syw0806 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 This guy and I've been dating for about two month..exclusively. we usually see eachother 2-3 times a week.. we live about an hour away. It feels like recently he's been very distant.. He is saying he has been busy with his work.. I understand him being busy, but he's been not answering my calls few times..(not even call them back) Today when I talked to him on the phone, he said he's been alot going on with his work that he won't be able to see me today, so I asked him if he is trying to break up with me. also I told him I understand you are being busy, but you seemed distant lately and I want you to tell me if that's(breaking up) is what you want. He said no. and said I'm being silly.. well he actually tried to see me last night and asked me to stay over at his place(not bootycall we haven't had sex and I stayed over at his few times before.) but I couldnt... I'm so confused.. another thing is I figured he logs on to dating website when he has free time. well that time he usually reaches me..but then now I'm worrying if he is cheating on me and dating other girls... I mean if that's what he wants, why wouldn't he just break up with me.. am I being paranoid here or do you guys think he is letting me down slowly? why can't he just say let's break up?
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I'm all confused now. Does he still go on dating sites or are you just guessing? How do you know you guys are exclusive? Too many assumptions and honestly... you sound like you are over thinking things.
Author syw0806 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 I'm all confused now. Does he still go on dating sites or are you just guessing? How do you know you guys are exclusive? Too many assumptions and honestly... you sound like you are over thinking things. you know me haha I know I'm over thinking things.. I cannot help myself being paranoid! sadly it's not my guess, he does log in everyday.. He asked me to be exclusive. well he told me that he would check emails or pokes from girls from the site, but he wouldn't see any other besides me, and said he wants to see how things go with me. now he went to another state for his work and coming back two days later.. ugh hope everything settles down when I finally see him haha thanks!
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Gut feelings are simply wonderful. I wonder why people don't listen to them more? Distance in time and miles, distance in emotion, work is keeping him busy.... still on a dating site 'to check traffic'.... Right. You guys are sooo exclusive, it's killin' me.... Which of the above flags would you like me to flap first? 4
veggirl Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 uh yeah you guys are not exclusive if he is still on a dating site. most likely he is dating/sleeping with other girls from there that live closer, or is on the hunt for girls who live closer. just dump him. if he was into this relationship, he wouldn't be on a dating site period. and he'd want to see you and talk to you.
Author syw0806 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Then why can't he just ignore all my calls and call it done...??? If it's that he's not being loyal, it really is going to be hard for me to deal with....ugh.. I wish I'm just being paranoid and he is just busy and being insensitive.. because I kinda sense that he was like that before too... Is he just keeping me for just in case or what..? we haven't even had sex when we met so it's not booty call or something..but why would he still keep me?
Lani Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Here's something I've learnt- guys can be very gutless. They will act like idiots and babies when they decide they don't want to be with you, so that instead of having to break up with you, they make you break up with them. He's being a distant pain in the a**, so you will have enough of him and break it off. Then he can say it's not his fault, and you broke up with him. It's annoying, but I think you need to play it this time and break it off. If he's still on an OLD site, and is checking that, he's keeping his options open and isn't that keen on you anyway. 3
Author syw0806 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Here's something I've learnt- guys can be very gutless. They will act like idiots and babies when they decide they don't want to be with you, so that instead of having to break up with you, they make you break up with them. He's being a distant pain in the a**, so you will have enough of him and break it off. Then he can say it's not his fault, and you broke up with him. It's annoying, but I think you need to play it this time and break it off. If he's still on an OLD site, and is checking that, he's keeping his options open and isn't that keen on you anyway. I have another question though..so he knew I was upset on friday, so he tried to call me in the sat. morning, sent me few texts that day (I forgot to bring my phone to work so I didn't know that all) the last text, he sounded like he was upset that I didn't reach him.. then he was working full sun. so I wasn't able to talk enough to him, then he asked me to meet up later for dinner which I couldn't make it... do you think he would send me few texts even he's trying to be distant? it happend yesterday ad the day before,, he called me in the morning, then one text at 2 the other at 3,4,5... so I actually thought..well wanted to belive haha he is into this relationship..
Lani Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It's the whole online dating thing that baffles me. How can he expect you to be exclusive, if he's still using one? In my opinion, thats not ok. But if thats something you're cool with, then I guess hang in there and see if things improve. It does sound like he's trying to make more of an effort, so maybe give him a chance.
AMusing Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 How long is "recently" when you say he's recently gotten busy at work? Did he warn you ahead of time that work would be especially stressful for a while? You can usually tell when work is a genuine priority at the moment, and when it's just an excuse not to see you. Just listen to logic, not fear (or wishful thinking). More importantly, have you called bull**** on the "I'm just on the OLD site to check emails and pokes from other girls" claim? Because, yeah, that's bull****. If he's actually exclusively with you, he shouldn't care what other women are emailing or poking him.
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