d_vine61 Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 I was dating this guy for about 2 1/2 months I really liked him. I had told him from the beginning that I was taking this whole things serious that I wasn't here to play games and I told him to let me know if he was going to take it seriously as well and he told me he is. Well about 4 weeks ago he started to change he wasn't calling me as much, and wasn't making the effort to hang out with me anymore. So I told him I needed to talk to him because I wanted to find out what was going on. He told me he would call me after work the next day like around 1:30p.m. but I didn't receive a phone call so I waited till 3:30p.m.. and I called and left him a message. Later on I got a text from him saying that he would call me the next day because he needed to think a few things out. Well the next day we meet up the first thing he tells me is "you're looking for something serious huh?" I was like yeah I told you that from the beginning. He then told me that he's just too busy right now, he's in no rush to get married, that I pushed things too fast, that he wanted things to be friends from the beginning, that he still liked me and still wanted to hang out with me. He told me he would call me but wouldn't tell me when so I wouldn't get mad if he didn't call so I was like o.k. Well more than a week went by and I didn't hear from him. I just got so angry because I realized he just sugar coated everything and I got dumped. The thing I don't understand is that he told me I pushed things too fast but I wasn't the one doing the chasing he was he was the one calling me everyday, texting me every night, he bought me a little crystal rose, inviting me to go out, he would text me things like "you are one in a million I look forward to see where our relationship goes" and "I only see good things in our future" and he tried to turn everything around on me saying I was the one who got attached to fast, and I pushed things. He doesn't make any sense because in the beginning he told me he was taking this whole thing serious and then he tells me he wanted things to be just as friends from the beginning. I was so angry and hurt because I felt like he led me on so I wrote him a letter telling him all the things I felt I told him I feel like he led me on, played with my feelings, felt like a disposable toy etc. I thought with the letter I would get some closure but I don't feel like I did. My friend called me about a few days after I gave him the letter (she's the one who introduced us) and she told me that he feels really bad, but I feel as if I deserve an explanation, an apology from him, o.k. yeah he feels bad but is he just going to leave me feeling the way I do? Why didn't he call? I haven't talked to him for about 2 weeks now, what is he doing/thinking? I just feel like its so unfair to me I don't deserve to have my feelings stomped on like this. I feel as if he thinks he's off the hook now and doesn't have to worry about dealing with me I'm so angry, confused, hurt why is he doing this to me? Desperately need advice from a guy or anyone. I can't stop thinking about him I don't know why I like him so much I miss talking to him.
pitprincess Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 Sometimes people think they are ready when they really are not ready. Sounds like you were ready for something long term and he was not ready for it even if he said he was. Guys like to make us feel like we hold the light in the sky but they get scared and become a JETT in the night.
librooks Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 It sounds like he simply "changed his mind". Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he got bored. Who knows? The point is, now you know it's over and you should move on. Easier said than done, because it really hurts. But DON'T be tempted to call or write him ever again; it'll make you feel worse. We women always want answers, and "closure", and most of the time we don't get it and we just have to accept that.
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