kar Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 I stayed strong I didn't give him the satisfaction of breaking up with me to my face to make himself feel better, I changed the locks, I deleted all contact info ( I don't social network either thank god or I'd have a heart attack)...and then a strictly my friend who didnt know about the break up yet shoots me a text asking "are you guys not together?" Blah blah she saw something on facebook already..I did everything to be strong to not see or engage in bad behavior involving the ex..and now it feels like a punch to the stomach. So here I sit alone in my place crying my eyes out -over what she saw I don't even know, she was smart enough to leave it at "you don't need to know trust me". I thought I was doing everything right for this break up, so why am I back to like the last time we broke up!? I guess I just needed to cry my eyes out here I don't want him having the satisfaction of hearing about me crying to friends. Any strong advice would be appreciated.
juliabrookes Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 You are doing fantastic. Don't allow anything negative to bring you down. It doesn't matter what he thinks of you or says about you. It is obvious he is thinking about you if he is on a social network posting about you so that your friends tell you. The dust will settle and everything with him will soon be a memory. P.s. give yourself a good week to cry. Everyday as much as you like. When day 8 comes around, no more tears, pick yourself up and keep yourself busy. But don't ever answer his phone calls or talk to him again. No need to repeat another disaster right?! Good luck
stevie_23 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 You ARE strong. Strong people are vulnerable because they care and have big hearts and strong emotions. These are all good things. Right now is a very painful time, so allow yourself that time to heal and start to feel better. To me, it’s an added strain to have to be aware of “watching yourself” and what you express to your friends because he might find out about it. That is unnecessary and just puts more pressure and stress on your shoulders that doesn’t need to be there because it’s about HIM, not you. You are allowed to feel however it is you feel and you are allowed to express it in whatever way you choose. WHO CARES if he hears from a friend of your’s that you were upset? OF COURSE you’re upset. You’ve had a breakup. It is upsetting, full stop. If he has a problem with that, or if he gets some sense of satisfaction from that, then he never deserved you in the first place and you’re better off now. Either way, don’t worry about what he might hear, see, find out or think about anything you do now. I know this takes time, but try not to make it about him. This is about you now. This is your time to heal.
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