Alia_alia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 (edited) So started dating casually this guy some months ago, who honestly was a big player and I was fine with that as I wasn't looking for anything serious. I tell him about my dates, he tells me about his other "friends", who he sleeps with. Later down the road we got more and more intimate. The last time we hung out, we had a really great time like usual. - I mentioned giving him a hickey and he said after X date when this other girl he's seeing leaves. - He mentioned making out with one of his close friends a few weeks ago. - Yet when we were cuddling he said that he prioritizes me over everyone. When I asked what that meant, he said he is not looking for anyone else. - Later same convo, he mentioned how it was so good when we first started and were just FWB and now he's getting all these feelings and doesn't know what to do with them. I told him to not think too much and just let it be for now and that he confuses me. Later he dropped off at work, with his usual cocky "bye bye", saying "get the **** out of my car now", in a teasing kind of way. He never really contacts me, outside of asking me to "hang out". We haven't had a relatinoship talk. I don't know if I want one. Is it due? Confused. Edited January 22, 2013 by Alia_alia
FitChick Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Didn't you already post a thread on this? If you don't know what you want, why is this even a problem?
sabre80 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 YOU'RE confused?! I just tried to read your post. 1
TigerCub Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You said it yourself, he's a player. Therefore.... 1) You're not more special than the rest 2) There will be others (remember: he likes it when it was FWB) 3) There is nothing to be confused about - he's just testing out his lines and their effects. If you want the FWB - have fun, be safe If you want a real relationship - look for that elsewhere.
AMusing Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 So... you're in a FWB thing with a guy, and you are both starting to develop feelings for each other. But both of you aren't sure what that means to either of you. Meanwhile you are both sleeping with multiple other people and talking to each other about your other dates... is that right? Without really understanding the details, I guess my advice is pretty simple. Figure out what you want with him. Tell him how you feel. Ask him how he feels. Listen to his answer. Decide how you want to act, based on what both of you say. Oh, and nothing he said convinces me he's anything more than a player. They all say you're "number one." Take what he says with a grain of salt. Or two or three grains.
Author Alia_alia Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 So... you're in a FWB thing with a guy, and you are both starting to develop feelings for each other. But both of you aren't sure what that means to either of you. Meanwhile you are both sleeping with multiple other people and talking to each other about your other dates... is that right? Without really understanding the details, I guess my advice is pretty simple. Figure out what you want with him. Tell him how you feel. Ask him how he feels. Listen to his answer. Decide how you want to act, based on what both of you say. Oh, and nothing he said convinces me he's anything more than a player. They all say you're "number one." Take what he says with a grain of salt. Or two or three grains. Thanks a lot. for the input. I know I am pretty into him. I feel very very comfortable and we share lots of intimate hugging kissing and caressing. We've hung out when I'm on my period. He never made a big deal out of sex with me. He introduced me to his friends. He says he really likes good sweet girls (Im a good girl ) As for what he says. Why would he lie to me? He's been very very honest with me so far about everything, even things I would not wanna hear.
AMusing Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 He very easily could have genuine feelings for you. But saying he doesn't know what to do with those feelings should tell you something (at the very least, should encourage you to tread carefully so you don't get hurt). But then, you don't know what to do with your feelings either; which is why I recommended figuring out what you really want from him before doing anything else. If I were to hazard a guess, I would guess you want an exclusive relationship from him. If you didn't, I doubt you'd be on LS posting about the guy. If he asked you to be his girlfriend, would you say yes? If you asked for an exclusive relationship and he said no, would you be totally fine to continue as FWB? Start asking yourself questions and working through the answers. Eventually your feelings will become clearer.
MyPoutine Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 First figure out what both of you want and then see if a change is needed, FWB are messy messy things for most people if they go on for a long time. If you decide to give it a go I'd suggest taking some time apart to think and be single (i.e. no contact with other people either). Then see how attractive an exclusive relationship sounds. It's easy to "be in love" when you only see each other to hang out and have sex but relationships are much, much more than that. Also "good girls" don't have multiple FWB's...that's an oxymoron lol
Author Alia_alia Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 First figure out what both of you want and then see if a change is needed, FWB are messy messy things for most people if they go on for a long time. If you decide to give it a go I'd suggest taking some time apart to think and be single (i.e. no contact with other people either). Then see how attractive an exclusive relationship sounds. It's easy to "be in love" when you only see each other to hang out and have sex but relationships are much, much more than that. Also "good girls" don't have multiple FWB's...that's an oxymoron lol I am not sleeping with anyone else. I never did while I was with him. I was "seeing other guys", pretty much keeping my options open and living the single life. And I've been with 3 guys in my whole life... :$ MyPoutine care to explain why relationships "are much much more than that". I am not very experienced with relationships but I thought if 2 people were "in love" with each other, then that was what mattered.
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