whateveralready Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 It's been a few weeks since the crap hit the fan with me and the ex but his birthday is this week and it's a milestone one. We had plans to celebrate it which of course isn't going to happen now. I was wondering if I should break the NC rule and text him Happy Birthday and nothing else. Just Happy Birthday. I'm not trying to get his attention or try to start something up again and I wish him well amd hope he gets his life/the help he needs even though he screwed me over. I'm getting yes and no from friends and I'm not sure. What do you think?
NoMoreJerks Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 My advice: no. Stick to NC, and stop thinking about that stuff.
LostOne1 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Honestly truth don't do it. My ex's bday is coming up in a few days too. I was debating for awhile now. But I realized it isn't worth it. She didn't txt me during xmas and new yrs, so why should I text on her bday? I mean it's over and SHE wanted me out of her life. So why should I go back in now? I would say as hard as it is and even will be for me. There is NO point in texting and I would LEAVE it.
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Ditto to NoMoreJerks. Your inner motive is not really to wish him a happy birthday. it's actually to pop up on his radar and stimulate some interest. Maybe get a 'thank you' text, then that means channels of communication could be re-opened..... right? Absolutely NOT. There is absolutely no logical reason whatsoever why you need to break the No Contact rule. And TbH, you are not the first to ask about the Happy Birthday/Christmas/Easter/New Year greeting... and whatever the occasion, it's still the same reply, to you, and to anyone else. Don't Do It. Those days came and went without you before, they have to now. 3
na49 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I'm not trying to get his attention Yes you are. Don't send him anything. 2
cavalier99 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Nope. Silence should be the only b day wish he should receive from you after yanking your heart out of your chest. 6
Samilia Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 It's been a few weeks since the crap hit the fan with me and the ex but his birthday is this week and it's a milestone one. We had plans to celebrate it which of course isn't going to happen now. I was wondering if I should break the NC rule and text him Happy Birthday and nothing else. Just Happy Birthday. I'm not trying to get his attention or try to start something up again and I wish him well amd hope he gets his life/the help he needs even though he screwed me over. I'm getting yes and no from friends and I'm not sure. What do you think? Nop, that's an excuse, I know it and you know it. 1
veggirl Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 do not do it. you are lying to yourself if you honestly think you don't want a reaction from him. you will send the text then sit by your phone feeling anxious and scared waiting for a text back. sending happy bday won't make you look like the bigger person, won't make you look like you've moved on, won't look casual...it will look needy and like you can't forget him. 2
hudson701 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Honestly truth don't do it. My ex's bday is coming up in a few days too. I was debating for awhile now. But I realized it isn't worth it. She didn't txt me during xmas and new yrs, so why should I text on her bday? I mean it's over and SHE wanted me out of her life. So why should I go back in now? I would say as hard as it is and even will be for me. There is NO point in texting and I would LEAVE it. Identical situation to mine. Didn't receive Xmas or NYE texts, which quite frankly disgusted and really hurt me. Her birthday is coming up, shortly followed by mine- both milestones. I will not be texting happy birthday as she couldn't even muster the decency to wish me well over the holidays. She wanted me out of her life, she got her wish. 2
LostOne1 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Identical situation to mine. Didn't receive Xmas or NYE texts, which quite frankly disgusted and really hurt me. Her birthday is coming up, shortly followed by mine- both milestones. I will not be texting happy birthday as she couldn't even muster the decency to wish me well over the holidays. She wanted me out of her life, she got her wish. EXACTLY man.. that's how it should be. That is the KEY thing I remind myself. I wish I had done this the day we BU, but I wasn't in a clear state of mind to see it. But it's EXACTLY what we do.. THEY want the SPACE and BU from us.. GIVE it to them! Now they have ALL the space and time they could ever want without us. So let's give them that! My ex can finally enjoy her bday without me and I could care less. She wanted me out and now she can celebrate it with anyone.. it means nothing to me now.
CLove105 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Nope. I did not wish my ex a happy birthday last year when we were on the outs and he later told me that it really ruined his birthday. Let them wallow in their misery.
Author whateveralready Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Ok, I'm not going to break the rule. Thanks everyone! 1
Yamcha Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Ok, I'm not going to break the rule. Thanks everyone!Great idea. A good rule of thumb is that if you question whether you should break NC, the best course of action is to avoid doing so.
flitzanu Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It's been a few weeks since the crap hit the fan with me and the ex but his birthday is this week and it's a milestone one. We had plans to celebrate it which of course isn't going to happen now. I was wondering if I should break the NC rule and text him Happy Birthday and nothing else. Just Happy Birthday. I'm not trying to get his attention or try to start something up again and I wish him well amd hope he gets his life/the help he needs even though he screwed me over. I'm getting yes and no from friends and I'm not sure. What do you think? no. you shouldn't. regardless of what you're saying to us and to yourself, you're HOPING for a reaction, and trying to find a valid reason to reach out. so, again, no, do not.
Ariella1984 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My ex's birthday is tomorrow. January must be ********* month. Oh, and I am most definitely NOT going to text him.
flitzanu Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My ex's birthday is tomorrow. January must be ********* month. Oh, and I am most definitely NOT going to text him. hey! no. my bday is in 5 days! ;p aquarians are just harder to deal with and need more space than most people.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 My ex's birthday is tomorrow. January must be ********* month. Oh, and I am most definitely NOT going to text him. I wish my ex's birthday were in January. At least then, I would not have wasted $130 on a birthday present he did not deserve. :mad:
Ariella1984 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 hey! no. my bday is in 5 days! ;p aquarians are just harder to deal with and need more space than most people. Happy early Birthday 1
Ariella1984 Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 I wish my ex's birthday were in January. At least then, I would not have wasted $130 on a birthday present he did not deserve. :mad: Ugh. That sucks. I kind of know the feeling as I had already bought his Christmas present and he dumped me days before, so I felt like a fool. Luckily I could return it. Yup, today is his 30th birthday, and I was planning on throwing him a little surprise dinner with a bunch of our friends. Now, I'm spending today in a coffee shop typing on loveshack and then heading to my therapy appt. Funny how things can change so fast.
flitzanu Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 Happy early Birthday thanks ;0 your ex sounds like a jerk.
DrStrangelove Posted January 23, 2013 Posted January 23, 2013 With everyone else - do not contact. It will only make it tougher, because if he replies or doesn't you are going to subconsciously start stirring up thoughts. Stay strong - let it pass. P.S. if I could get some love on my thread, would be appreciated.
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