soret Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Wasn't really sure where to post this since the topic is related to dating, LDR, and breaking up. I joined this singing site near the end of August to practise my singing and to have fun. I was able to obtain a big group of friends on this site with whom I still speak to but not as much of course since the summer ended. I also met this guy who wasn't really apart of our group but I still chatted with him whenever he wanted to get my attention. He was nothing special to me, just a friend who I could flirt with with no strings. I never trusted him because he gave off the player vibe so I stayed away from him and talked to my group only. When I say "player" I mean that he would flirt with the other girls as well and was always too busy for anyone else. In doing so he would ask if I was mad with him at times to which in return I would lie and say I was busy. We would flirt on occasion out of my own boredom but I had no feeling for him whatsoever. A couple of months passed and I could feel myself getting a crush on him but since he was the playing type I disappeared for about a month to clear my head. When I came back things were a bit different with him, he would say things like he had feelings for me. I shrugged it off because to me it was a big lie and we lived in two different countries.... it just wouldn't work and I didn't want to get hurt knowing full well that I had suspicions going into it. A few days after we reconnected I went on vacation and he told me he was going to miss me. I didn't want to say anything back because he was acting different. He was giving me more attention now that we reconnected then ever before. We talked over my vacation more than we should have, he was different and it was refreshing that this time around he was paying attention to me. He ended up telling me that he loved me and I didn't say it back because it would have been a lie and this really upset him. Over the past two weeks we talked daily and yes I ended up developing mutual feelings for him or so I thought. I was too confused to ever admit my true feelings. Not as strong but the beginning stages of loving another person even though I had suspicions since I didn't know all that much about him. One night he confessed to me that he had slept with someone while he was drunk and regretted it and I acted like I didn't care when in reality it felt like he betrayed me. I couldn't really do or say anything because he was only my friend. Eventually we got together but now I think we've split up. To sum all of this up: I don't trust him because he sleeps around and gets drunk quite a bit. He seems to have this issue of making a commitment to me even though I'm going to his country in 4 months time to visit my best friend. He can be very demanding. For example: wanting me to stay in his house while I'm in his country (something I wont do until I get to know him better) He is confused and can't make up his mind about our relationship status. He get's insecure sometimes and says "you don't want to be with me" etc. He's says things like " I can't wait 4 months for us to be a real couple" I'm pretty confused right now and I feel a bit manipulated by him and I think someone needs to open up my eyes a little bit. Ive spent the last week getting to know a different side to him and it's one that I like. Thank you for your time, Jessica (Ps. I'am 21 and he is 22)
skweezd Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You're young. Find someone you can actually be with... in person. Do not let someone screw with your head over the internet. Say goodbye 1
Maryhelen Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 the long distance thing is not an easy thing to do , if you don't trust the guy then i politely say that you don't make the mistake of dating him. the first rule of long distance is to have faith and trust the other person. From your sayings YES he sounds manipulating and that's not healthy and it certainly puts the suspicion up considering that cheating guys often tend to manipulate their "victims", i suggest you don't mess your life up for a guy like him, i get the feeling that he's not worth it and i believe you do too.
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