Star4223 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I have been dating a men for a little over three months. Although we have only been dating for that long we were friends in High School. We connected and have had a really great time. He is very loving and romantic. He always opens doors for me, opens the car door and shuts it for me, takes me to nice resturants or we might just sit at his house and watch a movie and he will buy me a bottle of my favorite wine. This man texts me EVERY morning "Good Morning Baby. I hope you have a great day" just something very sweet. He will text me throught the day with nice messages. He has a few problems that I was not aware of until I really got attached to him. He is having some financial problems and I have told him that its not necessary for him to take me to restaurants that I am happy with us just spending time together. He also has a problem with E D and I understand that being a man that is VERY hard, but I told him we could work threw that together and he seemed ok with that. Last week he blinded sided me when he told me that need a couple of weeks to himself to figure things out. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no he just needs some time ti himself and that he still wanted to communicate with me and that he wouldn't get through this without me. It has been a little over a week and he has been in communication, not as much as normal but he is definitey in touch. I just don't know what to do, we are not seeing each other at all and I just miss his face so much and told him so today. He said that he missed me too. If he misses me then why this separation? How long should I wait for him? What steps shpuld I take at this point? I just need some advice on this i have been out of the dating scene for a while and this is the first man I have really liked in a long time. I just feel heart broken.... Thanks People for Any Advice
flitzanu Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I have been dating a men for a little over three months. Although we have only been dating for that long we were friends in High School. We connected and have had a really great time. He is very loving and romantic. He always opens doors for me, opens the car door and shuts it for me, takes me to nice resturants or we might just sit at his house and watch a movie and he will buy me a bottle of my favorite wine. This man texts me EVERY morning "Good Morning Baby. I hope you have a great day" just something very sweet. He will text me throught the day with nice messages. He has a few problems that I was not aware of until I really got attached to him. He is having some financial problems and I have told him that its not necessary for him to take me to restaurants that I am happy with us just spending time together. He also has a problem with E D and I understand that being a man that is VERY hard, but I told him we could work threw that together and he seemed ok with that. Last week he blinded sided me when he told me that need a couple of weeks to himself to figure things out. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no he just needs some time ti himself and that he still wanted to communicate with me and that he wouldn't get through this without me. It has been a little over a week and he has been in communication, not as much as normal but he is definitey in touch. I just don't know what to do, we are not seeing each other at all and I just miss his face so much and told him so today. He said that he missed me too. If he misses me then why this separation? How long should I wait for him? What steps shpuld I take at this point? I just need some advice on this i have been out of the dating scene for a while and this is the first man I have really liked in a long time. I just feel heart broken.... Thanks People for Any Advice taking a "break" is the same as "breaking up". it just means the person is too chicken to actually break up with you right now.
Author Star4223 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I know you would think so but he texts me all day. If its breaking up then why does he still want to talk? Its just so confusing for me and just not sure exactly what he wants. I did ask him point blank "Do you want to break up and he said no I just want a little time a couple of weeks to get some things together and also said i need you if you aren't here i'm not gonna get through this." I has been very hard for me because he does want contact, but doesnt have time to see me. This just hurts my feelings!
Chi townD Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Yeah! Be honest! Ask him point blank. It isn't fair for you to be in a holding pattern. It isn't fair to held in limbo. You need to ask him, are we going to work through this together as a couple or are we going to part ways? You need either to reconcile this or get closure, one or the other. You need to know where you stand with him.
Author Star4223 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I did ask him that when he came out with this. I feel if I push too hard then I will just push him away. I do feel we are over and I just need to move on, but its just so confusing. It really hurts to not know what happened.
flitzanu Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I did ask him that when he came out with this. I feel if I push too hard then I will just push him away. I do feel we are over and I just need to move on, but its just so confusing. It really hurts to not know what happened. it's not terribly confusing. the best comparison people have given here is, treat it like a job. you just got laid off from your job. you're not there for his emotional support while he works through his dumping you and not spending time with you. i don't believe in FEW if ANY logical reasons why someone "needs time to think". because you know what? this time he's using is him deciding when, how, or why he's breaking up with you or staying. that should be a pretty simple decision right? why are you put on hold for him to decide how to handle it?
puzzled1 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Unfortunately, I was in the same boat at the time of my breakup. She was just "confused" and "needed time for herself" but in all honesty, she was already over our relationship and eventually she broke up with me. So expect the worse so you don't end up in the same situation as me. Go out with your friends, stay busy and see where this leads up. Good luck to you!
Author Star4223 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 I decided today not to text him anymore its just to hard for me to keep thing going on. Last night he text me and said that he has had it with money problems and that he can't handle the pressure. I was worried and text him later and asked him if he was ok and tryed to say some inspitational stuff, He said he was ok and that was about it. I do have the temptation to text him this morning to see how he is, but my gut tells me no. I just don't want to be a hendrance to anyone and to just be around like his mother. It just hurts to feel like you are important to someone and then come to realize that they don't value you as much as thought you did. It also hurts for someone to say they miss you and that you don't realize just how much they care about you and then have them to this to you. I feel like he is making me feel like I need to coddle him and lift his spirits just to SMASH ME!!!
Author Star4223 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 ok so I did not text him, but of course he text me first thing this morning saying "Good Morning Baby, I hope you have a Great Day" Its Crazy!!
flitzanu Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 ok so I did not text him, but of course he text me first thing this morning saying "Good Morning Baby, I hope you have a Great Day" Its Crazy!! and hopefully you didn't reply.
Samilia Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I have been dating a men for a little over three months. Although we have only been dating for that long we were friends in High School. We connected and have had a really great time. He is very loving and romantic. He always opens doors for me, opens the car door and shuts it for me, takes me to nice resturants or we might just sit at his house and watch a movie and he will buy me a bottle of my favorite wine. This man texts me EVERY morning "Good Morning Baby. I hope you have a great day" just something very sweet. He will text me throught the day with nice messages. He has a few problems that I was not aware of until I really got attached to him. He is having some financial problems and I have told him that its not necessary for him to take me to restaurants that I am happy with us just spending time together. He also has a problem with E D and I understand that being a man that is VERY hard, but I told him we could work threw that together and he seemed ok with that. Last week he blinded sided me when he told me that need a couple of weeks to himself to figure things out. I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said no he just needs some time ti himself and that he still wanted to communicate with me and that he wouldn't get through this without me. It has been a little over a week and he has been in communication, not as much as normal but he is definitey in touch. I just don't know what to do, we are not seeing each other at all and I just miss his face so much and told him so today. He said that he missed me too. If he misses me then why this separation? How long should I wait for him? What steps shpuld I take at this point? I just need some advice on this i have been out of the dating scene for a while and this is the first man I have really liked in a long time. I just feel heart broken.... Thanks People for Any Advice I wouldn't wait for him, at all. Break or break up, same thing. Just give him his "break" since he's asking for it.
Author Star4223 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 I just wished I didnt open myself up to this CRAP!! Last email I received from him was last night saying Good Night Dear. Oh WHATEVER, Do you actually think I am having a goof night with what you are putting me through. I didnt respond and havent heard from him as of yet today. I am not gonna deny that it is VERY hard not to call or text him when I miss him, because we became so close. He or I will never know if he truely misses me until I am no longer there. Sometimes you leave good for better and when you realize you left best, best has found something better!!!! In the past couple of days when I want to talk to him, I think, look at all his problems, its not like he's gonna get any better than you and its not like he's having sex cause with his problem he caNT. i KNOW IT SOUNDS FUNNY, BUT i GIVE MYSELF A PEP TALK, LOL. I cannot deny I miss him, but I really want to keep my dignity through all of this.
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