jadlh78 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I knew from the beginning not to get involved with a coworker, let alone one that is recently divorced, but for the first time in year I enjoyed someone's company. Looking back all the signs of failure were right there in front of me. Things were hot and heavy with her, let's call her JB, from day one. Like all beginning relationships, we spent all our time together at and away from work. Our interests were soo similar it was uncanny, and we both knew this relationship couldnt be too serious given certain personal issue we both had before seeing each other. Then things started to change just as fast as tbey started. On a trip to the coast, she started to become distant. All of a sudden, she started talking a about another coworker, call him CG, cause he's not going away anytime in this story. So the trip ended up being massively uncomfortable, so we went home instead of staying the weekend. The next week, I received some disappointing news on a job i thought I was a shoe in to get. I was distraught and decided to leave work early. When i told JB what happened and why I was leaving she said "why is it bothering you? You said you weren't going to get it." I was hurt and didn't even bother replying to her comment. Hours later i got text from her with a half hearted apology. Time past, and one day we went out I asked her why she has been soo distant lately. There was a look of fear in her eyes with the phrase "oh, no"'before i askedmmy question. I knew then she was terrified that three months into dating i was going to say "I love you," I didn't just wanted an explanation for the recent cold streak. Side note, I did love her before that moment, but i knew i could not say it. The next day at work it hit the fan. She completely pulled away and started avoiding me. But every break or opportunity to talk about what is going on, she was with CG. When i finally got some alone time with her, I went to give her a kiss and she turned away. So, i figured we were done and left her alone. The rest of that week karma struck hard against JB. I kept my distance while all tbis bad luck was happening to her, and of course I was blammed for not being there for her! You got to be kidding, I have a bad day and you told me to let it go, but i have to support you when crap happens to you. So, we ended up at dinner which i thought we would try to resolve our issues. Well, it was odd. We agreed to start over again, which i took away as we started off to fast, let's try again at a different pace. She walked away as we had a conversation to just be friends. The just friends line never came up im conversation. So a few months past with a somewhat similar pattern, i left her alone, she accused me of being a snob or hating her. Every once in awhile we'd go out, she'd expect me to hold her hand and kiss her goodnight, which confused and bothered me. Then she would go back to saying i hate her at work, asking me to take the knife out of back or stop it with the voodoo doll. She still makes those references. But, when we go out to a bar with coworkers, she brings upa one night stand i had months after we broke up the entire evening. Of course, i have to drive her home because she drank too much. Later she has one of i have to have you moments in the car. At this point i have a problem, first she's been drinking so I'm not going to believe her affection is genuine, and second what's her motive? Now we're current, she's back to being cold actually colder than usual. This time her behavior at work is starting to bother me. She hangs out with CG in a way that the others think she's fooling around with him. I don't know if its true or not, but her behavior with him waslike it was in the beginning with me. I know it shouldn't bother me, but this guy has a kid with his girlfriend that he still lives with. I guess this whole rant boils down tk these few questions. Why did my relationship with JB end? Why does she have these thoughts that i hate when it's obvious she has some hatred or resentment towards me?
will1988 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Because she is a nuts divorce'! That is why she is the way she is! Lots of divorce' are like this! I'd say your best bet is to put on a fake smile and be nice to her at work, but just as a co-worker friend.... but do not hang out with her out side of work. You may never know why she is the way she is. But you messed up, never sh*t where you eat! Eitherway, your only option now it to be fake, but to otherwise avoid and ignore her. Good luck!
Author jadlh78 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Thanks for the advice, It turns out now she has been a little more friendly on the job, but I know it's totally fake. Since my post, my life and especially my career have improved immensely. Her interest is purely competitive since she always had to one up me some way or another. No matter, I don't hang out with her anymore, I don't communicate outside of work, and at work I put on the fake smile and just keep nodding. The changes in my life have made this situation easier for me. With a new focus on career and plenty of activities which I'm meeting new people all the time, I don't have time for the drama anymore. Life's good right now, and it's going to take work to make it better. 1
tbf Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Yes, yes, yes! Great attitude. She sounds like a nutbar.
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