ChessPieceFace Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 People who fail at dating (usually because of psychological issues or a failure to develop interpersonal skills) seek to justify their failure by thinking there must be some sort of algorithm of which they are unaware that is the secret to dating. They spend a vast amount of time searching for this non-existent algorithm rather than doing the hard work of identifying and rectifying their specific personal problems. Not being an arrogant jerk & not abusing females & not having a desire to stick your tool into any convenient hole is not a "personal problem."
Author El Brujo Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Yeah.. only, you don't have the slightest clue on how to get a woman. So why take advice from you? OTOH let's hear about the wonderful women you've nabbed??? I went to a meetup 2 nights ago, where I talked to plenty of women. All of your bragging online doesn't mean a thing IRL, so if you really want to hurt my feelings, you need to try harder.
Revolver Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 You pretty much have 2 choices as a dude 1. Be yourself don't change anything about you and hope someone just comes along and loves you for who you are 2. Understand the dating game and its rules and try to improve yourself based of that
Jefezen Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 There are a lot of arrogant self-proclaimed "ladies men" and female pop psychology experts who claim to know the precise formula for succeeding in romance and seduction. While their guidelines may work for many people, the reality is that we're ultimately all individuals, in individual situations, who respond to individual circumstances in individual ways. There can never be a hard and fast rule to anything, more like a common sense guideline. Look at the world in which we live. There are 7 billion of us. Obviously people have been getting together since well before the proliferation of dating rules, web forums, and the written word itself. When you visit a shopping center, or walk down the neighborhood street, you see scores of couples together, each with their own stories of how they got together, many under a variety of circumstances that don't fit into the simplistic rubrics of popular dating rules. Some women were chased endlessly and eventually fell for their pursuer (this happened with my parents). Some women only regarded their man as a friend and then over time it developed into more (this happened with two of my cousins). The variations, the possible avenues for achieving one's goal (in anything, not just romance) are diverse, vast, and endless. Plenty of people, probably the vast majority of the world population, manage to find significant others without ever consulting anything or anyone. They just follow their instincts. They go for what they want. Sometimes they'll fail at it, sometimes they'll succeed. Nothing is accomplished by remaining passive. Nothing is accomplished by completely disregarding our romantic impulses out of rigid adherence to rules written by those in environments and situations that may differ substantially from those of our own. I don't think people come to these forums really looking for honest advice. Some come here out of desperation, to seek catharsis. Others come here to feel better about themselves, either to arrogantly look down upon those with less success as a form of self-validation, or to seek the company of others similarly situated. It helps to know that others struggle. It helps to know that others have experienced the vicissitudes of romance. There's a measure of comfort in seeing other people confront the same questions. But how many people come here to share their success stories? Very few. Those who are successful feel no need to come here at all because there's no need to channel one's emotions when gleeful. That's the problem with some of these rules. We may never possess an accurate sampling of what works and doesn't work, because we generally only learn about the misses and not the hits. The people who succeeded with texting 5 mintues after a first date, or with persisting after someone had seemed to be losing interest, are in a state of euphoria and do not feel compelled to share their stories on an internet forum. They're happy. They don't need an outlet for their frustration. They don't need to seek advice from the gurus. They don't want to brag about their conquests on a forum where most people are feeling miserable. Consequently, the rules are fastened almost exclusively around the anecdotes of the defeated (or the perceived defeated), even though many of the victors may have utilized the same allegedly failed techniques to achieve their positive outcome. 2
AlexDP Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 OTOH let's hear about the wonderful women you've nabbed??? I went to a meetup 2 nights ago, where I talked to plenty of women. All of your bragging online doesn't mean a thing IRL, so if you really want to hurt my feelings, you need to try harder. I have a girlfriend. She has been my girlfriend for over a year and a half by now. And I've had girlfriends before her. Why do you insist that it is impossible to get women? It is as if your mind refuses to register that there are couples everywhere around you.
AlexDP Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 You pretty much have 2 choices as a dude 1. Be yourself don't change anything about you and hope someone just comes along and loves you for who you are 2. Understand the dating game and its rules and try to improve yourself based of that It is like weightlifting in a sense. 3 sets of 10 reps is never ideal. Ideal is knowing yourself and understanding when and how the up the tempo and when to back down. It's just that 3 sets of 10 reps is excellent for beginners and gives you a fair shot at success. People who aren't good with women should follow some ground rules, because they lack the instinct and knowledge to do better than those rules.
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