so there's this girl...

[whattodowtd]

So there's this girl who I met through a friend. She's his cousin.

She likes to play hot and cold. Here's how it all began...

We went out twice in a week, hardly talked and somehow we ended up going back to her place and having sex.

We talked for a little bit and she was telling me how she thinks she was ready for a boyfriend.

Whatever, I played it cool. I went to bed and she kissed me. I couldn't believe it. This could be something.

I havent dated for the past six months so she was like a breath of fresh air.

So I woke up, went about my week. I wondered why she didn't call me. I was pretty sure I gave her my number..

Well it turns out I had her number all along and she didnt have mine.

To make a long story short. We made plans, she flaked. I played it cool once again.

We ended up hanging out and we had sex multiple times, different days.

but everytime my friend who was her cousin was around, she acted like we werent crap.

One night I told her I didnt care as much as she thought I did just so she can get a taste of her own medicine and she ends up leaving with some guy who she said was her friend.

Basically trying to see if I would flip out and get jealous.

So I did, I was drunk and couldnt control my emotions.

I showed her that it hurt and that was that. She won that battle.

I said I didnt care and she did that to see what I'd do.

She then told me the next morning she wasnt ready for a relationship when I asked her why she'd try to make me jealous.

Anyway, time passes she becomes cold and distant.

A couple weeks pass and I see her at the bar, I ignore her, talk to her friends, she digs it, I end up in her bed.

We hangout the next day and she tells me that she cares, but she acts like she doesnt so that way she doesnt get hurt.

I played it cool, said its whatever..

Its like I have to play stupid games and act uninterested to keep her interested.

 

A week later I see her at the bar, she ignores me to the fullest, I'm super wasted pretty much begging for an answer why she wont speak to me.

She told me crappy things like "I dont like your personality" whoopty whoop.

and I'm just wondering why. What on earth happened within a week.. like seriously.

 

We end up hanging out again, having sex. Yes, this must be getting old.

Then we dont talk for a week. I drunk called her, told her horrible things to make her feel like ****.

Well it worked, I made this rude selfish girl feel like ****.

I then told her I dont want any contact with her and didnt apologize for anything I said to her.

 

Now I'm over here thinking way too much. Maybe she wasnt going to call me anyway.

Maybe it was already over. She got what she wanted. I got what I wanted, well sort of.

I'm probably one of her many guys, who knows.

but all I ever wanted was her attention and to see her again.

She's kind of a crazy chick, I dig that. She's exciting, damaged, beautiful.

I accept my flaws so I was willing to accept all of hers.

 

Should I attempt to say sorry to see where this can go?

will she just use my apology as an opportunity to say kick rocks or possibly ignore me?

Should I even feel bad for saying something to hurt her ego on account of all the bs she's put me through for the past two months?

Should I just leave it be and forget about her?

 

I do care about this chick and I remember all the times we were

together she would pretty much act like my gf.

So I know she cares, she's just putting up a wall.

or maybe she's not even interested.

 

Any suggestions? I'm confused about what to do.

I want to say sorry and try to fix whatever it was

or just keep it moving.

I can handle being just sex friends with her but she acted like it was more so it threw me off my game.

Then she would just act like it was never like that.

 

She told me in the past that I apologize too much, so that makes me want to stand my ground even more.

[fungusamungus]

Do not ever try to game a girl that you are actually like and want to have an honest and stable relationship with. Leave that for the PUA type.

 

Don't complain about her playing games when you play them right back.

 

Neither of you trust each other because neither of you say what you mean or mean what you say. Not really sure why you would want to salvage this, it doesn't really sound like it's going to turn into anything. Keep having sex though if you enjoy it.

 

The moment I encounter a girl like this, I check out. It's not worth the effort or stress of putting up with that kind of BS. Also, dude, you are way too sensitive.

Edited January 22, 2013 by fungusamungus

[whattodowtd]

Do not ever try to game a girl that you are actually like and want to have an honest and stable relationship with. Leave that for the PUA type.

 

Don't complain about her playing games when you play them right back.

 

Neither of you trust each other because neither of you say what you mean or mean what you say. Not really sure why you would want to salvage this, it doesn't really sound like it's going to turn into anything. Keep having sex though if you enjoy it.

 

The moment I encounter a girl like this, I check out. It's not worth the effort or stress of putting up with that kind of BS. Also, dude, you are way too sensitive.

 

 

Thank you. That was the exact answer I was looking for.

I wanted a brutally honest answer and you gave it to me, so for that I thank you.

 

I did try telling her how I feel but she would act immature about it so I never brought up how I really feel.

She didnt give me the chance except when she felt like it.

I'm honestly not trying to say sorry to keep banging her.

Its just that I dont feel too proud for lowering myself and bagging on someone for the simple fact of hurting them.

Why I even care is beyond me, because she obviously doesnt care that much.

But I was raised differently and I truly feel like a dickwad.

I blame it on the liquor. Thats when all of my feelings come out and I get sensitive.

Otherwise I'm a pretty strong person and can handle a few hot/cold chicks as if it were my job.

I'm going to cut back on the drinking and turn my phone off if I do.

I'm going to apologize over a text and if she doesnt text me back then it was because of my own doing.

and that will be that. I wash my hands of her.

[fungusamungus]

You can't fix her immaturity. Again, you don't sound like a bad guy or anything, and it's not like you don't KNOW that you were screwing up. But a lot of this is her problem, just don't compound it by making matters worse. I know how we can get really stubborn and proud and want to save face when we feel like we're getting slighted, but in the long run, it's not worth it.

 

The hardest part of dealing with relationships is knowing how to be a nice guy without being a pushover, how to take control of situations without being controlling, and how to be a confident person without the cockiness or hubris that eventually drives people off.

 

You can apologize, but it's not because of you own doing. Realize that it's because of both of your doing, she obviously has issues. At the very least, you've been realizing yours. Otherwise, yeah, maybe try to cut back on the booze. I stop drinking for a few weeks every time I get out of a breakup, to keep myself level headed, and to prevent me from getting overly sensitive and emotional and doing/saying something I regret.

[whattodowtd]

Ahh screw it. I'm not going to apologize, that might fuel the fire.

I drunk dialed, honest mistake. I dont want to explain myself to her because it is going nowhere. It is nowhere hahaha.

It was fun while it lasted. I was just wondering what to do,

because most of the time I let it go and think what if.

This chick seriously thought she could **** on my chest and I'd still be on her tough.

If it would've been something more than it would've been something more.

and it wasnt. Thanks for the advice.