Milton15 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I started seeing a guy 3 months ago, from the offset he told me he was separated, had been for nearly a year and would shortly be starting divorce proceedings. Financially things are done and dusted and they have no kids. He told me they were still friends and met up every now and then for drinks, all perfectly amicable. Things have been great, we see each other 2-3 times a week, we are in touch every day, he has met my friends and we have been away together. I have met one of his oldest friends but none of his 'local friends' he says his parents know about me. However, I have found out that he actually sees her more than I thought, they seem to be in text contact every week and are still part of a group that do sports together, he hasn't told me this. A few times when we have been together she has text (I see the name on the phone) and he then discreetly leaves the room, he took the phone to the loo with him the other day after she text! In all other ways he is attentive and open but I am beginning to think that he isn't really over her and I could end up getting very hurt. I don't believe she knows about me, we aren't Facebook friends for example but I know he is still Facebook friends with her. How do I talk to him about this without coming across as jealous, I don't mind amicable but there is such a thing as too close, or should I get out now?
Casablanca Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I started seeing a guy 3 months ago, from the offset he told me he was separated, had been for nearly a year and would shortly be starting divorce proceedings. Financially things are done and dusted and they have no kids. He told me they were still friends and met up every now and then for drinks, all perfectly amicable. Things have been great, we see each other 2-3 times a week, we are in touch every day, he has met my friends and we have been away together. I have met one of his oldest friends but none of his 'local friends' he says his parents know about me. However, I have found out that he actually sees her more than I thought, they seem to be in text contact every week and are still part of a group that do sports together, he hasn't told me this. A few times when we have been together she has text (I see the name on the phone) and he then discreetly leaves the room, he took the phone to the loo with him the other day after she text! In all other ways he is attentive and open but I am beginning to think that he isn't really over her and I could end up getting very hurt. I don't believe she knows about me, we aren't Facebook friends for example but I know he is still Facebook friends with her. How do I talk to him about this without coming across as jealous, I don't mind amicable but there is such a thing as too close, or should I get out now? He may have kept the amount of contact on the downlow as he didnt want to possibly scare you off. They are about to get a divorce finalized, so they probably do need to contact each other a decent amount. Are you guys exclusive? Have you all talked at all about that? The girl I'm talking told me that she liked me but didn't want to be a rebound, and I reassured her she wasn't as I can be happy single and don't just date to not be lonely. So I guess you could just bring it up. I'd bring it up more so about him and his feelings. I wouldn't talk about how you know he talks to her more than he realizes. Just ask him if he truly thinks he is ready for a relationship.
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Nope nope nope. I can tell you right now that as soon as my Ex and I separated, we NEVER got together other than to take care of paperwork, and we definitely did not regularly text or talk to each other. For one... WHY haven't they filed yet? If everything is figured out financially then there should be no reason why they haven't even filed. You have to wait at least 6 months until a divorce is finalized after filing... all of the information makes me want to call BS. RUN. To begin with, the odds of it working anyways are slim, because you ARE a rebound. As much as he may say anyways that is usually how it works when you go through divorce. Then the fact that he is so close with his ex wife? No no no. Not ok.
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