Brunettie Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been dating 7.5 months. We're in our early 20's. In the beginning, he'd text me good morning everyday and we'd text all day up until the good night text. I liked that. That went on for awhile. Eventually the amount of texts decreased, but I still got them. Then, the texts mostly stopped, but he'd always call me on his way home from work everyday, with a few sparse texts every once in awhile. This is still fine by me. *>>>Now to my question: Lately, he kind of I guess..."picks and chooses" (for lack of a better phrase) what texts he replies to. I have sent him questions in a text and gotten no reply. For the most part, he does reply, but a few times lately he hasn't. For instance last night he didn't call me on his way home from work. I got worried and before bed I texted and asked if he was still at work. He said he was home, we exchanged a couple more texts and said good night. Then I asked if he was ok and got no response. Is this just how guys are? I'm just wondering because in the beginning he'd reply to every text, even if it just said "ok." In person everything is great. He is sweet, affectionate, tells me he loves me, etc. PS He mentioned about me texting him a certain something every morning and I playfully said, "why? you don't normally even reply to my texts anymore" and he said, "bc I've been busy" (which when he's at work, yes he is. but the no responses I'm referring to are when he is at home.)
Treasa Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Stop texting him. Find some really awesome things in your life to do that will take up too much of your time to text him. Better yet, turn off your phone while you're doing these things. Have an absolutely fabulous life. 4
clia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 *>>>Now to my question: Lately, he kind of I guess..."picks and chooses" (for lack of a better phrase) what texts he replies to. I have sent him questions in a text and gotten no reply. For the most part, he does reply, but a few times lately he hasn't. How many times a day are you texting him? Do the questions you are texting him really need to be answered right then? For instance last night he didn't call me on his way home from work. I got worried and before bed I texted and asked if he was still at work. He said he was home, we exchanged a couple more texts and said good night. Then I asked if he was ok and got no response. The "are you ok" text was unnecessary. He probably didn't respond because he was annoyed. Is this just how guys are? I'm just wondering because in the beginning he'd reply to every text, even if it just said "ok." Again, not surprising that in the beginning he wanted to text with you all the time and always responded. He was on his best behavior. He was infatuated and smitten and the pheremones were going crazy. Now it is reality time. It may not mean anything. I don't respond to probably 50% of the texts my boyfriend sends me. I prefer to talk to him on the phone or in person. I hate texting. I don't understand all these "good morning" texts and constant need to text all day long with someone. Why? Like Treasa suggested, stop focusing so much on the texting and get busy doing other things. In person everything is great. He is sweet, affectionate, tells me he loves me, etc. Good. How often do you see him? PS He mentioned about me texting him a certain something every morning and I playfully said, "why? you don't normally even reply to my texts anymore" and he said, "bc I've been busy" (which when he's at work, yes he is. but the no responses I'm referring to are when he is at home.) Just because he's at home doesn't mean he isn't busy.
Fondue Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 "Need" for constant communication to reassure yourself that everything is "okay" is the problem here, not the fact that he began to communicate with you less. Just like Treasa said, have your own life. It isn't sexy to be clingy.
Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 "Need" for constant communication to reassure yourself that everything is "okay" is the problem here, not the fact that he began to communicate with you less. Just like Treasa said, have your own life. It isn't sexy to be clingy. I think the only "problem" here is she was just wondering what happened when behavior has changed. When you are getting A everyday, but then it stops, one probably naturally wonders. Now I wouldnt worry about it as this seems to happen in all relationships, it starts out all hot and heavy, and the honeymoon period eventually ends and things just settle to a normal tone. At this point in a relationship, as long as you get some sort of contact each day, no biggie, even if it is just one text 1
Author Brunettie Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 How many times a day are you texting him? Do the questions you are texting him really need to be answered right then? Once. If he doesn't reply, I generally won't send another one. They don't need to be answered instantly, but an answer when he gets the chance would be nice. Like Treasa suggested, stop focusing so much on the texting and get busy doing other things. I do. It's just something I think about. Like Casablanca said. Good. How often do you see him? Twice a week normally. Once at minimum. Just because he's at home doesn't mean he isn't busy. Right, but replying to a text takes a matter of seconds. I think the only "problem" here is she was just wondering what happened when behavior has changed. When you are getting A everyday, but then it stops, one probably naturally wonders. Exactly. At this point in a relationship, as long as you get some sort of contact each day, no biggie, even if it is just one text 99% of the time, yes, we do. But once in a blue moon there won't be any communication that day. It's probably happened maybe 3-5 times, so not really a big deal I guess. ------------------------------------------------------ I'm mainly just wondering why he's like that, and if it's just a guy thing.
Casablanca Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 I'm mainly just wondering why he's like that, and if it's just a guy thing. I guess its a "guy" thing. That is how most if not all my relationships have turned too...after a while you do run out of things to talk about and perhaps if a day was boring or uneventful, nothing to really report...though I don't know if I've ever gone a day without contacting my S.O.
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