BiancaLDN Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Been sitting here reading some posts, and was curious as to what works better in terms of trying to win someone back...I'm not planning on trying, I'm just bored, can't sleep etc. Is it better to act like you don't need the person? Or is it better to be honest, write a letter or something, telling them how you feel? What would win YOU back?
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Nothing. I learned that once it's over, it is over. Sorry.
Author BiancaLDN Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Nothing. I learned that once it's over, it is over. Sorry. Yep, it certainly is. I have no intentions of trying, I was just curious as there seems to be a 50/50 split on these forums.
Samilia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Been sitting here reading some posts, and was curious as to what works better in terms of trying to win someone back...I'm not planning on trying, I'm just bored, can't sleep etc. Is it better to act like you don't need the person? Or is it better to be honest, write a letter or something, telling them how you feel? What would win YOU back? Letter, most likely bad idea. Letters and begging always are a bad idea, unless specific situation. Showing them you don't need them to be happy, better course of action.
Author BiancaLDN Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Letter, most likely bad idea. Letters and begging always are a bad idea, unless specific situation. Showing them you don't need them to be happy, better course of action. What about a letter of apology, for something you've done wrong?
Samilia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 What about a letter of apology, for something you've done wrong? My guess is that he blamed the break up on something you did to justify his decision, probably something silly, a scapegoat. Or is it something more serious? Anyway, no, it wouldn't help. If any conversation would have to occur at all, it should be face to face. But honestly if he just broke up I wouldn't try to have any heavy conversation at all.. let it be.. don't "act" like you don't need him, you really don't.
Author BiancaLDN Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 My guess is that he blamed the break up on something you did to justify his decision, probably something silly, a scapegoat. Or is it something more serious? Anyway, no, it wouldn't help. If any conversation would have to occur at all, it should be face to face. But honestly if he just broke up I wouldn't try to have any heavy conversation at all.. let it be.. don't "act" like you don't need him, you really don't. Something like this. I'm not even going to attempt to get in contact, I'm just actually interested in the whole dumpee/dumper NC thing now, it's very complex. I think me, as a person would appreciate someone going to the effort of writing a letter, but the general consensus is that it's not the best thing to do.
Samilia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Something like this. I'm not even going to attempt to get in contact, I'm just actually interested in the whole dumpee/dumper NC thing now, it's very complex. I think me, as a person would appreciate someone going to the effort of writing a letter, but the general consensus is that it's not the best thing to do. uh? Why would you appreciate a letter from the person you dumped? Come on now.
na49 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You contact them: You push them further away. You look desperate and annoying to them. They lose respect for you. You don't contact them: They think you never cared about them. They think you never loved them. They wonder why you aren't contacting them. They lose respect for you. 1
Author BiancaLDN Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 uh? Why would you appreciate a letter from the person you dumped? Come on now. LOL. When you put it like that
Leigh 87 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 In terms of how you feel: sure, if you happen to run into the ex, it DOES feel bloody good to have lost some weight and gotten noticibly fitter and healthier. It does feel better if they have an unattractive new girl. Those are emotions you cannot control, for the part! However, you CAN control what position you put yourself in. You have to go no contact, and that way you only get to FEEL extra good if you run into him and your looking good. Natural desires to look good in front of an ex are fine! As long as it is NOT planned. Making him want you, or making him think ANYTHING should NEVER be an objective. To heal the fastest, you must just ignore them at all costs, until your indifferent. The best advice in terms of a break up is to get fitter and healthier for yourself, as it will literally elevate your mood (which you sure need after a break up!) .....Think in your MIND, if you must, of how good it will feel to run into your ex, look fantastic, and have him talk to you and tell you how much he wants you back.. But keep it to a fantasy, and know that your AIM is to not focus on getting them back. Sure, it will always be flattering and feel good for an ex to come running back, for most people, however; keep it as FANTASY. Yes, it will feel good, but keep it to thoughts only, and hopefully the more time away from him, the less you will have those thoughts.
MyAngel Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 You contact them: You push them further away. You look desperate and annoying to them. They lose respect for you. You don't contact them: They think you never cared about them. They think you never loved them. They wonder why you aren't contacting them. They lose respect for you. Yes! Exactly. Can't win.
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