paperboy48 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I realize this might sound shallow....I'm sorry for that. So, here it goes. I am exclusive with this fabulous sweet sweet woman. She is everything I want in a partner and I see this as being a long long haul relationship. She is a very pretty woman. The first few times we went out (we've been seeing each other for 3 months) she wore make-up, lipstick and earings and since then she hasn't accept one time for New Year's Eve. I like a girl to pretty herself up with those things, that is my taste. It's not like we have stayed in everytime since our third date. We have been out by ourselves and with friends and family. Is there any way I can address this with her without coming across as a total shallow jerk?
KungFuJoe Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I realize this might sound shallow....I'm sorry for that. So, here it goes. I am exclusive with this fabulous sweet sweet woman. She is everything I want in a partner and I see this as being a long long haul relationship. She is a very pretty woman. The first few times we went out (we've been seeing each other for 3 months) she wore make-up, lipstick and earings and since then she hasn't accept one time for New Year's Eve. I like a girl to pretty herself up with those things, that is my taste. It's not like we have stayed in everytime since our third date. We have been out by ourselves and with friends and family. Is there any way I can address this with her without coming across as a total shallow jerk? Tell her how great she looks when she gets all dolled up. Also, do you dress to impress when you go out? 3
mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It's a proven fact that men find women more attractive when they make themselves look as such. Maybe she feels that now that she "has" you she doesn't have to try? Just a suggestion.
Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Perhaps take her out to a nice dinner and you two get dolled up, and when she gets dolled up, make a remark about how you love when you two get dolled up/dress fancy, etc. 3
KungFuJoe Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It's a proven fact that men find women more attractive when they make themselves look as such. Maybe she feels that now that she "has" you she doesn't have to try? Just a suggestion. That would be awful if true. Deal breaker as far as I'm concerned.
Author paperboy48 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Also, do you dress to impress when you go out? Yes, i do.
xxoo Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 As a woman who wears little make up (and often none), I'd recommend that you keep it positive about how much you enjoy the "make up look". She may have dated others who told her they prefer her face without make up. Let her know that you think she is very pretty, with or without make up, but that you particularly enjoy her look with make up, and ask her to indulge you when you go out! Be sure to match her effort, of course! 4
silvermercy Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 That would be awful if true. Deal breaker as far as I'm concerned. Then the majority of women is un-datable for you. Only date high-maintenance ones. lol Listen OP. It IS shallow indeed. Not saying it's not nice of her to make an effort but are you sure you're THAT into her? This looks more like some kind of fetish to me. LOL Surely, you would find her equally desirable with or without makeup? At least make sure YOU make an effort, too, and then ask her what she likes for you to wear. Maybe then you can make a suggestion how much you love it. Be careful how you phrase it though. Just a little negative comment about a woman's appearance, especially from a boyfriend, can cut really deep. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Then the majority of women is un-datable for you. Only date high-maintenance ones. lol Listen OP. It IS shallow indeed. Not saying it's not nice of her to make an effort but are you sure you're THAT into her? This looks more like some kind of fetish to me. LOL Surely, you would find her equally desirable with or without makeup? At least make sure YOU make an effort, too, and then ask her what she likes for you to wear. Maybe then you can make a suggestion how much you love it. Be careful how you phrase it though. Just a little negative comment about a woman's appearance, especially from a boyfriend, can cut really deep. So you're saying once you got a man you stop trying? Good luck keeping one. 1
silvermercy Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 So you're saying once you got a man you stop trying? Good luck keeping one. Yeah, because we all know committed men have no beer bellies, are always slim, fit, shave every day, don't smell, and actually have 6-packs! 2
Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah, because we all know committed men have no beer bellies, are always slim, fit, shave every day, don't smell, and actually have 6-packs! If a guy is smelling, I'm sure most women will have a problem, and one can be in decent shape without being slim or fit.
KungFuJoe Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah, because we all know committed men have no beer bellies, are always slim, fit, shave every day, don't smell, and actually have 6-packs! I don't have a six pack (flat belly) but I'm fit, workout regularly, smell damn good, shave every day, dress to impress and never EVER stop trying to impress my woman, even with three kids. And she does the same. Maybe that's why we still can't keep our hands off each other after 13 years.
silvermercy Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I don't have a six pack (flat belly) but I'm fit, workout regularly, smell damn good, shave every day, dress to impress and never EVER stop trying to impress my woman, even with three kids. And she does the same. Maybe that's why we still can't keep our hands off each other after 13 years. I would like to believe you. Good for YOU.
charlietheginger Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 (edited) Does the OP wear makeup and earings？ Why should she if you dont? Listen buddy when your with a women for along time You will see her best at worst. BEST all dolled up lipstick full make up hair blown out. WORST menstruating in bed bloated with big zit on her face its very unrealistic to expect women in full make up Dressed up. Alot of women do it becuase they work In personal relations and have to dress accordingly. Id say mon~friday don't bug her about makeup Also what's changed in the last 3months is your prob Not on dates at restaurants as fancy or more casual places Me i love a women that's secure going out in jeans and Tshirt maybe even a cute baseball cap. Imo makeup Covers a women beauty Guys have it eazy shower shave hairwax brushteeth done Women go through alot to get dolled up Getting fully dolled up take a women a hour or so. shower shavelegs shave under arms shave pooise blow dry put on makeup foundation Concealer pencil in the lips lipstick blush eyeshadow Pencil in the eyebrows mascara style the hair Edited January 22, 2013 by charlietheginger 8
StanMusial Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 How about trying this one Friday night: "My God woman, are you going out like that??" 2
KungFuJoe Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 How about trying this one Friday night: "My God woman, are you going out like that??" Are you trying to get her to go out with you or kill you? ....too soon? 2
veggirl Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You could ask her why she doesn't get as dolled up as she did when you guys first met. I am sure it is because she now is more comfortable and feels like she doesn't need to "try" anymore. People really get worked up on the physical attraction thing and will try to call you shallow, but I don't think it is. You were attracted to her because of what she presented to you. Now she is switching it all up. Im sure you don't expect her to roll out of bed looking glamorous, Im sure you understand that we all have lazy days etc. But if she is ALWAYS looking shleppy then yes I would lose attraction as well.
aussietigerwolf Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 maybe she was just trying to impress you and doesn't really like that stuff.
veggirl Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 maybe she was just trying to impress you and doesn't really like that stuff. Well then that was a dumbass idea. not to mention, in romantic relationships we should always like to impress our partner. It keeps things special 1
kaylan Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 I realize this might sound shallow....I'm sorry for that. So, here it goes. I am exclusive with this fabulous sweet sweet woman. She is everything I want in a partner and I see this as being a long long haul relationship. She is a very pretty woman. The first few times we went out (we've been seeing each other for 3 months) she wore make-up, lipstick and earings and since then she hasn't accept one time for New Year's Eve. I like a girl to pretty herself up with those things, that is my taste. It's not like we have stayed in everytime since our third date. We have been out by ourselves and with friends and family. Is there any way I can address this with her without coming across as a total shallow jerk? Why does a woman even need to wear makeup? its bs from society and guys like you that teaches them they need that stuff. Personally I feel a girl is most beautiful in her natural skin. I hope you dress up as much as you expect this woman to. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Why does a woman even need to wear makeup? its bs from society and guys like you that teaches them they need that stuff. Personally I feel a girl is most beautiful in her natural skin. I hope you dress up as much as you expect this woman to. You're joking right? Being sarcastic? Trying to make a point by taking the "wrong" stance on purpose? Which one is it?
chex Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 You're joking right? Being sarcastic? Trying to make a point by taking the "wrong" stance on purpose? Which one is it? Huh, he could genuinely hold that view. IMO, it's her decision if she wants to wear makeup or not, it's my decision about whether to like how she looks or not.
Citizen Erased Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 There's probably no way to approach her about this without her thinking you're an arse. So good luck with that. 1
sweetjasmine Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 As a woman who wears little make up (and often none), I'd recommend that you keep it positive about how much you enjoy the "make up look". She may have dated others who told her they prefer her face without make up. Let her know that you think she is very pretty, with or without make up, but that you particularly enjoy her look with make up, and ask her to indulge you when you go out! Be sure to match her effort, of course! Agreed with all of this. If it bothers you, saying that you really like it when she gets dolled up is the best way to go. It'd be best to keep it positive and avoid saying things like "you should wear make-up" or "you look better with make-up on." I also rarely wear make-up. Just once in a while on a whim, when we go out someplace nice or if it's a special or formal occasion. I don't "do" my hair (though it is neat, sometimes braided these days, sometimes in a bun), but I do wear earrings. The worst and most irritating thing in the world is being made to feel like someone is demanding I wear make-up. It makes me feel like I'm 15 and arguing with my mother all over again, and she's sitting there telling me that I'll look ugly without it, and boys won't like me. Putting on make-up all the time can be a tedious (not to mention expensive) chore for some.
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