Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Title says it all. I was talking with someone for the last three weeks, we had 4 dates, she was all into me through Saturday and then disappeared these last two days. I am totally in shock as we talked about our potential, prospective dates in future like mini vacations (brought up by her). What really pisses me off is she specifically told me to tell her if I lose interest to let her know and she said she'd do the same to me. Instead disappearing act and defriending on facebook (which is what finally told me she was done) Sure it isn't fun, it isn't easy, but just call up the person and tell them; it only takes a half a minute and it will let the other person be at ease and stop wondering what happened. I just did it with another woman a couple weeks ago I had 3 dates with, I could have disappeared, but I called her up and let her know I wasn't interested. PS - I know facebook isn't the end all be all and people should take it with a grain of salt, but if she found and friended me, and now I find we are not friends, but she is still on facebook, that is a pretty clear indication.
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Damn that sucks I hate when that happens. People take the easy route in these situations most of the time unfortunately.
2sure Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 That is awful. I've done it and learned not to do it. I learned years ago that it was much easier to have a sincere and nice conversation than to avoid. I would be furious.
ScienceGal Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 What an immature coward! Don't get discouraged... She is just one person.
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I would be furious. I am because she told me should would tell me if she lost interest (and I would have told her like she asked me)...after a first date and I don't hear back, I can deal with that, but after 4 dates, I'm owed a call on the phone. She is also 27, if it was someone say 21 I wouldnt be nearly as shocked or furiated (I've actually had someone she was 21 and I was 23 dump me through facebook message, I was her first boyfriend, so I shouldn't be overly shocked based on her experiences or lack there of, I knew it was coming as she barely responded to me and even had a day where I didn't hear from her at all)
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 *Waiting for people to start defending the girl.* Yup, she's an immature punk.
phineas Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Hence why I keep my options open until we are in some kind of official relationship. Or i'm getting some. what happened most likely is some other guy she was talking to/dating came through & she wanted him more. That's how it always seems to go in my experience when this happens. A few times though, the woman just wasn't ready & freaked out then went *poof* on me.
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 What an immature coward! Don't get discouraged... She is just one person. Thanks, I'm not going to. This one stung a lot as I was really starting to find myself attracted to her, I got all kinds of signs and verbal and physical signs that she was too and I had a sense of youthfulness that I hadn't felt in a long time. Oh well....there are others out there. I've texted her just asking what happened and that I am owed an explanation even if it is just that she lost interest. (no response) If she is truly this immature, it is for the best.
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Hence why I keep my options open until we are in some kind of official relationship. Or i'm getting some. what happened most likely is some other guy she was talking to/dating came through & she wanted him more. That's how it always seems to go in my experience when this happens. A few times though, the woman just wasn't ready & freaked out then went *poof* on me. I don't think it was another guy, it would have been hard for her to fit in another guy with her work schedule, and she straight volunteered that that she wasn't talking to anyone else and that she only talked with one guy at a time. I guess that could have been a lie, oh well
skylark100 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I feel bad for you buddy. I too take the high road with the ladies. But, they seem to have immunity when it comes to 'ending things' Apparently, it's too much to ask for a little closure. It doesn't have to be a long diatribe, just a small, I'm sorry, i'm just not interested anymore. The ironic part, is that if you actually call the girl out, it's all your fault for not figuring it out on your own. Now it's not every girl that is like this, I am sure there are some who are classy and do it the right way...It's just that I have yet to meet one. Be happy that it was only 4 dates. Also, be happy that you're not stuck with a person who is so cowardly as to unfriend you on facebook. Imagine what would happen when the goings get tough....
2sure Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I guess you're a gentleman . I would text her: hey, no hard feelings. But if you get your tits fixed call me ok?
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Now it's not every girl that is like this, I am sure there are some who are classy and do it the right way...It's just that I have yet to meet one. I've had a couple tell me straight up, but I've had many more flakes, some which I understood and I could tell, but a few which were like a semi blind siding me (last one included)
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I had this happen to me (which is actually one of the reasons I joined LS in the first place). Went out twice, made plans for date 3 she even told me she was "very flexible" in terms of scheduling (i.e. sounded like she really wanted me to ask her out). Then the day of date 3 cancels, then wouldn't return my calls, then defriended (and blocked) me on facebook. I have no idea what happened. That was February 2011, the last time I've been on a date.
Malia25 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 PS - I know facebook isn't the end all be all and people should take it with a grain of salt, but if she found and friended me, and now I find we are not friends, but she is still on facebook, that is a pretty clear indication. Same thing happened to me. =/ He also added me and subsequently deleted me after a month of not hearing from him. Oh, this was after he posted up a pic of him and his new gf. Nice! I was relieved to have my answer, but also understandably uspet. It's just so.....rude. lol And like you, I asked him if he had let other girls in the past know that he was no longer interested - and he said yes. But he didn't extend that same courtesy to me, even though I helped him out during a really difficult time. I had it in my head after that, that guys were pure grade A a-holes. I've slowly knocked down those walls, but it's a work in progress. But if there is one great lesson I've learned from all this....it's that I will always let someone I'm no longer interested in KNOW what's going on. It certainly saves a lot of heartache and confusion for both parties.
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 And like you, I asked him if he had let other girls in the past know that he was no longer interested - and he said yes. But he didn't extend that same courtesy to me, even though I helped him out during a really difficult time. I had it in my head after that, that guys were pure grade A a-holes. I've slowly knocked down those walls, but it's a work in progress. But if there is one great lesson I've learned from all this....it's that I will always let someone I'm no longer interested in KNOW what's going on. It certainly saves a lot of heartache and confusion for both parties. The one difference is you asked him, this girl asked me and told me she would tell me if she lost interest, she volunteered it, your guy may have just said it to say it. I believe in Karma, keep up what your doing and it will all work out
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I had this happen to me (which is actually one of the reasons I joined LS in the first place). Went out twice, made plans for date 3 she even told me she was "very flexible" in terms of scheduling (i.e. sounded like she really wanted me to ask her out). Then the day of date 3 cancels, then wouldn't return my calls, then defriended (and blocked) me on facebook. I have no idea what happened. That was February 2011, the last time I've been on a date. I don't think I'm gonna get an answer to my question from her, as I did text her and just asked what happened. If it was something I did, I'd like to know so I could avoid it in the future, though lack of response hints to me that it wasn't anything I did. I just don't understand how someone can show so much interest and then lose it in the matter of hours I will text her one last time tomorrow if she doesnt answer my question just reminding her that if she wants someone to tell her if they lose interest that she should probably do the same then delete the number
JDP25 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I hate that immaturity non-sense with a passion, not being straight with a person. I have no problem telling a person, if I am interested or not. When I see cowardly actions from a person not being upfront. I see that as weakness with in that person. So than later I do loose interest and it will be me telling them good bye. The person that started this thread. If I read one of your post right? I saw that your falling for her more. Don't have your "man balls" be taken, if you get all head over heels with her. Forget about calling yourself a man. I would rather be straight forward and honest than sit in the dark.
ascendotum Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I guess you're a gentleman . I would text her: hey, no hard feelings. But if you get your tits fixed call me ok? I like your style. Its a little snarky, but I think she should not get away with doing what she herself hates. (and hopefully gets blessed with it in the future) Though its a little late as he has already asked her 'was something I did'. After 4 dates, I think its piss weak to give OP the hint she is not interested in him anymore, by de-friending him on FB and ignoring his calls. I'd let her know this in a txt or if you can get through to her on her work number then vent on a call.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Sometimes I think when some women leave men hanging like this it's not weak, it's deliberate. They're making a statement on how they feel about you as a person (beyond just a romantic prospect).
TheZebra Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Not trying to one up you, but one of my exes broke up with me by defriending me on FB. I had no idea I was single until I went to write him something. Granted, we were both 18 at the time, but still. Some people suck.
Author Casablanca Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Sometimes I think when some women leave men hanging like this it's not weak, it's deliberate. They're making a statement on how they feel about you as a person (beyond just a romantic prospect). I could see that if a guy treated them badly, but I'm not that kind of guy and have never been
2sure Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Sometimes I think when some women leave men hanging like this it's not weak, it's deliberate. They're making a statement on how they feel about you as a person (beyond just a romantic prospect). No! Please dont take things that personally, from someone who behaved that badly. Chalk it up to a woman being rude, non confrontational, weak, and insecure. Any reason a person comes up with to dismiss someone like that is simply justification for really bad manners.
sabre80 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It is not nearly as infuriating as when they go all Houdini on you then a month later call you up with some BS about being busy and "life has been crazy". As if I am that pathetic to be ok with you coming back to me as a second choice because things did not work out with your better option. Though immature I kind of giggle at this one time a girl did this to me and I insisted that she need to take ME out and chase me this time. She agreed. Took me to a nice restaurant then to play billiards for a while. She took care of all the bills. Then I never returned her call. Was nice to be on the other side of the table for a change.
filani Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 What an immature coward! Don't get discouraged... She is just one person. Damn right she's immature and a coward. Heck, even the cowardly lion from the wizard of Oz would totally be ashamed of her for such a lame move. @ casa blanca Don't make any attempt to contact that walking disgrace to good women everywhere ,she's not worth your time.
2sure Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Again, I have to hand it to you guys and to many men in general. I couldnt do it. This forum has given me new , kind of inside, perspective. I repect you younger guys for figuring it out. So many things I never thought of, just took for granted. I want to text my daughter at high school and tell her to be nicer to guys!
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