Is reconcilliation possible?

[movin it]

Hey guys, i will give you the gist of what happened here, sorry if it gets a little long, ill keep it short as i can.

 

I really care for this girl and am open to getting back with her in due time if it were to happen, but i'm not attached to us getting back either i just want to see where it goes.

 

I was with my girlfriend for 3 years we had our little arguments here and there but most the time we were really deeply connected and loved each others company.

 

In the last 6 months of our relationship i became very needy and would get upset when she wasnt around, my ex is a dr and she is very busy with work which i have never had an issue with in the past, i jsut got myself in a rut and didnt have many good friends around and i had slowly phased away from my hobbys so i was relying on her for all my connection and enjoyment.

 

This took its toll on the relationship and she became distant and then we decided mutually to break up, the next day i was regretting the decision and tried to talk her out of it with no luck.

 

She said she has just lost the spark and doesnt feel the same attraction to me any more, so we went 2 weeks with minimal contact and she agreed to catch up with me for a coffee which went great until i got emotional and brought up us getting back together she said she hasnt written "Us" off getting back together completely but we just arnt working at this point in time.

 

She wanted to keep friends, but i said i cant right now and she said to contact her when i am ready"

 

I went about 3 months of very very low contact, just a birthday card i sent her a month into no contact and an email to say hello how are you about a month later again.

 

I have been moving on with life and working on my own issues that i know lead to the lack of attraction and i have been meeting other girls as well.

I still am open to something happening with my ex but im not attached to an out come of us getting back together either.

 

I called her the other week to say hello and she was in the middle of a movie at the cinemas so she didnt answer but she txtd straight away asking "if everything was ok and she can call tommorow?" i said yeah just calling to say hey and see how your going, ill call tommorow"

 

So we spoke on the phone the next day and instantly connected, there was lots of laughing and fun and she brought up she has struggled with some really big down times etc, so i just avoided it and said "its fine you wil get there eventually" and moved to a different topic.

I asked her if she was free to grab a coffee and she lit up and instantly said "yeah sure" and got really excited on the phone.

 

I ended the convo because i had stuff to do, we spoke for about half an hour.

 

She txt me the next morning real early saying "She loved chatting last night, i'm glad we can do that, have a good day :)"

 

I said yeah it was nice to chat have a good day and left it at that

She then emailed me that day just to tell me what she did in her day i said awesome and showed a bit of interest and left it at that"

 

She then went real quiet over the next few days and txt me saying "hmm can we delay our coffee because im not really in a good state of mind. I would rather catch up when im happy if thats ok?"

 

I just replied with "yeah thats fine, is everything ok? just so you know im here if you ever need to chat, dont be scared to get in touch"

 

She said ill be ok thanks you know me well, how i end up in these states and i allways pull through"

 

I replied "saying its ok everyone goes through ups and downs ive come to learn its normal for us all to have ups and downs, as much as id like not to i have them regularly aswell, would you like to stay in touch?"

 

She said yeah it would be great to stay in touch, ill be away for a few months but maybe when i get back we should catch up? your right about the ups and downs. i have such good ups but the lows are really low and they suck take care my dear"

 

I replied " yeah sure:) take the time you need and i look forward to catching up with you when you are ready.

ill share something that helped me a lot, (you dont have to take it on but it may help) try to accept your down times aswell as the up times because they all make you the beautifull person you are. As much as i used to try hide it i have great ups and really low downs aswell its pretty normal so dont fret you have amazing things comeing your way ill call you sometime to say hey.

 

Take care for now

 

and i left it at that, then 4 hours later she randomly txt me to just tell me "she had her car fixed finally and it works a treat"

 

I'm a little confused to whats going on here, i know she would have been shocked because i have learned to control my emotions much better and didnt react or try to criticise her about it.

 

would any of you guys have any ideas? ive been on a few dates now aswell but cant let my emotions open up right now.

 

what should i do now just leave it at that?

 

any help would be greatly appreciated

[PogoStick]

She's not giving you much but conversation. Try less texting and push more for meeting. If she resists then become less available. The less she gives, the more you pull away.

[movin it]

As much as i care for her i feel i may need to just move forward and meet more girls out there.

 

There is no doubting the spark was there when we spokke on the phone, she was really excited and enthusiastic in her voice and she got even more excited when i asked her to catch up for coffee.

The next day she txt me saying she loved chatting and have a good day.

 

then just went quiet again.

 

I think maybe there is a chance there of reconciliation but i may need to just leave her to her own space to think about it.

 

what do you think?

[zah]

i think you made good moves by showing her that you're a happy person. good start. just keep working on yourself and give her time, at least some months. pick up some hobbies, diversify, work out and be proud, and she'll notice. just reemerge new and improved regardless of what happens or who you meet

[movin it]

Well she has started liking my fbook status's so i guess thats some sort of contact?

 

She hasnt liked any of my facebook photos or status's for months, and i know she had been lookking at them because she let it slip on our phone call that she had seen i had been going out partying a bit.

 

Do you guys think this is a good sign?