Malia25 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Do guys in general find the act of a female asking the guy out to be something desired or does it come off as desperate? I can't believe I've written two threads about this guy and this situation, but I'm just indecisive and a bit nervous about it. Basically, I was interested in a volunteer at my workplace (educated, attractive, well-spoken), but I didn't know how to pursue him considering I was technicallly his supervisor. He ended up leaving and months went by - and I just couldn't get him out of my head. I wanted to know him (a bit too hopelessly). So I emailed him asking him if we had any mutual connections or knew of people I could network with that were also in our same field. He wrote me back the next day, saying he didn't - but we should keep in touch anyways. I emailed him back saying I'd love to hear more about his grad school experience, etc and that we should connect on linkedin. That was my subliminal cue that I was interested...but he never wrote back or connected to me on LI. Female friends say I should leave it alone now because I expressed my interest already and just move on. Males say I should take the lead and ask him to lunch. I'm leaning toward asking him out, but I'm thinking that by him not writing back - it's indicating his low interest level. Male friends also say my emails came off too professional, so he might be clueless to MY interest level. Should I go for it and ask him (for lunch or coffee) anyways? Oh lordy, I need some cajones!!
Lani Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It sounds like you were too professional. LinkedIn is a professional site, so I can easily see how he would have thought that. I think you should go for it and ask him to have lunch. I mean, whats the worst that can happen? He could say no, but you're not talking to or seeing him at the moment anyway, so no harm done! 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Do guys in general find the act of a female asking the guy out to be something desired or does it come off as desperate? I can't believe I've written two threads about this guy and this situation, but I'm just indecisive and a bit nervous about it. Basically, I was interested in a volunteer at my workplace (educated, attractive, well-spoken), but I didn't know how to pursue him considering I was technicallly his supervisor. He ended up leaving and months went by - and I just couldn't get him out of my head. Based on the bolded, you are certainly not the only female after him, and he has certainly been approached before. So, he wouldn't find it too odd. There are guys who get approached like crazy too. Take the plunge. Ask him.
zebracolors Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Im kind of in the same boat, there's a guy Im crushing on who at least seems interested in me. And I want to ask him out so that he knows my level of interest. Except my hurdle is kind of a language barrier, (He knows little English, and I only started learning Spanish) which I am kind of wondering if that is what is holding him back. But I am thinking of arranging to bring a friend who can speak Spanish. But Im worried about going through all the trouble for nothing. But like you and your situation, I have to know where I stand with him, if he wants to try getting to know me. So I have to just grow a pair of "lady balls" and do it:D
CptObvious Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 If you're at least a 6.5 on a good day I'm sure he wouldn't reject you
Author Malia25 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Thanks guys and gals. I am going to do it: be bold, take the plunge, take the situation into my own hands, etc. I know there is a 50/50 chance I will get rejected, but I think I can handle it. Actually, I WILL handle it fine...but I hope I won't have to. Ha. I'll do it later this week and it will be such a relief to get it off my chest. I'm tired of thinking of doing it. I just want to DO IT - with no more hesitation and be able to say I did it. Gosh, I feel like such a guy right now. Im kind of in the same boat, there's a guy Im crushing on who at least seems interested in me. And I want to ask him out so that he knows my level of interest. Except my hurdle is kind of a language barrier, (He knows little English, and I only started learning Spanish) which I am kind of wondering if that is what is holding him back. But I am thinking of arranging to bring a friend who can speak Spanish. But Im worried about going through all the trouble for nothing. But like you and your situation, I have to know where I stand with him, if he wants to try getting to know me. So I have to just grow a pair of "lady balls" and do it:D Yes, please....let's both grow lady balls! I imagine that once it's over and done with (regardless of the outcome) it will be quite liberating. What about writing your (potential) guy a note in Spanish expressing your interest...with your number? That way you don't have to try to verbalize your thoughts. It's easy these days to use Spanish-English translators to write things for us. Haha. I hope something good comes out of it. I would imagine he would be flattered, being that he is not originally from this country. The language barrier might make him self conscious and you could very well be the person that brings him out of it! Good luck with him! *hands you lady balls* Now squeeze them suckas! 1
Author Malia25 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 If you're at least a 6.5 on a good day I'm sure he wouldn't reject you LOL. It's a good thing I consider myself smart and witty too! Hot, yes that too...on Fridays, Tuesdays and maybe...just maybe...on the occasional Wednesday. But honestly, I'm pretty confident in my looks and he has seen more more than once and subjected me to one of those lingering stares *swoon* - so if he says 'no' I'd be pretty surprised. Ha.
Keenly Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I would be very interested at a woman that approached me. No signals, no games... straight to the point.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 If you're at least a 6.5 on a good day I'm sure he wouldn't reject you What if you are 5.5?
Feelin Frisky Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Sure, ask him to lunch. That's not too forward. If he evades, you know what's what. If he goes for it, you can be honest that you've been harboring an attraction, Let him respond to that before you ask him further. That less of putting him on the spot if he's ambivalent or not interested. Just admit your interest and see if he's pleased. If he is, have a plan for something. I've been asked out. I wasn't sure she was into me, I was young and dense. It wasn't easy even having sex with her because I was a virgin and she 10 years older and big--not fat but both sets of lips felt humongous and wet to the point of "holy shi+, is this how it's always gonna be?" It was good and just getting my "feet" and my ego "wet". Good luck.
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