If You Lose Interest After A Few Dates, Be An Adult and Tell Them

[pbjbear]

I will admit I did this when I was younger. Since the age of 23 though, now I tell every guy when I am no longer interested and if they press for reasons I am blatantly honest. Some of which arent nice (because alot of guys I turn down seem to be total a-holes)

 

I have gotten alot of "thank you for being honest" comments and alot of "youre a bitch" comments

 

Ironically I have yet to have a guy do the same for me...they all just fade out, become flakey, or ignore me...and I date men usually in their late 20's

[Casablanca]

I think it's immature to want some one to sit you down and explain why they don't find you attractive or to call you up and say "I don't want to date you!"

 

I mean if they call you up and say "I don't want to date you" do they then get to hang up with out your ego being hurt? When you start asking "why" and telling her "you seemed so happy I don't get it" do they than owe it to you to stay on the phone and explain. Isn't it very obvious they don't like you any more when this happens.

 

I think OP needs to be an Adult and not let this kind of thing get him down. Not bad mouth people for obviously not wanting to date him anymore as though they were bad people.

It is just courteous to tell someone you're not interested anymore if you two have been out on a few dates. They don't have to explain, they just have to tell you and be done with. Quick 30 second phone call.

 

Most times I understand and am okay with it, this one was out of the blue based on all her actions and words, not to mention she wanted the same courtesy of being told if I lost interested, she told me as much. Even had she just said she lost interest, I would have left it at that, thanked her and hung up.

 

I don't think she is a bad person, I just think she has some maturity issues; she said she wanted to be told if I lost interest ASAP and that she would do the same, but then she didn't actually go through with that. Her word isn't very strong.

 

I know I appreciate a quick 30 second call if I've had a few dates with someone and they aren't interested. This isn't a one date flake, that is what ever and I imagine most people would just rather be told and get it over with than just wondering if she is blowing me off or just super busy.

[Imajerk17]

So how did you and she meet?

 

I agree that her behavior was extremely rude. I wonder if she suddenly reconnected with an ex in the meanwhile though. She might have blocked you on FB because there are things there she doesn't want you to see. Have you heard anything from her since?

 

On second thought sounds to me that she suddenly got cold feet about the whole thing, and as she was the one driving things, is too embarrassed to tell you.

Edited January 22, 2013 by Imajerk17

[mortensorchid]

That's terrible, Casablanca! I agree completely, but this person sounds like a particularly unstable or immature person. You're better off without her, but if I agree with things. If you loose interest, be a man/woman and tell them rather than hang them out to dry wondering for a few days. You'll be better off in the long run and feel better about yourself for doing the right thing rather than hide like a coward.

[Casablanca]

On second thought sounds to me that she suddenly got cold feet about the whole thing, and as she was the one driving things, is too embarrassed to tell you.

That or perhaps she reconnected with an ex. She asked me if she was a rebound and I told her no (which I've never had a woman ask me that before), she said I wasn't either (of course her word doesnt seem that reliable), perhaps that was her worrying about being a rebound because I was a potential rebound?

 

Oh well...it's odd, I've never had a case like it, I've had someone flake or lose interest, but not after the amount of interest I saw from her. So thankfully I don't see something quite like this happening again to me.