JuneBug79 Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 Been on 3 dates with a guy over the last few weeks and they went so well. He texts and calls all the time, and says he misses me etc... I think I was really liking him and liked seeing where it was going Then Saturday his had a heart dad heart attack.... and then again on Monday with surgery and stroke. Since Saturday I've barely heard from him which is TOTALLY understandable. It feels so weird to not talk to him on the phone and stuff... lol But in any case, he's sent out a couple hi texts with very delayed responses and last night I asked him how his dad was doing and it didn't sound good at all.... I sent a text saying If he needed anything even a shoulder to let me know, but I also understand if he wants to be alone and I hope his dad pulls through. He said "I'm sure he will" and that was pretty much it besides a hi text again from him today. I'm positive he needs space... and I'm giving him that. It's killing me to know my boundaries after only 3 dates and lots of talking with this guy. I feel like I want to be there and support him but I don't feel thats appropriate too. My second thought is ... darnit... I just met him! Is this going to doom him wanting to continue to get to know me for awhile, especially if his father passes away??? How does one deal with this... I don't want to be the overbearing person where he thinks..."I barely know you woman leave me alone"... but I also don't want him to think afterwards, "well gee, all that was going on and she didn't even care"And what are my boundaries if that happens because I want to be there for him too.... what do I do? I need to add that he is not just playing with me or yanking my chain.. this really did happen as he added me on Facebook after our last date and he's posted about it on there. Link to post Share on other sites
Fondue Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 First, you barely know him. Second, he's a man. If he's anything like me, then he would prefer you keep your distance and allow him to deal with **** himself. Men are problem solvers, and we hate asking for help. He wants to deal with his own emotions in a way that suits him. You made it clear that you care by telling him that your shoulder is available. He knows you care and that is enough . *** The only thing is that after such trauma that his father went through, he may not be interested in a romantic thing right now. That kind **** messes with your head, I'm sure. Don't get too attached, in my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
Palominas Posted January 22, 2013 Share Posted January 22, 2013 At this point, just be there for him as a friend would. If he needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on. So, like you said, don't be overbearing, but let him feel comfortable coming to you if he feels like it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneBug79 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Share Posted January 22, 2013 Oh Fondue.. thank you... that is exactly what I was thinking honestly, but it helps to have a guy confirm that. Women and men are so damn different sometimes you just need to have affirmation that you are doing the right thing. To add I was thinking the same thing about him not being interested in a romantic relationship now. Horrible timing.... Thanks again Link to post Share on other sites
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