Emilia Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 UPDATED STORY: So after 3 days of not talking, I put my big girl pants on and sent him a "Hey!" text message. To which he innocently replied "Hey! Your alive!". He gave me the usual "he was busy speech" (with examples). At that point, I asked him why he hasn't contacted me and he said "I just felt like waiting til you text me". This bring me to my million dollar question: Do guys really wait to be contacted, or it's really just a polite way of saying "I'm not interested"? Or do you think that in my case he was too ashamed to contact me after what he did? Perhaps he taught he blew it, and kept the little self-esteem he had left to wait it out? Doesn't it go like this: if a guy is interested he will do all he can to contact you and make plans? I am quite concerned that now I will have to be the one to invite him to do something, and I've always been taught to never chase guys. But, I would hate to miss out on something nice because of some set of rules- which ultimately can be broken. That link appears to be broken so I'm not 100% sure what happened. It's possible that he was waiting for you to contact him so that he wouldn't come across too pushy and he had obviously pushed for sex. Whether he likes you or not is probably too early to tell. By my values it's not the man that does all the contacting and date planning, no. I like responsibilities divided along the 50-50 line personally.
clia Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Doesn't it go like this: if a guy is interested he will do all he can to contact you and make plans In my experience, this is 100% true. A guy who is really interested is going to make every effort to see you and talk to you. (See, for example, all of the posts on this site from guys who are interested in girls and wondering if it is too soon to call and how they should ask her out or show her they are interested.) Guys who are interested don't mess around. They take the chance because they don't want to let you go easily. Guys who are lukewarm are more willing to sit back and let you make some effort and chase after them. Maybe every now and then they will throw you a bone and contact you. Then you will feel all warm and cuddly and wonderful that "He called!" It makes you forget the times he doesn't call and let you sit there and wonder what he was doing or thinking. Yes, I have had relationships with guys where I did more of the chasing. I texted more, called more, made more plans. I'm not saying guys aren't at all interested in women who do that. However, their interest level in me was much lower than the ones who pursued me. They liked me enough, but it was more lukewarm. Then, inevitably, they moved on to someone they liked better than me...and chased after her hard. 1
Mrlonelyone Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Ladies let us not forget the experience that I assure you EVERY male who pursues women has had. Being interested in a woman and making every effort to contact and make plans only for her to at best be not interested and flake on plans or at worst call him a creepy stalker (perhaps even filing charges founded or unfounded to that effect.) All this has to happen is just once. In high school a young lady I had known since grade school accused me of stalking her "following her to class". Never mind we were going to the same class and the previous classes were in nearby rooms...Thankfully the police saw through that mess. Most stories are less extreme than that, but every man ... I'd even include gay men in that.. has a story of some female overreacting to you calling them one time too many or whatever. For this reason, and others, even men who are interested in you learn to not "do everything in their power" to contact a woman. She only think's that's cute if she likes you (and even then a woman's mood can change that on a daily or weekly basis).
crude Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 If you dont act like a bitch, they will eventually walk all over you and leech off of you. Doesn't that apply to men as well as women. In our society, most of the leeches are women.
Author dulcessa Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 Men want to know if the woman is really interested too. If he's the one doing all the work it can feel like your not that into him. So he pulls back and waits to see if you make an effort to be with him. If not then he has his answer. I made an effort ...I texted him yesterday...what now? waiting games all over again?lol
weee111 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I made an effort ...I texted him yesterday...what now? waiting games all over again?lol Now stop wasting your time and find a guy that is actually interested in you....
Author dulcessa Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 Now stop wasting your time and find a guy that is actually interested in you.... i cant seem to like those. I'm a lost cause- Seems that I am only attracted to the ones that don't want me. Last week, when this guy was actually pursuing me I almost cancelled our date.
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I knew she was going to. OP. Don't text him again. Don't talk to him again. & please please, don't POST about him again. Do you REALLY think it is a good idea!?
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 i cant seem to like those. I'm a lost cause- Seems that I am only attracted to the ones that don't want me. Last week, when this guy was actually pursuing me I almost cancelled our date. OMG. You cannot be ferreallllll.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I sometimes wait for women to contact me because I'm scared they'll think I'm too clingy if I contact them first. I don't want to be that annoying guy that women try to run away from .
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