joel Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 getting a gf or a date is hard. first i really wonder why or how come a girl would even want me to be their bf or even date me. well date me b/c they like me but i bet later on after 3 dates i bet u most girls wouldn't want me. ok what do i have to offer-no job, no car,not rich nothing, i mean other than avg to good looks-not braggin lol i pretty much have nothing to offer to a girl. i mean i'm not smart-more like avg. i mean what do i really have to offer. my social skills are like the worst. i rreally wonder who and what kind of girl would even want me for their bf after 3 or even 2 dates mind hang out with me. i caught some gals glancing at me-probably b/c i am attractive guy- i think i am yea they'll date me and all but once they get to now the real me -i bet most gals would dump me. and once she find out how controlling my folks are of this and that and everything she'll just dump me. but the thing i have to think is i better start dating and getting gfs b/c once i get older and less attractive then that make it even even harder to get a gal unless i am married by then-hopefully.
lissab113 Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 wow, it really sounds like you need a self-esteem boost. The things that you say you don't have are all things that can be fixed if you really want. However, you should only fix them for you, not so some chick will like you. Like yourself first and they'll flock to you.
Jennifer1234 Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 money, smarts- -thats all crap - -are yo0u nice? are yougood to your family? are you respectaable and respectful? THOSE are the traits that are important - -it doesnt help to be hot, rich, sexy nad young, but the average joe- - and we are ALL average joe's - - arent. be true to you, your values and morals adn the rest will come. i bet there is a girl out there feeling the same way- - it used to be me- - but you get over waiting for someone to come along and fill you up or validate you - -put yourself first and do unto others and the rest will fall into place. chill......
Papillon Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Get a job, buy a car, improve your social skills. You're listing all the things that are breaking down your self-esteem, so do something about it, dangit. You're halfway there!
YellowLioness Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Joel, you remind me of my friend Tim. Tim is also asian (he's Korean) and his parents are also very controlling. You have to take charge of your own life. Get a job, buy a car, improve your social skills. You're listing all the things that are breaking down your self-esteem, so do something about it, dangit. You're halfway there! Pap's totally right. You HAVE to just yank control back from your rents. Go get a job, live at home and work, and save for a car. Then, you can also save for an apartment. I mean...take baby steps, but eventually you will be out on your own. As for the social skills, again, your parents don't help that situation by their well meaning controlling of you. If you want to make friends, get involved in something. You could be a tech for your local theater (usually, theater people are really cool), you could get involved in a local base ball team, whatever you like. I mean...you can change all of this stuff. Good luck to you!
tokyo Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 You need more self-confidence I´m really like you, not that bad, but I often feel the same. I worry how I look, I worry if I´m smart, I worry if I´m really a nice person, I worry if I don´t look too self-confident, because what will happen if people know I´m totally insecure? I worry if I don´t appear to infantile, if I talk too much, talk too little, I worry about getting old and not finding someone, I worry that I only attract superficial guys who will break my heart, I worry that I will end with a dull job. I feel like an actress sometimes and I´m afraid that one day someone will notice I´m not really smart and boring and insecure and I will get old and ugly and then nobody will like me anymore. I worry and I worry and I worry. I tell you something, I worry so much, because I don´t have real problems and am not busy enough! I never worry about all this crap when I´m doing something interesting and having fun. Try to get a job, set some goals, make a plan how to achieve then and you will worry less. If you think you are not smart enough try to learn more, do something against it. You have to stop analyzing yourself all the time, it will drive you nuts and you are wasting time that you could use to solve your true problems. I think what really counts is self-conficence, if you trust in yourself you will be able to achieve more, because you won´t spend your time worrying what others think about you. I know people who are true ****heads, but they get what they want, because they don´t care what other people think about them. I don´t want to promote reckless behavior, but love yourself a little more and worry less about other people. I like guys who think positive and are self-confident without being arrogant. I really get weak when I meet them
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