ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Fairly certain that he has mentioned several times, especially in the Friends with Women thread, that his goal is to find out how to have sex with a wide variety of women without needing to commit. Seen. Either way, I can't say I share his perception of things, there's a lot of f*cked up sh*t going on right now, but I can't say that the landscape of the dating world is anywhere near as high up on the list as some people on here make it sound. Or maybe I just don't care . I dunno, all I know is, everybody around me is getting laid, save for a few people (of both genders ). 1
deekay Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 heavily depends on the guy himself. as for me, i know that keeping a relationship is going to be a massive pain in the neck after graduation, as everybody is running around finding jobs across the nation. a relationship established in college usually results in long-distance relationship, and we know that LDRs suck. as for me, i like to date around with a lot of different girls. i love sex, and i love beautiful girls. heh.. that's something any straight guy will say but doesn't know how to show it. maybe after i settle down, i'll start seeking a wifey. 1
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 For a man' date=' monogamous arrangements are secondary to the desire for variety. Why do you think so many women who have sex with a virgin man has worries about him straying and wanting to experience other women? Do you seriously not think that a man wouldn't want to live the lifestyle of a playboy who can get as many women as he wants at the drop of a hat? I take any guy who says that relationships are better than casual sex after not even having lived the player lifestyle with a grain of salt. It's like saying a person whose never stepped foot out of America saying Europe is a terrible place but he wouldn't know because he hasn't been there. It's the same. damn. thing. If a guy who was once a player said "yeah, relationships are the best thing on earth", I would reconsider. I know some older men who were Casanovas in their youth and I ask them how marriage life is. They all say variations of: "it's alright, but it's no Holy Grail". [/quote'] You DO NOT speak for any males other than yourself so knock it off with the generalizing. You can refuse to believe it all you want but the truth is that there are guys in existence who could have options if they really tried but prefer to be with one person who they connect with and have great chemistry. 2
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Time to eat my popcorn and wait for what D'Argennes has to say about the 'male perspective' now, or why Pyro's doesn't count as such. It's also the first time I've heard of a woman in her mid-20s being referred to as an 'older woman', but I suppose there are firsts for everything. Does that mean that when I was in college a couple years back and in a LTR, I was a 'middle-aged' woman? Ah, such insights. 1
TheBigQuestion Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I don't quite understand the "relationships only" mentality during college. And I say that as someone who spent almost the first half of college in an exclusive relationship. If I could go back and do it all over again, I probably would have let that relationship die in high school.
TheBigQuestion Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Time to eat my popcorn and wait for what D'Argennes has to say about the 'male perspective' now, or why Pyro's doesn't count as such. It's also the first time I've heard of a woman in her mid-20s being referred to as an 'older woman', but I suppose there are firsts for everything. Does that mean that when I was in college a couple years back and in a LTR, I was a 'middle-aged' woman? Ah, such insights. verhrzn was in her mid-20s and frequently referred to herself as some variation of "old." So you're lying. 1
charlietheginger Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You DO NOT speak for any males other than yourself so knock it off with the generalizing. You can refuse to believe it all you want but the truth is that there are guys in existence who could have options if they really tried but prefer to be with one person who they connect with and have great chemistry. Yes this is true. Im 35 looking for a female that will Be my friend lover companion all in one. I have options if i sense the woman and i wont click Well i don't waste my time with dragging it out not Even for sex. Im looking for one not the entire heard. I have a great guy friend 6`1 245lbs single digit body fat He is with a great women he gets hit on all the time but Is very happy with his women. 2
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I don't quite understand the "relationships only" mentality during college. And I say that as someone who spent almost the first half of college in an exclusive relationship. If I could go back and do it all over again, I probably would have let that relationship die in high school. For some people the connection and feelings for one other person and getting the same in return trumps random banging from people whom you don't know that well. Is monogamy the norm/majority during the college years? No, but it exists for those who could have options if they were single. 2
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 verhrzn was in her mid-20s and frequently referred to herself as some variation of "old." So you're lying. Aha, fair enough. It's been a while.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 If someone is undecided about whether or not to hook up during college or just pursue relationships, they should just go ahead and hook up a bunch of times. Leaves you with more options down the road and fewer dysfunctions.
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 For some people the connection and feelings for one other person and getting the same in return trumps random banging from people whom you don't know that well. Is monogamy the norm/majority during the college years? No, but it exists for those who could have options if they were single. Yep, I definitely think that college relationships have lower odds of success than those started by people who are more established in life. Some have braved the odds, though, because they really value that person as their companion. Some fail due to external circumstances or just lack of experience in general, but that does not change the fact that they were in it because they wanted to be. IMO it it much more difficult to be 'able' to sustain a healthy LTR than to be 'able' to have casual sex, so I completely do not understand the 'options' bit. Plenty of people are capable of having casual sex, but it takes maturity, dedication, and genuine love, for you and your partner to stand a fighting chance of making a LTR work.
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 IMO it it much more difficult to be 'able' to sustain a healthy LTR than to be 'able' to have casual sex, so I completely do not understand the 'options' bit. Plenty of people are capable of having casual sex, but it takes maturity, dedication, and genuine love, for you and your partner to stand a fighting chance of making a LTR work. Did someone say that casual relationships are more difficult than long term ones?
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 IMO it it much more difficult to be 'able' to sustain a healthy LTR than to be 'able' to have casual sex, so I completely do not understand the 'options' bit. Plenty of people are capable of having casual sex, but it takes maturity, dedication, and genuine love, for you and your partner to stand a fighting chance of making a LTR work. "Options" meaning that if you're a 30 year old virgin with no relationship experience you're a lot worse off than someone 30 years old with no relationship experience but plenty of sexual experience. Also, people who aren't having sex in relationships or having casual sex are probably turning to porn. Which, some people believe over-reliance on porn can lead to performance issues when you do eventually have a partner. I'm totally against casual sex. I think it's a bad idea and horrible for most people's mental and physical health. But, if someone is undecided on the subject it's probably better to try it than not.
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Generalizing? Really? Who? Me? You're trying to tell me what I've heard from numerous guys young and old is generalizing? You're trying to tell me what I see as patterns as generalizing? Fine, you want me to say that there are people with options who want to be exclusive, sure. But you must also accept the truth that there are many other guys in existence who DON'T want to be exclusive. Of course there are guys with options who want to be exclusive. I never said that there wasn't. They're just few and far between. These guys also don't often know that they have options, so that is why they pull the trigger on commitment so easily. I know several guys like this. The guys with options (who REALLY know they have options) will not want to commit so easily. Most guys with options screw around until they meet that "one special girl" but it is more often than not on the course of this, not because they're actively searching for "the one". When I talk about options, I do not mean the ability to get casual sex but the ability to sustain a steady stream of casual sex with little gaps in between. Of course I'm not going to discredit Pyro's view but the fact that he reduces my view to simple "generalizing" is the same as Elsywth rationalizing away my view with rickety straw man attacks. It's the same as fixing absolute truth to one perspective and not allowing for another interpretation to exist. Sounds like that this will be the closest to hearing that we are in an agreement that there are guys out there who have options that will play the field and that there are guys out there with options who will find the one and hold on to her. 1
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Did someone say that casual relationships are more difficult than long term ones? It seems that some men here think that long term relationships are what 'beta males settle for' because they are unable to get casual sex. So they probably think that casual sex is more difficult to obtain.
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It seems that some men here think that long term relationships are what 'beta males settle for' because they are unable to get casual sex. So they probably think that casual sex is more difficult to obtain. Oh brother. Anyone can BS and find a low self esteem girl, but very few can be honest, open their heart, and be willing to compromise to make a relationship work. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Oh brother. Anyone can BS and find a low self esteem girl, but very few can be honest, open their heart, and be willing to compromise to make a relationship work. Anyone? I know for a fact that I can't. So maybe that should be changed to "almost anyone". 2
TheBigQuestion Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Oh brother. Anyone can BS and find a low self esteem girl, but very few can be honest, open their heart, and be willing to compromise to make a relationship work. To be honest, I've actually had a much easier time getting into relationships than getting casual sex when I actively pursued it. I don't see that as a bad thing by any means, but it's a factual statement nonetheless. Your statement is problematic because it assumes (1) that only people with low self esteem are interested in casual sex (a pretty egregious and unverifiable generalization if there ever was one), and (2) ignores the reality that not "anyone" can have casual sex if they so desire it.
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Are you saying casual sex is only the realm of low self esteem girls? Your statement is problematic because it assumes (1) that only people with low self esteem are interested in casual sex (a pretty egregious and unverifiable generalization if there ever was one), and (2) ignores the reality that not "anyone" can have casual sex if they so desire it. Let me fix what I said because what I said isn't entirely true. There are plenty of men and women out there who are all for casual stuff through the college years. Not denying that at all. I had in mind those type whom want to be in relationships but get played by someone and/or are very naive.
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 To be honest, I've actually had a much easier time getting into relationships than getting casual sex when I actively pursued it. I don't see that as a bad thing by any means, but it's a factual statement nonetheless. Getting into relationships is easy. It's maintaining one that's the challenging bit. Without any effort, your relationship will curl up on itself so fast that it'd be really no different from having casual sex in terms of time spent with one person. In fact, some people believe it to be so much effort that they'd rather stick to casual sex. Which is all well and good, but then it doesn't make sense that someone is 'settling for' something that is inherently more difficult. 1
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