El Brujo Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I have this image of my mind of a bunch of suave studs who know how to BS others into doing anything... they appoint themselves to be authorities on what the rest of us should want and what we should do. "C'mere, Junior, I'll teach ya how ta handle babes..." The gurus of dating... NOT!!! I'm not angry or jealous (yeah right, why would I be jealous of a BSer?), I just get a good laugh out of how phony these dating rule-makers are, and how others eat it right up. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I have this image of my mind of a bunch of suave studs who know how to BS others into doing anything... they appoint themselves to be authorities on what the rest of us should want and what we should do. "C'mere, Junior, I'll teach ya how ta handle babes..." The gurus of dating... NOT!!! I'm not angry or jealous (yeah right, why would I be jealous of a BSer?), I just get a good laugh out of how phony these dating rule-makers are, and how others eat it right up. Those at the top of the food chain make up the rules. Those on the bottom can play along or die alone.
AlexDP Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I have this image of my mind of a bunch of suave studs who know how to BS others into doing anything... they appoint themselves to be authorities on what the rest of us should want and what we should do. "C'mere, Junior, I'll teach ya how ta handle babes..." The gurus of dating... NOT!!! I'm not angry or jealous (yeah right, why would I be jealous of a BSer?), I just get a good laugh out of how phony these dating rule-makers are, and how others eat it right up. The only thing that matters is success. They have it, you don't. I find your arrogance remarkable.
irc333 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 The only thing that matters is success. They have it, you don't. So they SAY they have success. 1
Disillusioned Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Chicken-and-egg answer, my sorcerer friend. Did those individuals "succeed" first and then make up the rules, or vice versa? Anyone can be as successful as they want to be online, just as irc333 points out.
AlexDP Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Chicken-and-egg answer, my sorcerer friend. Did those individuals "succeed" first and then make up the rules, or vice versa? Anyone can be as successful as they want to be online, just as irc333 points out. Why be so resistant against advice if what you're doing CLEARLY isn't working? You guys are not getting laid, you don't have meaningful relationships with women and you're miserable even if you try to claim you're not. Why on Earth would you think you know it all? Why do you need to hear: yeah, you're right, you really know women, when you OBVIOUSLY don't? 2
Disillusioned Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You guys are not getting laid, Getting laid is for bricks, eggs, and flooring. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 A tribunal of experts. Appointed via nepotism, corruption, and outright bribery.
Imported Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Nobody is making up rules for you. You can do what you want. People have laid out what works for them though and it may work for you. Or not. Some things are universal, across the board and knowing this can help you from trying to re-invent the wheel.
AlexDP Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Getting laid is for bricks, eggs, and flooring. It's not for you, that's for sure. 1
StanMusial Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 (edited) So they SAY they have success. I have known a few so-called "ladies men" that never seemed to have a girl friend or any women around them. You have to take them with a grain of salt. I just thought of an analogy. I know a guy at work that seems really sharp, always speaking up in meetings and throwing out ideas and seeming to be really on the ball. But if I gave him a list of 10 tasks due by Friday, on Monday morning he would provide me with an elegant, elaborate essay on why none of the tasks were completed. Edited January 22, 2013 by StanMusial
Author El Brujo Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 Let's see your wonderful dating advice. My advice is to listen to this guy: Nobody is making up rules for you. You can do what you want. People have laid out what works for them though and it may work for you. Or not. Some things are universal, across the board and knowing this can help you from trying to re-invent the wheel.
MrCastle Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Serious answer: Social constructs and the study of human behavior. We're much more aware as a society nowadays, and we've figured out, through trial and error, what kind of stuff works on most people. We know what men respond to, we know what women respond to. Of course they are generalizations and every individual is different, but if you play by the rules put in place, you will have a statistical edge. There is some truth behind the chicken and egg theory. Are we responding to these rules because we're told that's what the rules are? Who knows. It really depends on how you want to look at it. But I think you do need to play by the rules to an extent if you want to get somewhere. For example, if a girl gives you her number and you two go your separate ways, it's probably not a good idea to text her 5 minutes after you guys split. Some women may think you are super into them, and would appreciate you texting them so soon, but I'm sure most would say "whoa, I just walked away from him 5 minutes ago, he's already texting me? clingy." It would be better to follow the rule of texting/calling them a day or so after getting it, so as not to appear clingy. That's just one of many examples but the bottom line is, doesn't matter who created the rules, there are rules, and if you want success, you're better off following them. 1
fishtaco Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 That's just one of many examples but the bottom line is, doesn't matter who created the rules, there are rules, and if you want success, you're better off following them. Yup. That's how it is. Who knows how these dating rules came about? Who decides what style of haircut is cool and what style is not? Who decided skinny jeans look cool and even men can wear them? Who knows? But if you know what the rules are, playing by the rules will make your life easier. You can always be a rebel hipster and do things your own way. Then if you happen to be extremely talented or lucky, you'll be the bad-ass pioneer, and you win. Most average persons, like me, will just crash and burn. I highly recommend sticking with the rules unless you know exactly what you're doing.
Mr_Flay Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 But I think you do need to play by the rules to an extent if you want to get somewhere. For example, if a girl gives you her number and you two go your separate ways, it's probably not a good idea to text her 5 minutes after you guys split. Some women may think you are super into them, and would appreciate you texting them so soon, but I'm sure most would say "whoa, I just walked away from him 5 minutes ago, he's already texting me? clingy." It would be better to follow the rule of texting/calling them a day or so after getting it, so as not to appear clingy. I am armed several examples – both mine and those of my friends – enough to confidently call BS on that. Consider: a girl is very nervous on that first date. The guy leaves, and she spents agonising minutes worrying whether he likes her from what he saw on the date. Then, five minutes later, the following message arrives: "I had a great time with you, and I love the way you laugh." She will melt, guaranteed. I did that after one of my first dates (it didn't work out later due to complications with her ex), and it morphed into a three-hour phone conversation before bed. Real people don't pay attention to stupid rules, they say how they feel and never hesitate to show they like someone. If you have to play by some strict rules, there's something wrong. Following rules only makes you look uptight and like a player. Also with my only LTR girlfriend: not, in retrospect, I made dozens of "mistakes" and "blunders" that PUA sites strongly advise against, yet it didn't hurt my chances in the slightest. From messaging early, saying she's pretty, being a little nervous, etc. Bottom line, if you're into each, other, rules can only hurt you. 2
MrCastle Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 I am armed several examples – both mine and those of my friends – enough to confidently call BS on that. Consider: a girl is very nervous on that first date. The guy leaves, and she spents agonising minutes worrying whether he likes her from what he saw on the date. Then, five minutes later, the following message arrives: "I had a great time with you, and I love the way you laugh." She will melt, guaranteed. I did that after one of my first dates (it didn't work out later due to complications with her ex), and it morphed into a three-hour phone conversation before bed. Real people don't pay attention to stupid rules, they say how they feel and never hesitate to show they like someone. If you have to play by some strict rules, there's something wrong. Following rules only makes you look uptight and like a player. Also with my only LTR girlfriend: not, in retrospect, I made dozens of "mistakes" and "blunders" that PUA sites strongly advise against, yet it didn't hurt my chances in the slightest. From messaging early, saying she's pretty, being a little nervous, etc. Bottom line, if you're into each, other, rules can only hurt you. Just because you've used anecdotal exceptions to the rule doesn't mean the rules don't work/shouldn't be used. A broken clock is right twice a day.
Mr_Flay Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Just because you've used anecdotal exceptions to the rule doesn't mean the rules don't work/shouldn't be used. A broken clock is right twice a day. Let's put it this way: if you liked a girl, would you hold it against her if she called you "too soon" or if she said she really liked you?
MrCastle Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Let's put it this way: if you liked a girl, would you hold it against her if she called you "too soon" or if she said she really liked you? I do think once attraction is firmly in place and you're familiar with a person's likes and dislikes, things change. Obviously a couple who have been exclusive for a year don't have to play by any rules. I was more so talking about going about finding dates to begin with. Before you've even developed chemistry. In order to create chemistry, I do think you need to play by certain rules. Another example is dress. It's widely believed women like men who dress sharp. Not necessarily designer threads, but men who just know how to dress. Does that mean you can't dress sloppy? Of course not, you may very well find a girl who likes you regardless of how badly you dress, but dressing sharp (playing by those rules) will cast a wider net and give you access to a bigger group of women.
EasyHeart Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 There are no "rules" of dating. The overwhelming number of people in the world date and mate without any problem. And without worrying about rules. People who fail at dating (usually because of psychological issues or a failure to develop interpersonal skills) seek to justify their failure by thinking there must be some sort of algorithm of which they are unaware that is the secret to dating. They spend a vast amount of time searching for this non-existent algorithm rather than doing the hard work of identifying and rectifying their specific personal problems. 3
irc333 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 There are no "rules" of dating. The overwhelming number of people in the world date and mate without any problem. And without worrying about rules. This....you'd be surprised how many people coupled up and never even gave any kind of RULES a thought when they were first dating. Funny, these current couples would be asked of their 'how we met" stories, and they would give such simple responses without any worry of, "Should I wait a week before calling?"
headysurrealist Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Sticking by some dating rules or indeed any detailed rules in a relationships is terrible. People are reading too many how-to articles, magazines, forums, telling them "what do men like", "what do women like". One of the most terrible things that have happened to me is saying "I dont like blowjobs that much, if the girl likes it, fine, but I wouldnt ask for one", to which the girl (my current gf, I have a thread about her) responded with a huge shock "this is very unusual, very strange, etc. etc." This and other stuff too, like expecting people to kiss on date number "n", to have sex on date number "m" is just terrible, and people relying on such stuff are obviously not in touch with their own emotions and preferences...just follow your inner feeling, the way you feel about the other person and be true to yourself...no need to play by some rules and conceal what you really want to do... OK, there are some principles for me, not really rules, like dont cheat, dont lie, always think before saying something in order to avoid hurting the other person, but thats about it, I hope you get what I mean...
irc333 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 This and other stuff too, like expecting people to kiss on date number "n", Yeah, I know of this guy who has a standing RULE that kissing on a first date with ANY woman IS a MUST if you're interested in seeing her again for a 2nd date. That if she doesn't kiss you back on a first date, time to continue dating.
Author El Brujo Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 Whether the rule-makers like it or not, the times are changing, as they have always been. Few men today would go out and crack a woman over the head with a wooden club and drag her back to his cave by her hair, but some LSers seem to have a secret wish they could do just that. This is 2013!!! Wake up!!! Open your eyes!!! 1
AlexDP Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Whether the rule-makers like it or not, the times are changing, as they have always been. Few men today would go out and crack a woman over the head with a wooden club and drag her back to his cave by her hair, but some LSers seem to have a secret wish they could do just that. This is 2013!!! Wake up!!! Open your eyes!!! Yeah.. only, you don't have the slightest clue on how to get a woman. So why take advice from you?
Recommended Posts