whole “Alpha” thing…there are very few true Alphas outthere. Many of them don’t even want to be what they are, and are seriouslyinsecure, hurting, and very flawed individuals (aren’t we all?). I’m personally getting tired of people experiencing thefollowing: 1. They’re not compatible with everyone they like or want,and suddenly all men or women are awful. 2. Someone lets a person down, in some way, and suddenly,rather than recognizing that people make mistakes and that everyone willpotentially fail you now and then, and instead of wanting to work to make arelationship function, that person is suddenly just dead to them. It just seemsthat people have very thin skin. No one wants to work for anything, everyonewants the easy way. Inevitably, whenever a guy or a girl tells me about somethinghorrible that their SO did, half the time its something utterly ridiculous that anyonein a solid relationship would just deal with and move on. First world problems. I do think one way the media/literature/film/what have you has shaped expectationsis the idea that everyone deserves the best of the best. There seems to be thisidea that everyone thinks they deserve a “Prince Charming” or a “Princess”, ora leading man or woman or some semblance of that, and anything else is deemed adisappointment by many. I find that very sad. 2
MyPoutine Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 :sick: Sorry, but I don't know how anyone could consider that attractive. Honestly. She is very popular for no other reason than than fact that she resembles "barbie" There are others who look like anime characters, dolls and the list goes on. Of course some people may not find her attractive but it seems the majority do *shrug* again, image issues on both sides.
Dusk1983 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Yup.. the problem is, most women don't realize this. They bang a 9ish alpha guy and get hit on by 8s on a daily so they think they are well above average themselves when they are not. So whenever I, as a beta guy, approach a woman on my level of attractiveness she thinks I'm retarded for even trying because she can bang a 9ish alpha guy and knows it. Then said 9ish alpha guy treats her badly and screws another women and she will start to feel like "all men are dogs". Yep. Exactly what I said with the very first reply on the thread. The distorting power of the indiscriminate male sex drive. See, we are always to blame. Notice nobody's challenged your posts, btw. On LS that means "you're right and we can't argue with it".
Charlie Harper Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Hanging out with a 10 or even an 11 is not all that is cracked up to be, specially if you are an 8 ... they get hit all the time, even in front of you and apprroached by douches 24/7, sometimes by a guy who is a 9 or 10, you need to be a very secure and mature guy to carry this kind of ****ty situations. I used to make jokes of those hitters, and when they were quite strong on their flirting and could not take a hint, I told them, hey! macho, do you have a 10 inch dick, and my GF and I would burst with laughter at their reaction... But yes a lot of Women and Men always expect to get the Ken or Barbie Doll there is no problem trying to get a really attractive lover, the problem is that if looks are everything you may end up with a drama queen, a dolt or worse...
KungFuJoe Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Hanging out with a 10 or even an 11 is not all that is cracked up to be, specially if you are an 8 ... they get hit all the time, even in front of you and apprroached by douches 24/7, sometimes by a guy who is a 9 or 10, you need to be a very secure and mature guy to carry this kind of ****ty situations. I used to make jokes of those hitters, and when they were quite strong on their flirting and could not take a hint, I told them, hey! macho, do you have a 10 inch dick, and my GF and I would burst with laughter at their reaction... But yes a lot of Women and Men always expect to get the Ken or Barbie Doll there is no problem trying to get a really attractive lover, the problem is that if looks are everything you may end up with a drama queen, a dolt or worse... Call me skeptical, but I find it VERY hard to believe that this scenario actually happened. You sure this isn't hyperbole? 1
MrCastle Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 2. Someone lets a person down, in some way, and suddenly,rather than recognizing that people make mistakes and that everyone will potentially fail you now and then, and instead of wanting to work to make a relationship function, that person is suddenly just dead to them. It just seems that people have very thin skin. Depends on what they did. There are things for me personally that are just unforgivable. Things that totally change the dynamic of the relationship. For me there are things that happen and I can't move past them. Once I lose attraction I can never get it back again, so I think it's in my best interest and hers to end things as opposed to keeping up some sort of charade.
MrCastle Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Oh and by the way, the girl who looks like a doll -- yeah, no thanks. I don't see any man I know wanting to tap that. I think women let themselves get warped by these crazy body expectations and it does more harm than good. Never met a man who said "oh she's the best, no tits, no ass, no thighs, just how I like them". Men want curves. Not girls who starve themselves.
KungFuJoe Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Oh and by the way, the girl who looks like a doll -- yeah, no thanks. I don't see any man I know wanting to tap that. I think women let themselves get warped by these crazy body expectations and it does more harm than good. Never met a man who said "oh she's the best, no tits, no ass, no thighs, just how I like them". Men want curves. Not girls who starve themselves. Have you looked up the rest of her pictures? She's got MAJOR curves. Ridiculous curves. Maybe not the ass you prefer, but she is definitely not a stick.
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