Cam116 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I posted about this a few weeks ago, and there should be a thread under my username that tells the story of break up. I'll give you the cliffs notes: We dated for 5 years, lived together for the past 3 or so. He broke up with me in the beginning of December after having doubts about us for a few months. He felt the spark was gone and wasn't sure that he was still in love with me. That's the gist of it. We broke up very peacefully; no angry words or arguing, and both admitted that we still cared about one another deeply and didn't want to completely lose one another. We agreed to tried to keep a friendship going (in the very distant future, obviously). I've been doing great, having many more good days than bad. I've been flirting and talking with other guys. Haven't gone on any dates because I'm too afraid to give off any signals that I am read for a relationship. I'm obviously not emotionally ready for anything serious, but it does feel really good having guys flirt with me yadda yadda yadda. So, my ex and I talked about 3 weeks ago, and I told him I didn't know where we stood as far as boundaries are concerned. He suggested we meet up for lunch at the end of the month and sort of "test the waters" so to speak so that we have a better idea of where we are currently overall. So we spoke today to finalize plans, and I asked him if he was sure that he wanted to do this. I told him I didn't want him to feel any kind of pressure or obligation to do this. He said he was feeling a little reserved about it, not because he didn't want to see me. He told me he wants to see me and catch up, he misses me and misses hanging out but he's afraid that talk of the relationship might be brought up. I assured him that I have no intentions of bringing up the relationship (I honestly don't). So he said he was okay with it and we'll see how it goes. Now, I KNOW we have a loooooong way to go before we can really honestly hang out as friends, I am well aware, but I feel that we will have a better idea of where we are by catching up. We never set any boundary rules, and maybe this will steer me in one direction or another as far as contact goes. We have spoken at length a few times (all phone calls that he initiated) about life and about our going ons, and it was always very friendly, lighthearted conversations. I think we will be able to handle this, but now I'm sorta having doubts because I don't want him to feel pressured to do this. Was just looking for some opinions, if anyone has ever done something similar, I don't know if we should give it more time. I don't expect him to come back to me, we both have issues that need sorting out, something I've been working on in this short time. But I just don't know if this is the right way to go about building a small foundation for friendship. Any thoughts?
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