mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Tonight I was talking to a male friend of mine who lives in Atlanta. We had not talked for almost a year because of his situation. Let me explain ... My friend Bob (not his real name) started seeing this woman about a year and a half ago. Bob and I got into the habit of talking quite a bit over an events planning situation in 05 and continued onward since becoming great friends. Bob went through a terrible time, loosing his job and his apartment in the meantime. About a year ago, he sent a text saying that he and his gf were moving in together. He was all excited he said in the text because it's what he wanted. I forsaw nothing but disaster to unfold because he had told me about their horrible fights and whatnot before. After a while, I decided not to call him since he was not returning my calls or texts, then he said one day via text that he was kicking her out. About a month ago he at last kicked her out. He said he moved in with her for financal reasons (which I already new) and partially loneliness. She moved in with her kids and they did not help on the bills or whatnot, and he was left holding the bag. He also said that she had forbidden him from contacting me anymore because she was jealous of me and accused him of cheating. He assured her nothing of the sort was going on. How can you cheat with someone who lives hundreds of miles away? But I told him that I forgave him on this, because I knew that good would prevail. I knew he would do the right thing and choose me over her, which he did. Granted this is a circumstance, but I can't stand it when a gf/bf gives one an ultimatum demanding that they eliminate certain friends for whatever reason. Has this even happened to any of you? It's a terrible feeling when you have been shut out.
AMusing Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I lost the "right" to talk to my good male friend about 6 months ago. It still hurts. His new girlfriend got jealous of us. We live in different countries now, and stayed in contact via email. She started reading all of our emails, with his permission. We literally never said anything hinting at wanting more (because we didn't want more), but she started reading into everything. Last summer they got into a HUGE fight over me. I was tired of the drama and trying to "prove" I wasn't interested in my friend. I told him that until she realized I wasn't a threat, I wasn't going to email him anymore. Guess she still hasn't realized I don't want "her man." I've heard from other friends that she's slowly been pushing away all of his friends, starting with his prettiest female friends and single male friends. Last I heard they were talking marriage. He's a sweet guy, a total push-over, and I don't know if he will ever stand up for himself.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I lost the "right" to talk to my good male friend about 6 months ago. It still hurts. His new girlfriend got jealous of us. We live in different countries now, and stayed in contact via email. She started reading all of our emails, with his permission. We literally never said anything hinting at wanting more (because we didn't want more), but she started reading into everything. Last summer they got into a HUGE fight over me. I was tired of the drama and trying to "prove" I wasn't interested in my friend. I told him that until she realized I wasn't a threat, I wasn't going to email him anymore. Guess she still hasn't realized I don't want "her man." I've heard from other friends that she's slowly been pushing away all of his friends, starting with his prettiest female friends and single male friends. Last I heard they were talking marriage. He's a sweet guy, a total push-over, and I don't know if he will ever stand up for himself. That's sad, I'm sorry it happened to you as well. Why is it that women get so jealous of other women who clearly are not infringing on their territory? Also happened in another situation, the former bf said he wanted to be friends and I was texting him maybe once every two months, just "hi how are you?" messages. Then he told me last night I can't talk to him anymore because his gf is looking through his things and she's uncomfortable. He said "Sorry to be so blunt but I agree." I said I hope he enjoyed dealing with that brat rather than someone who wanted to be his friend and have fun. I also wonder about a man who gives into it. It's not the first, will not be the last time that the woman in question is going to come between them and their friends/family if they don't like them. They're not half as tough as they think they are if they give into it constantly.
FitChick Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Most men aren't thrilled if their girlfriend stays in touch with male friends. 1
AMusing Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 That's sad, I'm sorry it happened to you as well. Why is it that women get so jealous of other women who clearly are not infringing on their territory? I can understand a new girlfriend feeling unsure/insecure about a female friend. It can be uncomfortable, which is why I make an effort to get to know them so they can see I'm not a threat. In the case of this friend, his gf refused to contact me directly. She said my offers to get to know her were "condescending" and I would just try to wedge between the two of them. It was doubly hurtful, losing a friend and being accused of being a wannabe "home wrecker." If I'd wanted to be with this guy, wouldn't I have tried years ago, when we were both single and living in the same country? Anyway, I guess it's a compliment, in a pathetic way. These ladies think so highly of us they can't believe that their boyfriends don't want to be with us.
fishtaco Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Most men aren't thrilled if their girlfriend stays in touch with male friends. Guess I'm not most men. One of my ex girlfriends was on a business trip in San Francisco. She asked if it was ok for her to meet up with her ex and have dinner together. I told her go ahead, because I trust she would not cheat on me. If I thought as soon as she's more than 100 miles away from me and she'd start banging guys, I wouldn't date her in the first place. But I know, yes, I'm strange.
Author mortensorchid Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 I guess that is the nature of the beast, but I tend to think those who are jealous and posessive of it have experienced some kind of infidelity in the past. Still, it might sound rather polyanna of me, but I choose to trust others before I jump to such a conclusion about them. Unless you know for sure that someone has done something terrible, then if they pull it on you then you're an even bigger fool. Ah well, life goes on...
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