Amelie1980 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Has anyone ever actually regretted breaking up with someone? Say you ended up in another relationship in the future & then realised that what you had with the person you split with was actually better? Etc....
NoMoreJerks Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Not personally, but I have had friends who have done that and regretted it deeply, but their ex did not want to get back with them anymore. Serves them right, to be honest -- sure, they are my friends, but don't ever do anything that you will regret soon enough. Think well about what you want to do, take the time, and don't act like an impulsive dick / bitch. From what I have seen, regrets are usually strongest in cases where the break-up was done impulsively , because the person thought the other person was too much hassle / stress to deal with, etc. And then they realized all relationships are like that, that the problem was that THEY viewed it as a hassle, and that they actually had it really good with that person they dumped.
LostOne1 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Not personally, but I have had friends who have done that and regretted it deeply, but their ex did not want to get back with them anymore. Serves them right, to be honest -- sure, they are my friends, but don't ever do anything that you will regret soon enough. Think well about what you want to do, take the time, and don't act like an impulsive dick / bitch. From what I have seen, regrets are usually strongest in cases where the break-up was done impulsively , because the person thought the other person was too much hassle / stress to deal with, etc. And then they realized all relationships are like that, that the problem was that THEY viewed it as a hassle, and that they actually had it really good with that person they dumped. See I think my ex thinks this way too. That all relationships are perfect. But they are not! She expects she will meet a guy and they will NEVER fight and everything will be her way. And I think one day she will realize it's ALL the same. The fact is I was the only guy she's met so far that DID stuff for her and MADE her feel worth it. All her ex's just threw her away like garbage. So I was shocked she did the same too me.
ItxWillxGetxBetter Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Not to give you false hope but I have. It's not really regret I would say. I'm not sure exactly what it was. I had left a previous ex when I met someone new who I thought I was compatible with. I left my (at the time) current gf to be with the new girl. Well about 6 mos to a year down the road when all the freshness wore off I realized that maybe I should have married my former ex because out of everyone I've dated she and i got along the best. I dont necessarily regret it but it did occupy my mind for a month or two. As it turns out I dodged a bullet because that ex was psycho and i didnt know it.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 No. I can look back with nostalgia at the good times, but if I broke up, it's because it was not working anymore, if it ever had. The only regrets I have are for things I did that I know were wrong.
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Never. I've turned the situation into a liberating education. I have, however had a couple of times when I regretted NOT breaking up with them first - manipulative, cheating jerks..... 2
candie13 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Yes and No. There were a few guys I've left that I really cared for and were / are very special to me. While I really wish things had gone differently, I am very much aware of why I've left them and am convinced that I've done the right thing. Can't save people from whom they really are! No, no regrets, really... except, maybe I should have left sooner... but that's about it. 1
LostOne1 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 No. I can look back with nostalgia at the good times, but if I broke up, it's because it was not working anymore, if it ever had. The only regrets I have are for things I did that I know were wrong. do you ever think those things you did that were wrong.. maybe could've fixed the relationship? I guess what I am getting at is.. I think when people BU that after a few months they BOTH see the things they did wrong. Which makes me wonder if those were the things they want to improve on and those things lead to a BU then isn't that fixable? Or do people shrug it and say on to the next one and make those improvements later? I guess I kinda like ItxWillxGetxBetter's POV. That sometimes you just click with someone so well, that when you are away from them for awhile you realize you did click well.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 do you ever think those things you did that were wrong.. maybe could've fixed the relationship? No, not in the cases I'm thinking of. The relationships were broken and needed to end. Or the timing was wrong. They were not to be anymore. My own bad behavior was not the cause, or a result. I just regret not acting honorably and / or doing destructive things, including to myself, in any area of my life. Not just in a past relationship.
NoMoreJerks Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 (edited) See I think my ex thinks this way too. That all relationships are perfect. But they are not! She expects she will meet a guy and they will NEVER fight and everything will be her way. And I think one day she will realize it's ALL the same. The fact is I was the only guy she's met so far that DID stuff for her and MADE her feel worth it. All her ex's just threw her away like garbage. So I was shocked she did the same too me. Ditto for mine. He was treated like garbage by his ex'es (according to him anyway), and he was dumped by all of his exes. He never did the dumping (again, according to him). In fact, he was still allegedly not over his last ex (who had dumped him 2 years ago). I treated him so well, appreciated him, loved him, cared for him, got him birthday presents, took care of him when he got sick -- gave him everything a guy could ever ask for : and he just threw me away like garbage.... I think he just wanted to get that out of his system: wanted to do the same to someone that others had done to him. I was the unlucky recipient of his punishment. I recommend that you watch the movie 500 Days of Summer, btw. Edited January 21, 2013 by NoMoreJerks 1
bluefairy812 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 i have a ton of them and they eat me alive everyday. writing this post seriously makes me want to cry and curl up in a corner. i don't know what other way to deal with it other than a) ignoring it or b) accepting it. the acceptance is the worst part. every single day i wish i can go back to the moments i took for granted and wish i could have been a better girlfriend to him and our relationship.
Author Amelie1980 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Not personally, but I have had friends who have done that and regretted it deeply, but their ex did not want to get back with them anymore. Serves them right, to be honest -- sure, they are my friends, but don't ever do anything that you will regret soon enough. Think well about what you want to do, take the time, and don't act like an impulsive dick / bitch. From what I have seen, regrets are usually strongest in cases where the break-up was done impulsively , because the person thought the other person was too much hassle / stress to deal with, etc. And then they realized all relationships are like that, that the problem was that THEY viewed it as a hassle, and that they actually had it really good with that person they dumped. I was with someone who had never had a relationship go past 4 months. So when we broke up, his reasons were ridiculous. Just general relationship stuff that happens to everyone. I almost laughed. I just hope he gets a right bi-ch next time and realises what he's done. I certainly wasn't. it certainly wasn't a bad relationship. 1
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