unluckyinlove4 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Then you're wrong. That's not NEARLY good enough. Just being friendly and gregarious. Not just for romantic relationships but really for anything in life. People want what you can give them, and a smile and friendly demeanor is never enough. Weird...I may have a lot of trouble finding a man, but I don't have trouble finding friends...and I have tons of them all over the world. I think being friendly and gregarious goes a long way in my experience. When I'm feeling happy and bubbly, people are attracted to me (in a friendly way).
Feelin Frisky Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I consider that kind of complaining to be either a negative obsessive one that is unhealthful to have or a way of excusing or letting one's self off the hook from trying. I don't think gender roles are that set in stone. Some women will gel with your personality and sense of humor and other might take a disliking to you for reasons you can't fathom. It's just how it is. When you find someone that responds favorably to your sense of humor and better yet, has one of her own that surprises you with greatly timed wit, don't take it for granted that you'll meet another. 1
DC4 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Damn, how many of these threads are we going to have. Yes women have it easier. Just accept it and move on. Come back to me when you're in your 40s.
2sure Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Easier? No. I got implants and learned to white water kayak. One is invasive surgery and the other is dangerous. Im laughing, but both are true. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Funny. My wife hit on me first and she also eventually proposed to me. I didn't even have to lift a finger. Work? Nah...easiest thing I've ever done in my life. 1
xxoo Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 People go after what they want. If you want women to go after you, you need to make them want you. If you want a woman, she's already managed that part somehow! 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 OP, your question is overly simplified. It isn't that women have it easier or better or don't have to work. It's that we have to work at different things then men are expected to work at. But guess what? there are a lot more women, now then ever, that aren't looking for traditional relationships. If you want a woman that pursues you, then look for and put yourself in situations with more non-traditional and take-charge women. Just realize that what you are seeking is traditionally more of a masculine energy and that that woman might have other more masculine energies. This does not mean that she isn't feminine and sexy. It just means that usually people are composites of masculine and feminine energy and some people have more of one than the other and that can happen in all kinds of unique combinations. There is no point in finding issue with those that might prefer more traditional relationshps. Or being angry at women that don't want to pursue a guy aggressiely. It's all about finding someone that works with your needs. I personally don't have the personality type to aggresively chase after a guy. That's not me. But it does work well for other women.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It's a man's job to take control and "be a man". Women almost universally find that attractive. That's why you need to do "all the work".
pbjbear Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 When it comes to attracting mates, the onus is on men to be witty, to be charming, to make her laugh and to be chivalrous. Women don't need any of these attributes when it comes to meeting men; they simply have to sit there and talk. It's men who need to show women a good time; the converse doesn't apply. I guess that's why there are more disgruntled men in the dating game than there are women. I dont think so. I have alot of male friends (higher quality ones) that stop talking to women because of personality. But most men today are low quality, and are just after some a** so thats why they dont care they just sit there and talk. Really, they just need to be hot. Also, every single time I have put in some decent effort to maintain a guy's interest, he was never that interested in me. Biology does matter- men are wired to be hunters. Every guy I have "hunted" strung me along because no guy will say no to the attention/sex 1
MyPoutine Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I see two very strange ideas here: 1. All women sit around doing nothing in a relationship while men slave away for thier every need. 2. Majority of the women in the world are above-average super models who are shallow and only interested in 9/10 Alpha males. If you go for "entitled, high maintenance" that's what you'll get regardless of gender, but most average women don't behave in that way and are willing to compromise and meet your efforts. Even women with traditional values not the same as simply "sitting around expecting to be served" have other things they contribute to the relationship, go for what you want, if you want non-traditional find that. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I dont think so. I have alot of male friends (higher quality ones) that stop talking to women because of personality. But most men today are low quality, and are just after some a** so thats why they dont care they just sit there and talk. Really, they just need to be hot. Also, every single time I have put in some decent effort to maintain a guy's interest, he was never that interested in me. Biology does matter- men are wired to be hunters. Every guy I have "hunted" strung me along because no guy will say no to the attention/sex This. All of it. If a man doesn't hunt, he's either not interested or he's just not a go-getter hunter type. That's not the type of guy women want to date. Nor should they want to date. 1
pbjbear Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 This. All of it. If a man doesn't hunt, he's either not interested or he's just not a go-getter hunter type. That's not the type of guy women want to date. Nor should they want to date. Some guys arent the go-getter type. And theres nothing wrong with that. I wouldnt have an issue dating someone with this personality. Maybe I had bad luck but NONE of them reciprocated my feelings. I went ahead and hunted because I thought "oh he doesnt have alot of dating experience, he doesnt know what hes doing" or "oh hes just shy" nope...all strung me along. And why wouldnt they? They prob dont get that much female attention so when they do get it, they will string you along even if they dont really like you. read Hes Just Not That Into You. I dont agree with everything in that book, but I agree when a guy is interested in you he will do some of the chasing
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Some guys arent the go-getter type. And theres nothing wrong with that. I wouldnt have an issue dating someone with this personality. Maybe I had bad luck but NONE of them reciprocated my feelings. I went ahead and hunted because I thought "oh he doesnt have alot of dating experience, he doesnt know what hes doing" or "oh hes just shy" nope...all strung me along. And why wouldnt they? They prob dont get that much female attention so when they do get it, they will string you along even if they dont really like you. read Hes Just Not That Into You. I dont agree with everything in that book, but I agree when a guy is interested in you he will do some of the chasing It's likely you probably never noticed the non-go getter types who were interested in you. These guys are often too shy to even say anything more than hello to most women. So the guys who didn't reciprocate your feelings were actually just the ones who weren't interested.
aussietigerwolf Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I'm interested in a short guy whom I find cute and I plan to ask him out. The only work he needs to do Is be himself
Drseussgrrl Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah I don't get this either. In my day to day life I just see mostly regular-looking people getting together with other regular-looking people and having normal relationships. Both people have jobs. I certainly don't see the dudes jumping to every whim of their woman and getting nothing in return. This is just silly. I'll say it again - who are you people interacting with to come up with this garbage? My guess is - you're spending too much time on the internet over analyzing and internalizing everything to death and not enough time in the real world doing fun, real things and making in-the-flesh relationships. 1
Treasa Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Funny. My wife hit on me first and she also eventually proposed to me. I didn't even have to lift a finger. Work? Nah...easiest thing I've ever done in my life. Someday my boyfriend is going to be posting here saying the same thing about me. To be fair, though, after I initiated things, he start pursuing me pretty heavily.
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Someday my boyfriend is going to be posting here saying the same thing about me. To be fair, though, after I initiated things, he start pursuing me pretty heavily. Eh, once a guy gets a green light, it's pretty easy to go. For me, all I see are flashing red lights. Proceed with extreme caution.
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