Shauna Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I'm going to be going into my first year of university this fall and this is something that I'm wondering about. Do guys in university want relationships or do they just want to hook up? I know that everyone is different, but in general. I'm curious. The university that I'll be going to is known for being a huge party school. I will be living in residence and opted to be on a alcohol-free floor (I don't drink). Would that make a difference in the type of people I'm surrounded by?
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Much to my confusion, a lot of men in college have girlfriends/don't date around. My only theory is that they are just not successful in multi dating and instead stick with one girl. I can't see any othe reason.
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Much to my confusion, a lot of men in college have girlfriends/don't date around. My only theory is that they are just not successful in multi dating and instead stick with one girl. I can't see any othe reason. Or they have met someone whom they click with really well.
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Or they have met someone whom they click with really well. I don't know. I don't believe in relationships. I thought when I got to college it would be more like it is in the movies (dating wise). Maybe that's only in bigger schools, or party schools. The men I meet are either in relationships or genuinely want just one girl. Mind boggling
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 There's TONS of sleeping around in college. A good looking dude can go through like 15-20 girls first semester freshman year. And thing about college is that women are just as into casual sex as the guys are. With the top good looking guys that is. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I don't know. I don't believe in relationships. I thought when I got to college it would be more like it is in the movies (dating wise). Maybe that's only in bigger schools, or party schools. The men I meet are either in relationships or genuinely want just one girl. Mind boggling Commuting is a totally different lifestyle.
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Commuting is a totally different lifestyle. Yeah. I live 20 minutes away so I don't dorm, I drive. Wonder what the dorm life is like.
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It really depends on the culture at your college, OP. Where I went to college, multi-dating was virtually nonexistent, most people were either single or crushing on someone or in a relationship. I'm sure the culture is different in other places. Much to my confusion, a lot of men in college have girlfriends/don't date around. My only theory is that they are just not successful in multi dating and instead stick with one girl. I can't see any othe reason. As difficult as it may be for you to believe, some people actually don't ENJOY multi-dating. Not everyone is the same. Not easy to accept, but do try. 1
Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It depends, I have always been a guy since I started dating that was always looking for a relationship and never just wanted a hookup 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It depends on the guy, some want relationships some don't
KathyM Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Contrary to popular belief, not all guys are looking for an easy hook up in college--not even in the party schools. Some are interested in actual relationships with women. Some are interested in casual relationships. Some are too busy with their studies to be distracted with women. You'll find all types in college. If you're looking for a relationship, there will be guys interested in that, even those who go to parties. Not everyone who goes to college parties is looking for a hook up.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah. I live 20 minutes away so I don't dorm, I drive. Wonder what the dorm life is like. It's pretty much high school all over again but just living on your own instead of with your parents. Which means: -Women will throw themselves at hot guys they couldn't get in high school. -Successful guys will have sex with any semi-attractive woman. -Unsuccessful guys will be tortured by liking a number of women they virtually live with who only see them as friends but are screwing the guy on the 5th floor. -Good looking guys and athletes have a FIELD day As bad as I make out adult dating, it's not nearly as bad as the dorms in college. Probably the worst place for dating for bottom men ever.
ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It really depends on the culture at your college, OP. Where I went to college, multi-dating was virtually nonexistent, most people were either single or crushing on someone or in a relationship. I'm sure the culture is different in other places. As difficult as it may be for you to believe, some people actually don't ENJOY multi-dating. Not everyone is the same. Not easy to accept, but do try. I think it's probably somewhere in the middle regarding the last statement . MrCastle has a point, some guys suck at casual dating but actually want that lifestyle. But generally, there are quite a few who prefer monogamous relationships.
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 As difficult as it may be for you to believe, some people actually don't ENJOY multi-dating. Not everyone is the same. Not easy to accept, but do try. System Error 02: Does Not Compute System Error 02: Does Not Compute System Error 02: Does Not Compute System Error 02: Does Not Compute System Error 02: Does Not Compute System Error 02: Does Not Compute System Error 02: Does Not Compute
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Every male will want to hook up, but only the alphas will successfully hook up with multiple females while the betas will be scrambling trying to pick up the pieces. Good looking betas can "get lucky" with a girl, but once the girl finds out he is a beta, she will be running for the hills. At this age, the girls are trying to get as many "hot guy" alphas as they can. Alphas have almost no reason to settle down or be exclusive because they know they can monopolize as much vagina as they can. If you're looking for a boyfriend, I hate to tell you but the alpha male will most likely not be available as an option. In all seriousness? Adult women talk about shying away from casual sex and not wanting guys to use them for sex w/o a relationship. When I was in the college dorms, that's what women wanted. Sex with hot guys, with no strings attached. And more often than not, they were able to get it.
ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 This is it. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't been to college. If you're a beta male in college, you might as well wait around for final call at the bars and pick up the desperate women. Huh. England must be different then ......
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Much to my confusion, a lot of men in college have girlfriends/don't date around. My only theory is that they are just not successful in multi dating and instead stick with one girl. I can't see any othe reason. I think you're correct. Most in demand men date or sleep around. The ones that don't just value the stability of relationships more than fun and sex.
charlietheginger Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 2 types of guys in college. Type 1 booksmart wants to finish school start career Usually has steady girlfriend took out student loans Type 2 dont really care about school just their spending Mommie and daddies money lets party mom and dad Will give me more money. They party and bang lots of chicks
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I think it's probably somewhere in the middle regarding the last statement . MrCastle has a point, some guys suck at casual dating but actually want that lifestyle. But generally, there are quite a few who prefer monogamous relationships. Oh, sure, I definitely agree with this. I also think there are some guys who prefer long-term relationships, but will take casual sex if that's what they can get at the moment. People don't always get what they want, at least not immediately. It does irk me when people go the 'only reason a guy will commit is if he can't get several' route though. It hints that the people who do make the choice to commit are somehow inferior or dysfunctional, which isn't true. It's basically the equivalent of saying, "The only reason I can think of for a man out of high school to want to multi-date is because he's afraid to grow up and move into the adult world of relationships and commitments, so he settles for short-lived pleasures that ultimately don't satisfy him but are all he dares to reach for." Yes, I know some people actually say that stuff! Both are pretty judgemental. 1
HitMeNow Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Stereotyping is hard and bad. College? Which college? Which students? I bet in every college there is people who are looking to hook up, people who are looking to date, and people who are in relationships. I've had my fair share of success on casual hookups and I am honestly tired of all the alpha and beta talk. Point being who the **** cares. Just build real connections. People who you ll share good moments with. Casual sex is honestly just like eating McDonalds. You can't get enough of it, but as soon as it's done you just realize it's meaningless and does not add anything ot your life. 1
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Most guys at a young age will eschew relationships if they can get casual sex. They have not much of a compelling reason to be committed with one girl unless they've "had their fill" and many guys have large appetites. Getting a relationship is much easier than a steady stream of casual sex with the girls a guy really wants. Relationship is secondary for many males. It shouldn't irk you. That's what happens and that what has happened to many of my friends. They couldn't hang with the hookup culture, so they attempted to target one girl and go after her so they could have sex with her as often as possible. Some of them succeeded, many of them failed. These people aren't dysfunctional, they just didn't have the Game necessary or the looks to pull girls consistently for casual sex. After a while, all men will want to give a relationship "the old college try", but for a lot of college aged men, a serious relationship is not on their radar if they know that they will be able to experience variety with a bunch of young, hot women. As I have said several times before, I absolutely agree that there are some men who want casual sex with plenty of women and can't get it. You and your friends would fall in that category, yes. Fortunately you and your friends do not represent all of the men on this planet. It also amuses me how you constantly lambast a select category of women who have casual sex with plenty of men in their college years, despite you being one of those who upholds casual sex with a variety of women as the gold standard of dating life. I suppose it isn't the women having lots of casual sex in college that bothers you, so much as the fact that they aren't having it with you?
harnold Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Commuting is a totally different lifestyle. I was going to make a comment on this. Does anyone else feel like commuters are usually the relationship types, whereas on-campus students are moreso the casual hookup types?
ThaWholigan Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 As I have said several times before, I absolutely agree that there are some men who want casual sex with plenty of women and can't get it. You and your friends would fall in that category, yes. Fortunately you and your friends do not represent all of the men on this planet. It also amuses me how you constantly lambast a select category of women who have casual sex with plenty of men in their college years, despite you being one of those who upholds casual sex with a variety of women as the gold standard of dating life. I suppose it isn't the women having lots of casual sex in college that bothers you, so much as the fact that they aren't having it with you? I often disagree with this guy, but I don't recall him ever upholding casual sex as gold standard - in fact, I may be wrong but I think he has specified that it is not something that he is particularly a fan of himself .
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I've gone to a couple of Jr Colleges and I'm currently at a university getting ready to graduate. I'd be happy with whatever lets me have sex with a girl. If she only wants to have sex in a relationship. Great. If she only wants a casual thing. Great. I don't care and would take what ever is on the table. Sadly nothing is ever on the table and I'm hungry
Els Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I often disagree with this guy, but I don't recall him ever upholding casual sex as gold standard - in fact, I may be wrong but I think he has specified that it is not something that he is particularly a fan of himself . Fairly certain that he has mentioned several times, especially in the Friends with Women thread, that his goal is to find out how to have sex with a wide variety of women without needing to commit.
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