Ducklover Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My ex has moved in with someone else after 3 weeks of us breaking up after 5 years... Is it going to work between him and this girl?! She's 4 years older than us!! But I need to know... Also why is he still texting me saying he wants me back when he's with her?! I've asked him to leave me alone and he said he will but I still want to be with him. I don't know what to do.... Please help!!!
UStoUK Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I think this is pretty simple. If you want him back in your life and he's willing to be back with you, get rid of the other girl. You have a past with him, if he's important to you, keep him close. Go get your man back
WhatYouWantToHear Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Sounds like a lesson you need to learn the hard way, so, take him back. Then when you are in a similiar situation like this again (with him or anyone else) remember how you fell now, how you went the easy way out and got back together, and how ultimately you hurt you more in the long run and wasted so much time. 2
will1988 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 He monkey branched into this other relationship. How long had he known her/dated/screwed her before you two broke up? If he knew her for a while and was on the verge of being homeless I could understand why he moved in with her... does that mean I condone it? no, but it means I understand it. However, if this is someone he has just met then I must say he is moving way too fast, and she must be desperate. But it is his and her life now. You two are broken up, so you need to stop thinking in terms of "we", and just think of "me" and "him" as seperate entities. Now that we've gotten that out of the way, there is really know way of knowing how long your ex and his new GF's relationship will last... for all you know they could get married and grow old together, or they could be breaking up right now as I type this. You never know. However, judging by his actions I'd say a few months to a year. After the honeymoon phase draws to an end and your ex starts wanting other women again or drives his new GF up the wall and she kicks him out. So my best guess is a few months to a year tops. However, you never know. But you shouldn't think of that. You should be trying to get over this guy, and moving on with your life. You should not take him back. You two broke up for a reason. You need to focus on your life now. Good luck! 1
Author Ducklover Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I gave him the chance to be with me last week... And he carried on meeting this other girl too. I'm at a loose end. He text me saying is this what I really want and not to do anything stupid,whatever that means?! I'm rubbish at getting over people. I'm not strong enough to ignore his messages
TaraMaiden Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yesa you are. Of course you are. it's a simple choice. Look at how you are feeling right now. Really think of how you feel, physically, mentally, emotionally.... in a mess, right? Okay, well now read: "I am going to actively choose to carry on feeling this way for a long time. I'm going to put my life on hold, and be at his beck and call, answer every phone call, text or email, in order to carry on and perpetuate this feeling of despair, grief, overwhelming sadness and bewilderment, because that's what I want to do." But read this too: "I am going to actively choose to NOT carry on feeling this way from this moment on. I'm going to go on with my life, totally ignore his every beck and call, deny and refuse, block and ignore every phone call, text or email, in order to carry on and eliminate, reduce and ultimately destroy these feelings of despair, grief, overwhelming sadness and bewilderment, because that's what I want to do." Now? Decide which of these two is most appealing. And go for it. Don't be a wimp. You don't need to be strong - you just need to come here, instead of running after him. 1
will1988 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 To me it seems like he wants you both... if you give in to him he will hurt you again.
Author Ducklover Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I'm worried as he took years to get over his ex. I can't bare the thought of him being with her and begging for me back. Where's the logic in that. I am trying my best to get on with my life and ignore him. But I worry he will only carry on
TaraMaiden Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Your place is not to worry about him. He doesn't deserve your concern. What you need to do every time he pops into your head is to remember one very vital, crucial bit of information: "He is none of my business, I don't need to worry about him any more." Who gives a schytt what he does now? You shouldn't that's for sure. I wish you'd stop making allowances for him and pitying him. he's a crap deal, and you don't need to have him on your mind. Stop being feeble and get a grip, hun....
Author Ducklover Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I can't stop thinking about what if they work out?! He spends every night with her. He couldn't do that with me! Yet he claims to love me. What did I do so wrong? What do I do if he contacts me? Will he contact me again?
TaraMaiden Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I can't stop thinking about what if they work out?! He spends every night with her. He couldn't do that with me! Yet he claims to love me. What did I do so wrong? What do I do if he contacts me? Will he contact me again? STOP!! Stop, stop STOP - !! You did nothing wrong. He's a manipulative player and a cake-eater. he wants the best of both worlds. HAVE YOU READ THE NO CONTACT GUIDE - ?? Answer me that..... I suspect, the answer is 'no' because otherwise you wouldn't be asking these questions. That to me smacks of someone who wants to play into the drama, and NOT move on, heal and recoup their life.... Am I right? Prove me wrong....
Author Ducklover Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 No I haven't... Where cAn I find it?? I haven't once contacted him first. He always texts me
TaraMaiden Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 See my post #6 - it's in my signature, The updated 2013 Guide....
Samilia Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 My ex has moved in with someone else after 3 weeks of us breaking up after 5 years... Is it going to work between him and this girl?! She's 4 years older than us!! But I need to know... Also why is he still texting me saying he wants me back when he's with her?! I've asked him to leave me alone and he said he will but I still want to be with him. I don't know what to do.... Please help!!! I try to find empathy in my heart, I just can't find it. While I understand you have feeling for him, I don't understand why you want to stay in that situation. The guy spends his nights with her, eat with her, live with her. Not with you. When he calls, don't pick up. I'd block the guy from contacting me all together. You're the other woman now, you accept his breadcrumbs like a grateful little puppy. What kind of respect do you show yourself, what do you think he sees in you when you behave that way? But by all means, if you're one of those people who need to learn the hard way, please continue.
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