trevjim Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Ive heard narcissistic, Borderling words being thrown out to describe ex's and that. I dumped my ex of two and half years, well it was mainly me and a little bit of mutual from her. Anyway all through our relationship, she was needy, no matter how much attention i gave her it was never enough, she got incredibly jelouse of other girls and any ex's i had. was very intense and argumentative. if we had a big argument she would run to another guy to sleep with him etc and then come back to me when we calmed down ( i didnt realise she was sleeping around until we finaly split) so when she split, the same day she sent a facebook message to an ex (she left her facebook on my phone) and the day after i moved out she was seeing him and are still together 2 months later. Now i know if i had just walked out and she did this it would be because she needs a lover or whatever right? he was also a guy she went back to when we had an argument one time However i unfortunatly did fight for her and she chose to stay with him over me, which im fine with now as i feel i dodged a bullet with her. But why would she chose to be with a guy who is really ugly, and has no prospects etc, over someone she 'loves' without going into details i am better then this bloke in every field. however as he is pretty desperate he will literaly do anything for her and she can wear as many trousers as possible in their relationship, something she had to fight for with me. Is that why? I know you guys will say just leave it move on etc, judge me how you want, i just wanna get how a girl can love me and need me and be so jelouse and then suddenly settle for a downgrade even when she knows i wanted her back. 1
evondavis1 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 narcissistic personality disorder is very complicated. You will have to do research, and read and read. From the story you wrote, it seems more of a low self esteem, insecurity issue. Jealousy of ex's and sleeping with other men doesn't necessarily make her narcisstic, however she might be. My ex was a classic NPD, he threw on the charm and I love you's within weeks of meeting. After several years, he would be mean and critisize me like crazy. Talk about people behind their back, but would be completely charming in person. He would blame everyone for his life instead of dealing with himself. Emotional abuse is classic with NPD. She sounds very insecure, looking for a man to fill the void, NPD people do this all the time. It could go either way. 1
missa203322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Simply she is insecure and the fact that he gives her that power and is no competition for her makes her feel better. Some people thrive on that sort of thing. 1
Author trevjim Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I understand you cant make a decision just on the paragraph i wrote. She used to tell me she wanted love like in the movies, as she felt thats what a few of her friends had, why would she want to be with someone for security and an ego boost if love meant so much to her. Surley she will get bored of that? also sex is a big thing for her, if he is rubbish she will surley go to someone else for her kicks? as she did before with him With her family, friends and me, she was 'never wrong' and spoilt alot. Had a tough upbringing and emotional abuse from her dad and step mum. I have read alot into NPD and BPD and she seems to tick boxes in both, not enough to be a definate, but no too little to rule her out on either one either
Woggle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Just be glad to be rid of her and stop worrying about what she is doing.
evondavis1 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Still, from you recent update, it definately sounds like very low self-esteem. Lots of women want to find this perfect love, and even if it's in front of them they won't notice because they are not happy with themselves. She has to be happy inside before she can be happy outside. 1
flitzanu Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 are you trying to find a psychological reason for why this girl that lied and cheated...left you?
Author trevjim Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 are you trying to find a psychological reason for why this girl that lied and cheated...left you? Yes i am, i know i shouldnt, but i would like to
flitzanu Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yes i am, i know i shouldnt, but i would like to this isn't going to help you. you can label your ex whatever you want, but the simple truth is, she chose to be with someone else, and chose to NOT be with you. all the rest is totally irrelevant, and you're only bashing your head against a wall trying to figure it out. you know why? because you're NEVER GOING TO KNOW. the only way you'll know what's "wrong" with this ex is if she hands you her psych evaluation stating what type of illness or disorders she may have, and THEN you'd have your proof. everything else is conjecture, and honestly...people are allowed to change their mind and simply choose to NOT be with you. i wracked my brain for months convincing myself something must be wrong with my ex because i'm pretty much the most awesome thing in this town, and then finally allowed that reality to sink back in that it isn't ME that was the problem...she just didn't want to be with me anymore, plain as that.
Hopeful714 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 What was going on with these other girls and ex's to make her jealous? And, if you were dating her, why were all these other girls in your life? Could it be things YOU were doing were contributing to this? Just askin.
CptSaveAho Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Yes i am, i know i shouldnt, but i would like to The relationship ran its course, peoples' feelings change, heal, move forward... profit 1
Author trevjim Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 What was going on with these other girls and ex's to make her jealous? And, if you were dating her, why were all these other girls in your life? Could it be things YOU were doing were contributing to this? Just askin. She got funny if i put deodrant on to go to work, because she thought i was trying to impress someone. or if a girl 'looked' at me she would get upset just things like that
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