skyecko Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My girlfriend is confusing me! (Title got cut during post) My girlfriend and I were together for a month. During this time we texted and talked constantly and everything was perfect. She has two kids and is starting a divorce. Kids love me. My girlfriend went on a company trip to Las Vegas. While she was there I asked her if she had been drinking or if her ex-husband (works for same company) was there. For the next 3 days she ignored me. When she came back from her trip I went to her house but she was emotionally/physically distant from me. We got in an argument and she accused me of not trusting her. She said I was "suffocating" and "controlling" and she needed space. When I got home she text me that she wants things to work out long time but she fears her ex-husband is watching her so she asked me not to come to her house again. She says that she wants to do the right thing so we can be together. That she doesn't want our relationship to "break" in the short or long term because of things. I think she is basically saying to slow down. Since that time, she has become distant. She text me during during the morning and at bedtime. This has caused me to go crazy as we basically talked all day/night before she went on her trip. I feel our relationship will break because of the lack of communication. Communication is what brought us together but it seems she has taken that away. I feel lost and unsure where I stand with her. Because of the lack of communication I have become depressed and having suicidal thoughts; I cannot relax or sleep and yesterday I ate very little. I just want some assurance that things are fine between us and we are on the same page. Last night I sent her a text and told her that I think I understood what she was looking for and that I was on board with her and would make any changes neccessary to make things work. No reply. No goodnight. And so far no good morning iether. I feel like crap. I am confused and lonely. She talks alot. I talk alot. Now we talk little. What is going on???? UPDATE: --------- She called me this morning. She said she fell asleep watching her show last night; I suppose before I texted her. I felt awkward but I just tried to keep the conversation going. We didn't talk anything personal. Just about her work. I asked how the kids were. That was it. I didn't want to put any feelings into the conversation because last few days when I have she just seems to run away. I ended the conversation with her first saying that my boss needed me and I had to go but lets talk later. She said alright. I'm thinking she might be talking with me for a couple of reasons. One is that it is her day off and it is possible she could see me today. Two, she will get her period next couple of days and its possible she might want the option of having sex before she does. Otherwise the last few days have been a communication nightmare. I'm still not sure what this means but I'm just hoping it is a return to our normal relationship state. Or it could have been the text I sent last night. Opinions?
runningfar Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 She is starting a divorce and is not truly ready for a relationship and there is no way she should be getting involved with you before she learns to be alone. 1
veggirl Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 *starting* a divorce? you are her rebound. you have dated for a MONTH and you have "suicidal thoughts" over her?!?! dude! get a gripppp. she ignored you for 3 days, why??? probably because she'd been spending time with her husband when they were in Vegas and was dealing with the thoughts/feelings she was having after that. she is lying when she says she is scared her ex is watching her house so you can't come over. what she meant was, he comes over sometimes and they spend time together and she doesn't want to risk you guys running into each other. stop dating a woman who is "starting" a divorce. tell her to call you when she IS divorced. 8
sabre80 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My girlfriend is confusing me! (Title got cut during post) My girlfriend and I were together for a month. During this time we texted and talked constantly and everything was perfect. She has two kids and is starting a divorce. Kids love me. I stopped reading after this line. No more information needed. Still married! Introduced you to kids after only a month Introduced you to kids while STILL MARRIED She is completely inconsiderate of her kids and their healing process. Oh yea and she is still married. Do not walk, run to your nearest exit stage whatever the hell is closer! 3
Author skyecko Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 VegGirl, I know you are probably right on many things. My issue is that I am concerned if I leave her alone then I will lose my opportunity later. This is the first girl in 10 years that I actually hit it off really well. I mean really well. Despite me being an emotional sensitive guy with some bagage she has accepted me anyway. The major barriers I know of have already been addressed. I know it sounds crazy but we already talked "what if" on marriage. When were together is seems like she is my best friend and were like kids again. But being Hispanic her only downside is that she gets angry quick sometimes before she has all the information. But the list of positive things are much greater than the few negative items. I know her and I moved really fast. She even admits that. It's because we hit it off so well. Now I do suspect sometimes that I am a rebound. Though she told me she hasnt felt feelings for her husband for some time now. But I am the first person she has been with since him. I know the timing isnt right but I wasn't trying to meet her and now that I have I don't want to lose her.
StarsOnFire Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 VegGirl, I know you are probably right on many things. My issue is that I am concerned if I leave her alone then I will lose my opportunity later. This is the first girl in 10 years that I actually hit it off really well. I mean really well. Despite me being an emotional sensitive guy with some bagage she has accepted me anyway. The major barriers I know of have already been addressed. I know it sounds crazy but we already talked "what if" on marriage. When were together is seems like she is my best friend and were like kids again. But being Hispanic her only downside is that she gets angry quick sometimes before she has all the information. But the list of positive things are much greater than the few negative items. I know her and I moved really fast. She even admits that. It's because we hit it off so well. Now I do suspect sometimes that I am a rebound. Though she told me she hasnt felt feelings for her husband for some time now. But I am the first person she has been with since him. I know the timing isnt right but I wasn't trying to meet her and now that I have I don't want to lose her. It's only been 1 month. You are idolizing her in your head, she hasn't accepted you, as she's specifically asked you to back off. Give her space, if you don't, you will no doubt continue to be the rebound.
Author skyecko Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah, I'm going to try giving her space although I'm not quite sure what that entails exactly. Too much space and it seems like I'm not interested; too little and she will get annoyed with me. I think I should cut down on text and wait for her to call me. We have been non-stop since we met and now maybe she just wants to breathe and slow down a bit. I think I also need to stay away from talking about any kinds of feelings as past few days she just seems to dissapear if I get touchy-feely at all. She has called twice today which is better than the last week; and she said she would call again once she got out of church. If she does that will make 3 times and that is something to feel good about. But I need to maintain things the right way from here on out.
StarsOnFire Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah, I'm going to try giving her space although I'm not quite sure what that entails exactly. Too much space and it seems like I'm not interested; too little and she will get annoyed with me. I think I should cut down on text and wait for her to call me. We have been non-stop since we met and now maybe she just wants to breathe and slow down a bit. I think I also need to stay away from talking about any kinds of feelings as past few days she just seems to dissapear if I get touchy-feely at all. She has called twice today which is better than the last week; and she said she would call again once she got out of church. If she does that will make 3 times and that is something to feel good about. But I need to maintain things the right way from here on out. I've been through a divorce and it's a ton of emotion involved. Even if she stopped loving him awhile ago. The process isn't fun, and there's lots of ups and downs, so don't take too personally. I'm sure you've helped her though a lot of the highs and lows, but now she's probably realizing she needs to find herself, and it's really something that is HARD to do while entering a new relationship. I think it's very smart of her to want to step back and calm things down. Especially so she can truly focus on her kids and their emotional needs at this time. I'm sure you're a good guy and that you genuinely care for her, but it is concerning that you thought about suicide over this relationship. That's never healthy in any relationship whether it's been 1 day or 100 years. Have you thought of counseling?
Author skyecko Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I went through a divorce in 97 when my ex cheated on me. However, the relationship was going downhill already and even though I cared for her I don't think I loved her at that point. I think probably I just didnt want to be alone and the whole thing was scary. I remember I was drinking a little during this timeframe; just abusing myself so I didn't have to think about things. In retrospect I am not sure why exactly; but maybe because we have two kids together and the whole splitting the family up seemed like the wrong thing to do. I have been around my girlfriend and I just don't get any vibes from her that she is in love with her ex. I think she might care and not wish him any ill-being; but she seems quite ok with the idea of not being with him. Even though this is the initial stage of divorce she does not appear to be in any trauma. She had talked it over with her Mom/Dad, and the kids and everyone is supportive of her decision. I really would like to understand what she is feeling so I could be more understanding. But she told me to let her handle things and not to worry about it. I told her I wanted to help her any way I could; even possibly help with money for the lawyer but she told me no. She doesn't want my help. She said it's something she needs to do for herself.
Author skyecko Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 So yesterday after many days of silence my girlfriend called me 3 times during the day. We talked about general things; nothing about feelings; or seeing one another; or why this or why that? I didn't mention her lack of text or calls the previous days. The conversations were fine. At one point she even said "I'm just going to see how long we can talk." - Because we do have the ability to talk it seems. Or rather, she has the ability to talk and I have the ability to listen and she mistakes that. But something is bothering me. When we started this relationship and before she went on her trip. Her texting was like clockwork. As soon as she woke up she text me first thing "Good Morning" -- And at exactly 10pm she would text me "Goodnight." -- Now she is not really doing this. We have gone several nights without saying goodnight; and sometimes she will wait until later in the morning to say good morning. There is also a huge noticeable difference in the amount of texting we do during the day. It just dropped off big time. Everything seems to have happened after her trip. I'm afraid to text her as I don't want to seem to needy. And because she said before that she felt like I was suffocating her; I don't want to take the chance to push her away (again). Yesterday she sent me a pic of her in Vegas standing next to someone wearing an Elf costume. I jokingly said "I would have to crop the Elf out of the picture" -- And she replied back "Why do you always have to be so negative? You don't know how to have fun." -- So now I am feeling like I can't be myself. And truth is I don't think that comment would have upset her before because I expressed my feelings about all kinds of things talking with her and she always let me be myself. It seems like she is taking a closer look at me to see if I am still worthy or something. I don't know if I should be concerned or not. I want up to have an open communication with her always because that is how we got together. But I need to feel that she accepts who I am 100% and is not judging me. Last night I sent her a text around 8pm saying that I was really proud of her because she had won some award. She didn't reply or say goodnight. Because of this I had difficulty sleeping last night. I tried to convince myself that she was just busy and not to take it personal. She did say she had to help her daughter study for a test and then she would go to her moms. But even this morning still no reply of any kind. I don't know if she has lost interest in me; or if she considers our relationship to be more secure and she is relaxing her efforts now. I almost feel like I am on "probation" with her; or even that she is entertaining the idea of someone else. All I know is her interaction with me seems to be dropping. And we haven't kissed; held hands; had sex since she came back from her trip. She did give me a hug. I want to go to her work and see her but I wonder if I do she will push me away and get angry that I came. Even though she was always glad to see me before. Any thoughts?
chrisftw Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 the fact that you talked 'every day' and 'every night' is what you did wrong first and formeost. i posted a thread on here about a girl i've known for several semesters who i'm about 85% sure she likes me. but her intrest grows more daily. because i keep conversations sparse. under 10 minutes. longest was 20 minutes but that's because she wouldn't let me get off the phone. and she was doing cute stuff. i couldn't resist staying on knowing i had to cut it short to save some of that for when we meet in person. ANYWAY i digressed.. the point i'm trying to make is i don't communicate with my woman 'every day' and 'every night' in fact its maybe twice a week and only for a short amount of time. if i call her and she doesn't pick up. i wait until she calls me and even then sometimes i won't pick up. usually i'm doing something that i could easily 'pause' but the phrase Absence makes the heart grow fonder. really speaks worlds when you're trying to build a relationship/interest level. and that's where you went wrong. once you've used up all the interest she had by being available ALL THE TIME. she probably just got bored with you honestly. you had nothing else going for you. AT ALL. hence also your 'suicidal thoughts' and sitting in some dark room not eating and staring at walls.
clia Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 It seems like she is taking a closer look at me to see if I am still worthy or something. Yeah, this is typically what happens when you've been dating someone for one month. You start getting over the initial butterflies and infatuation and start taking a closer look to see if you want to continue seeing the person. Last night I sent her a text around 8pm saying that I was really proud of her because she had won some award. She didn't reply or say goodnight. Because of this I had difficulty sleeping last night. I tried to convince myself that she was just busy and not to take it personal. She did say she had to help her daughter study for a test and then she would go to her moms. But even this morning still no reply of any kind. You've known her one month. 32 days ago you didn't even know her, and she is keeping you up at night because she didn't respond to a text? If the text was just a "I'm proud of you" there isn't even anything to respond to! You really need to detach yourself and take a step back. I almost feel like I am on "probation" with her; or even that she is entertaining the idea of someone else. You are on probation! You've only been dating a month! I want to go to her work and see her but I wonder if I do she will push me away and get angry that I came. Even though she was always glad to see me before. Any thoughts? Yeah, don't go to her work and stop being so needy and clingy. You are driving her away! 1
chrisftw Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 You've known her one month. 32 days ago you didn't even know her, and she is keeping you up at night because she didn't respond to a text? If the text was just a "I'm proud of you" there isn't even anything to respond to! You really need to detach yourself and take a step back. i've done this many times. send a text that can't really be replied to unless you really reach. or feel like sending some stupid emoticon or a 'thanks' which is a waste of text even if you have unlimited lol.
Author skyecko Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 Weird thing happened today. She had called me earlier today and in the course of the conversation I told her I had to make a delivery nearby her workplace and if she wanted I could drop by. So I called after I made the delivery and no answer. So I figured, ok don't call right away because it might make you look needy. So I went to her restaurant and sat in the parking lot. They were really busy and she is the manager. I waited to see if she called back. She didn't. After about 30 minutes I called again. No answer. I waited 10 minutes more to see if she called back. She didn't. So I assumed she was too busy to come out so I decided to leave. She called me 30 minutes after that when I got back to the office wanting to know why I called. I told her the same thing. She got a little upset saying why didn't you just come in for 5 minutes? Or come through the drive thru and say hello? You make me feel like you didn't want to see me! I told her no, not that; just that she looked really busy and I figured if she didnt answer her phone or call back then it wasn't a good time. She said even if she was busy I should have come in and she doesn't understand why I didn't. In fact, she says because I didn't come in she doubted whether I came at all. She said "How do I know you didnt call and just keep driving?" - I reasurred her that wasnt the case. That I had stopped by. I had waited. But just didn't come in. So she said she didn't know whether she should be mad or dissapointed or what. I told her I was sorry and that next time I would just come in. She really kept going over the same thing over and over like she wanted me to feel bad about it. Truth is because I have been feeling uncertain about our relationship I thought her not answering the phone was a sign that she didn't really want me to visit her. She kept telling me "I don't know what I'm going to do with you..." -- Kinda playful but kinda serious also. Even though things were the way they were I feel good knowing that she got angry for not seeing me. That felt good.
Author skyecko Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 On the previous post it could be that she is being more sentimental as her period starts tommorow. Not sure. Earlier when I talked with her I told her that I went out last night. She asked me where I went. I said "To a club" -- She replies: "That's great!" -- I said "Huh?, usually if someone goes to the club it could be only one thing; to pick up on someone." -- She says: "Depends on who you go with." -- Ok. This is not the first time she has said something like this. Last month my boss wanted to take me to the strip club and I told him no. I didn't want to risk starting out a new relationship with my girlfriend that way. Plus, I didn't want her to do the same to me. Anyway, she told me it was fine if I wanted to go; that I should go. I'm like "What?" -- She says "Yeah, I don't have a problem with you going; you should just go. I mean I go to La Bares!" -- I'm thinking geez you didn't just say that. Anyway, bottom like is she seems to be very open and not caring about me going out and actually encourages this? Why is this? Would't she be concerned I'm going to drink or meet some other girl?
clia Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 This is all so weird. Weird thing happened today. She had called me earlier today and in the course of the conversation I told her I had to make a delivery nearby her workplace and if she wanted I could drop by. What did she say when you said that? Did she say she wanted you to drop by? So I called after I made the delivery and no answer. So I figured, ok don't call right away because it might make you look needy. So I went to her restaurant and sat in the parking lot. They were really busy and she is the manager. I waited to see if she called back. She didn't. After about 30 minutes I called again. No answer. I waited 10 minutes more to see if she called back. She didn't. So I assumed she was too busy to come out so I decided to leave. So you sat in the parking lot for 40 minutes? Are you serious? She called me 30 minutes after that when I got back to the office wanting to know why I called. I told her the same thing. She got a little upset saying why didn't you just come in for 5 minutes? Or come through the drive thru and say hello? Of course she was upset. You were there sitting in the parking lot like a creeper for 40 minutes calling her on the phone when you could've just gone inside and seen her. She said even if she was busy I should have come in and she doesn't understand why I didn't. I don't either. So she said she didn't know whether she should be mad or dissapointed or what. I told her I was sorry and that next time I would just come in. She really kept going over the same thing over and over like she wanted me to feel bad about it. She probably kept going over it because your actions makes no sense at all. I kind of understand you being unsure given what has happened between the two of you, but if she expressed interest in you dropping by (see my question above) it seems really odd to me that you would sit in the parking lot for 40 minutes calling her rather than going inside. It's really illogical.
veggirl Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Um maybe she TRUSTS you? :confused: What a concept. Beyond that though, this relationship is nothing but drama and again...it's only been a MONTH...what do you make of that? 2
pteromom Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 On the previous post it could be that she is being more sentimental as her period starts tommorow. Not sure. Earlier when I talked with her I told her that I went out last night. She asked me where I went. I said "To a club" -- She replies: "That's great!" -- I said "Huh?, usually if someone goes to the club it could be only one thing; to pick up on someone." -- She says: "Depends on who you go with." -- Ok. This is not the first time she has said something like this. Last month my boss wanted to take me to the strip club and I told him no. I didn't want to risk starting out a new relationship with my girlfriend that way. Plus, I didn't want her to do the same to me. Anyway, she told me it was fine if I wanted to go; that I should go. I'm like "What?" -- She says "Yeah, I don't have a problem with you going; you should just go. I mean I go to La Bares!" -- I'm thinking geez you didn't just say that. Anyway, bottom like is she seems to be very open and not caring about me going out and actually encourages this? Why is this? Would't she be concerned I'm going to drink or meet some other girl? Her point-of-view here sounds normal to me. Sounds like she trusts you. It does sound though, like you guys may not be very compatible.
pteromom Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Yesterday she sent me a pic of her in Vegas standing next to someone wearing an Elf costume. I jokingly said "I would have to crop the Elf out of the picture" -- And she replied back "Why do you always have to be so negative? You don't know how to have fun." -- So now I am feeling like I can't be myself. And truth is I don't think that comment would have upset her before because I expressed my feelings about all kinds of things talking with her and she always let me be myself. It seems like she is taking a closer look at me to see if I am still worthy or something. I find your comment odd. You are jealous of a guy in an ELF costume?!?!? I would be put off by that comment too. However, her reaction seems a little over-the-top, and my guess is that is because she is going through a divorce, and hasn't had time on her own to re-normalize and purge herself of all the emotional landmines from her failed marriage. I do not see your relationship lasting much longer. I don't think either of you are in a place where you can build a foundation of trust and growth.
Author skyecko Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 Clia - Yeah I live in weird; like The Twilight Zone. I swear. When I asked he is she wanted me to drop by on the way back she seemed slightly hesitant but told me to call her. The hestitation is what caused me to wonder if she really wanted me to come or not; and then when she didn't answer my followup call; that she wasn't serious about seeing me. I actually was suprised she was upset that I didn't come in. Yes, I was in the parking lot for 40 minutes. I'm dedicated like that but I have my limits also. Because she told me 5 days ago that she needed space I just assumed she didn't want to see me when she didnt answer or call me back in the 40 minute timeframe. Pteromom - The Elf was in Las Vegas and it was a woman. She was standing close to my girlfriend so the picture was great but I couldn't use it for printing out or anything because the Elf was in it. That is why I said I would have to crop them out. Chrisftw - Yeah, I'm working on learning to give her space and not seem so needy. I hate to limit out conversation but if you say that our relationship will become stronger for it then I am willing to try. Starsonfire - Yes, I thought about counseling just a couple of days ago just to see what I can fix about myself so that the relationship can be saved despite myself. Yes, I am concerned about being the rebound. Don't want that. Really do like her alot.
Author skyecko Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 Seems like the incident of me not going in at her workplace confused the hell out of her. Now she seems to be paying attention to me again. Last night she sent me 5 more pictures from her trip; and we text a few times. We didn't say goodnight but she did say goodmorning which she had stopped. Today starts her period. I wonder if that has anything to do with things. Maybe she is actually sweet during her period; but a week or so before her period she is unhappy. It's just my theory. I'm going to track it next month to see if there is anything to it. But she called me at least 3 times yesterday ragging on me about she can't believe I didn't come in and she can't understand why. At least she is paying attention instead of blowing me off. She has to trust me because I am very trustworthy normal boring guy. Nothing to worry about. Which is probably why I need to do something to cause her to think sometimes.
Author skyecko Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Yesterday I bought flowers for my girlfriend. I went to her workplace because in the past we had been sitting out in my car talking into she got off work. When I got there she was suprised. But she didn't give me a hug; or a kiss; put her arm around me; or anything affectionate. Normally if she is busy she will just bring me into her office but she didn't do that; and she told me that she could't go out to my car and sit but didn't say why. She works at a fast food place where she is the manager. She got a couple of customers and I stepped to the side so she could take the orders. While she was taking orders I started talking to another customer. After a few minutes she didn't come back out so I went to my truck and sat for about 10 minutes. She didn't call; or come out; or text. So I went in and brought the flowers. I passed her with a broom on her way to the office and she "Oh, thanks!" but she didn't stop and admire them; she just continued to the dining room and started sweeping. This indifference almost as if I was just another person pissed me off. So from about 10 feet away I just told her I was leaving. She just said "Ok" and continued sweeping. She didn't say "Hey wait! Where you going?" -- "Or let me walk you out to your car" -- or "Give me a minute." -- Nothing. She just let me go. So I left pissed off. She text me a few minutes later and said thanks for the flowers. I didn't reply. I sent her a text about 45 minutes later asking her "If I wanted to spend time with you what places would you be alright doing so?" -- Meaning, maybe you don't want me coming to your house (as she said the other day); and maybe now you don't want me to come to your workplace; so more or less where/when can we see one another. I was hoping for a reply that would give me some idea as to how she felt about me. She replied "When? I don't know." -- I ignored that text for awhile then just skipped over the subject. I told her: "My boss gave me my vacation days" -- She replies: "What days?" -- I reply: "Mar 9th-15th" -- She replies: "Ok, I will try to plan something for each of those days." -- I reply: "Ok, that sounds great!" So I wait about an hour and I text her: "I am beggining to forget what it feels like to kiss you." -- No reply. Still no reply. That has been how it has been for the last week. If I say anything touchy-feely she just doesn't repond. I mean she calls me "Hun" and is planning for us to spend vacation time together but no affection in person? I'm seriously confused unless she just doesn't want anyone to see us being affectionate with one another because of the divorce. But that doesn't explain exactly why she wasn't affectionate when I was at her house the other day? Unless she was just mad because she had told me before (didn't realize it) that she didn't want me to go to the house because she is concerned that her ex-husband is watching her place because of the pending divorce. I am starting to feel that she just wants to cool all emotions/physical contact until after the divorce and in the meanwhile just talk and be friends. But she has not explicitly told me this. If I knew why she was acting the way she is and let me know what the "new rules" are to the relationship then I would know what parameters to work within and why. And if I knew it was just temporary until the divorce was finalized then I would be alright with that. But not know where I stand is hard on me.
StarsOnFire Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I am starting to feel that she just wants to cool all emotions/physical contact until after the divorce and in the meanwhile just talk and be friends. But she has not explicitly told me this. If I knew why she was acting the way she is and let me know what the "new rules" are to the relationship then I would know what parameters to work within and why. And if I knew it was just temporary until the divorce was finalized then I would be alright with that. But not know where I stand is hard on me. I think you're right with her wanting to cool all emotions/physical contact until after the divorce. Maybe she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you, but you really need to know so you can get out of this confusing/limbo situation you're in with her. Since she won't tell you, why do you just specifically ask her if that's what she wants? I always feel like open communication is the best in relationships. Good luck.
Author skyecko Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 It really hurts me. I think you are right. I can deal with no public affection; and if she is wanting to just continue what we have without all the characteristics of a relationship. Only if I know she cares and WANTS to be with me after her divorce is finalized. In Texas that could be 9 months! That's a long time to be going through my emotions and especially not knowing where I stand.
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