anabelle Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 My ex broke up with me when I least expected it a year ago stating silly reasons. His personality changed in the space of a few weeks from my knight in shining armour to a mean, angry stranger who would erupt for no reason. There were problems in the bedroom but I thought we could sort them out together... He left me out of the blue not giving me a chance to talk even though two days earlier he was telling me how much he loved me and talked of our future together. When he was breaking up with me he asked if I wanted to be friends and showed me his phone but I said no contact... After I got over the shock I called him the next day to talk and he wouldn't take my calls. And he never contacted me since. I ran into him today after a whole year of silence...and we talked in a friendly way just like old times just like we used to. We spoke for quite a long time. He held my gaze many times throughout the conversation with a sweetness shining in his eyes and a sweet smile...it was as if we were both connecting remembering the good times... I do still love him, I never stopped. But realised he has a lot of problems, both physically...and emotionally. He also proved how mean and cold he could be... I feel my emotions have been stirred. I felt I had moved on and now I wish it could have been different... I am also worried he may contact me. I love him but I don't want him after everything he put me through. I am worried I won't be so strong if he contacts me...I would never contact him. But I felt that connection that is so rare...and so much affection. I actually like him as a person too. I am also attracted to him even though there are others that are repulsed by his weight. I haven't felt that connection, affection, likability, chemistry and attraction with any man since him. I find it difficult to meet men I like with all these elements being met and I am worried I may never feel like this again. My mind says not to go back but my heart secretly wishes to. I am strong enough to go with my head...but I am worried I may regret it. What if he is the one and I throw away an opportunity to be with a man I love...what if I never meet anyone else and I remain alone...What if I try it out and he hurts me all over again... I'd like to be prepared in case he tries to come back. I don't know what I should do 'just in case' he tries to come back. He looked sad and wistful when i left him today.He looked like he was full of regret and he looked like he still loved me...it was in his eyes. He wanted me to stay longer and asked me to drop in and see him again. I will definately see him again because I have to pass by where he is two more times... He may even say something when he sees me next time. He may call wanting me back. Then again he may never call at all... There was one strange thing he said. We were supposed to go on holiday to our homeland together last year in october because thats the only time he could get off work. I told him if he wasn't coming with me I'd have left straight away and gone for 3 weeks. When he broke up with me he'd have known I would have gone to our homeland for the holiday straight away for three weeks. The strange thing he said was that he went to our homeland for a holiday for 10 days while I was there. That meant he was there while I was and his flight back was the same date and time as mine! We arrived back together not knowing it. That meant he knew I was there at that time cos he figured out the math. He told me he went to the same town as me and stayed with a relative of his that he knew for a fact lived afew roads away from my mums house, and frequented the tourist area I was frequenting every night! I certainly wouldn't have expected to see him there so i wasn't looking out for him..so i didn't see him. For all i know he may have seen me but whats so strange is why he did that, took time of work when he supposedly couldn't, came where he knew i was very likely to be yet didn't contact me at all. I was quite shocked when he told me about that holiday he took last year...I still cannot fathom it...and I am still in shock from it.
chubachoop Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 I know how you feel. I saw my ex for the first time in a year. Ive never felt the closeness i felt with him with any guy since. I was wondering should I go back to him.... Like your ex he has many good things BUT he is an angry and aggressive man, he drinks too much, hes imature....... You are worried this guy is the one, I was too but then when you think about it, if he were the one would he have the bad qualities you describe? I dont think so. Maybe he has some qualities "the one" would have but he alos has some qualities "the one" wouldnt have. If you were to go back to your ex you would be settling for less than perfect and I dont think anyone should do that. You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy and treats you with the love and respect you deserve, dont give up till you find him. Good luck
pixie2004 Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 An ex is an ex. I still LIKE my ex, but I don't LOVE him anymore. Don't give in... Be Strong You deserve better. I did not work out the first time - why should it this time then?
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