Nice guy 12 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Hey guys new member here and need some advice. I'll keep it short. I meet a girl and knew she was married so we just talked for 4 straight hours and just hit it off. She told me the next day all she can do is think about me. So we talked some more. And two weeks later had sex. We said let's take this week by week. Well. We feel in love with each other. We did everything together this lasted for 15 months. She even filed for divorce but then two months later cancelled it and said to me. She needs to figure out her feelings towards this guy and she feels if the marriage can be saved it should be and she needs to do this on her own with out me around and she needs to see him for him with out me. She said. If I have to learn the hard then I will but there's nothing I can do she has to do this on her own. She told me she has a lot of guilt. And if she gives her marriage 100 percent and it isn't best for then she can leave him with no guilt. What do you guys think. Thank you for reading
somedude81 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Most important question. What do you want?
Realist3 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It is her decision what she decides to do for herself, just as it is your decision to do what you want to do for yourself.
Lillyfree Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 She has a right to withdraw contact. You have the right not to wait. That's all. Everything else is just rationalization. most people come here to get help with rationalising OP, she could have the best intentions with trying to make sure there is nothing for her in her marriage before she leaves. however, the fact that she's trying to work it out with her husband says it all: her marriage is the priority. did you set a time period for NC?
jwi71 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Hey guys new member here and need some advice. I'll keep it short. I meet a girl and knew she was married so we just talked for 4 straight hours and just hit it off. She told me the next day all she can do is think about me. So we talked some more. And two weeks later had sex. We said let's take this week by week. Well. We feel in love with each other. We did everything together this lasted for 15 months. She even filed for divorce but then two months later cancelled it and said to me. She needs to figure out her feelings towards this guy and she feels if the marriage can be saved it should be and she needs to do this on her own with out me around and she needs to see him for him with out me. She said. If I have to learn the hard then I will but there's nothing I can do she has to do this on her own. She told me she has a lot of guilt. And if she gives her marriage 100 percent and it isn't best for then she can leave him with no guilt. What do you guys think. Thank you for reading She's saying: "I'm going to work on my M so I won't contact you. However, feel free to wait in case it doesn't and I decide to contact you" Its your life - wait or not is up to you. Personally I wouldn't just of self-respect. 1
whichwayisup Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 She needs to figure out her feelings towards this guy and she feels if the marriage can be saved it should be and she needs to do this on her own with out me around This guy is her husband. And yes, she does need to not be around you so she can figure out what she feels towards her husband. Obviously she still has feelings for him otherwise the divorce would have happened. I hope you respect her wishes and leave her alone so she can figure out what she wants to do. 1
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