Author singlelife Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 So offering a differing view is touchy now? I thought this was a place to state opinions. Say what you want. All I said is people take it personal. I don't understand why.
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I disagree that it plays a role in "catch" or "no catch", because it plays no role in your character, or how much chemistry you can have with someone. Depending on the reason yes it can. If they are doing it out of pure laziness then it does say something about their character and for me being lazy does not make someone a catch. 1
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Say what you want. All I said is people take it personal. I don't understand why. Because you addressed them personally. Anyone who is "middle aged and living at home" is going to take it personal. Don't make threads like these if you can't handle the feedback. There was a thread a few months ago in the abuse section titled something like "why are hispanic men abusive?", some of the posters were citing it was just in their blood to be jealous and abusive. I'm a hispanic man. I'm far from abusive. I'm supposed to see a thread like that and just keep moving? If you're going to talk about a specific group of people (in this case, people who live at home), expect them to come in and comment.
JDP25 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I am about to be a 25 year old and I know it limits you, if you're still living with your parents. I didn't have an option due to my financials being all unstable. I spent four years in the military. Now I am out trying to sort things wit my financials. Being in the military you don't make enough money. Spending and debt can take a turn for the worse, if you don't play smart. That is my situation. Even me in my 20's, I encounter woman that won't date me because of the fact I still live with my folks. I do have plans to move out once I can get a good amount saved up to back me up. A lot of a woman/girls because of how bad the economy is. They want to grow up fast and I mean they want to find the guy that has everything all ready. I know its hard times out there right this day and age. Sometimes to become stronger and to learn you must fall and sacrifice. 3
Author singlelife Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Depending on the reason yes it can. If they are doing it out of pure laziness then it does say something about their character and for me being lazy does not make someone a catch. right. good answer.
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I am about to be a 25 year old and I know it limits you, if you're still living with your parents. I didn't have an option due to my financials being all unstable. I spent four years in the military. Now I am out trying to sort things wit my financials. Being in the military you don't make enough money. Spending and debt can take a turn for the worse, if you don't play smart. That is my situation. Even me in my 20's, I encounter woman that won't date me because of the fact I still live with my folks. I do have plans to move out once I can get a good amount saved up to back me up. A lot of a woman/girls because of how bad the economy is. They want to grow up fast and I mean they want to find the guy that has everything all ready. I know its hard times out there right this day and age. Sometimes to become stronger and to learn you must fall and sacrifice. Well God Bless you and thank you for your service. 1
Samilia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I am about to be a 25 year old and I know it limits you, if you're still living with your parents. I didn't have an option due to my financials being all unstable. I spent four years in the military. Now I am out trying to sort things wit my financials. Being in the military you don't make enough money. Spending and debt can take a turn for the worse, if you don't play smart. That is my situation. Even me in my 20's, I encounter woman that won't date me because of the fact I still live with my folks. I do have plans to move out once I can get a good amount saved up to back me up. A lot of a woman/girls because of how bad the economy is. They want to grow up fast and I mean they want to find the guy that has everything all ready. I know its hard times out there right this day and age. Sometimes to become stronger and to learn you must fall and sacrifice. If I was 10 years younger, I'd date you, you could come over to my place 1
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Depending on the reason yes it can. If they are doing it out of pure laziness then it does say something about their character and for me being lazy does not make someone a catch. But you can be lazy and live alone. Like I said, there are a multitude of reasons why someone lives at home. If someone is lazy, yes, they may live at home, but I've met people who live alone who aren't motivated/lazy and immature. Again, it's the stigma attached to living at home, and not the reality of living at home. I've dated women in their 30s because they said I was more mature than some men their age. I'm sure most, if not all the men their age had their own place. People are gonna be who they are, regardless where they live. 1
Author singlelife Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 But you can be lazy and live alone. Like I said, there are a multitude of reasons why someone lives at home. If someone is lazy, yes, they may live at home, but I've met people who live alone who aren't motivated/lazy and immature. Again, it's the stigma attached to living at home, and not the reality of living at home. I've dated women in their 30s because they said I was more mature than some men their age. I'm sure most, if not all the men their age had their own place. People are gonna be who they are, regardless where they live. Why are you so defensive? Sorry it's normal to live on your own and pay your own bills and if you don't you better have a really god reason. It deserves to be looked at as lazy.
Samilia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Why are you so defensive? Sorry it's normal to live on your own and pay your own bills and if you don't you better have a really god reason. It deserves to be looked at as lazy. Well if you live with roommates, parents, better half, etc.. you're expected to contribute to the "life of the house", rent, bills, etc.. Nobody said they should leech off their parents. I had a bf who lived with me for a bit, he wouldn't split the bills, would only pay what extra it'd cost me to have him in my house. Not sure if it's lazy, but it's definitely cheap. I sent him back to his mom where he now pays rent hehe 1
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Why are you so defensive? Sorry it's normal to live on your own and pay your own bills and if you don't you better have a really god reason. It deserves to be looked at as lazy. First off all, pretty much everyone my age who posted in here lives at home, and I'm not even in the age group you're referring to in your op, but I'm tired of that whole stigma of this thing. Your character is not measured by where you live. Why am I at home? Because I'm buried with student loans and a lot of business aren't looking to hire kids still in college, unless it's an unpaid internship. Certainly not jobs that pay enough to live alone. And I refuse to do the roomate thing because I'm by most accounts, a loner, and I've seen enough horror stories from my friends who have done it to know it's not for me. So I'm saving up until I can get my own place, and not have to depend on a group of other people to pay for the rent. I'm far from lazy, and I'm a hell of a catch, as made evidence by my dating success. Believe it or not, I'm not in the basement playing dungeons and dragons.
Samilia Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 First off all, pretty much everyone my age who posted in here lives at home, and I'm not even in the age group you're referring to in your op, but I'm tired of that whole stigma of this thing. Your character is not measured by where you live. Why am I at home? Because I'm buried with student loans and a lot of business aren't looking to hire kids still in college, unless it's an unpaid internship. Certainly not jobs that pay enough to live alone. And I refuse to do the roomate thing because I'm by most accounts, a loner, and I've seen enough horror stories from my friends who have done it to know it's not for me. So I'm saving up until I can get my own place, and not have to depend on a group of other people to pay for the rent. I'm far from lazy, and I'm a hell of a catch, as made evidence by my dating success. Believe it or not, I'm not in the basement playing dungeons and dragons. Wait, you don't enjoy 2am screaming music and loud roommates? That's a bummer.. 1
Pyro Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 But you can be lazy and live alone. Like I said, there are a multitude of reasons why someone lives at home. If someone is lazy, yes, they may live at home, but I've met people who live alone who aren't motivated/lazy and immature. Again, it's the stigma attached to living at home, and not the reality of living at home. I've dated women in their 30s because they said I was more mature than some men their age. I'm sure most, if not all the men their age had their own place. People are gonna be who they are, regardless where they live. My response was referring to those who this thread is talking about and those are the people who still live at home with their parents solely because they are lazy.
MrCastle Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 Wait, you don't enjoy 2am screaming music and loud roommates? That's a bummer.. I don't. Things I also don't like -arguments that lead to awkward moments -going home with leftover pizza on my mind and opening the fridge to see someone else has eaten it -someone losing their job and not being able to pay their share of rent and figuring out how I can still live there
ja123 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 If I had to live with my parents to take care of them, then I'd do my best to build a small apartment attached to the house so that I could maintain as much independence as possible. That means freedom to date, etc. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I live at home. In fact I share a (really small) room with my brother. I would never ever consider myself a good catch. My living arrangements are a big part of that, but not the only part.
Author singlelife Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 If I had to live with my parents to take care of them, then I'd do my best to build a small apartment attached to the house so that I could maintain as much independence as possible. That means freedom to date, etc. That would be a good plan and a go getting attitude. Not like a lot of lsers.
Author singlelife Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Because you addressed them personally. Anyone who is "middle aged and living at home" is going to take it personal. Don't make threads like these if you can't handle the feedback. There was a thread a few months ago in the abuse section titled something like "why are hispanic men abusive?", some of the posters were citing it was just in their blood to be jealous and abusive. I'm a hispanic man. I'm far from abusive. I'm supposed to see a thread like that and just keep moving? If you're going to talk about a specific group of people (in this case, people who live at home), expect them to come in and comment. This is funny.
Malia25 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 My parents live with me and I refuse to let others see it the other way around. I pay all the bills and do my own thing. I haven't taken a dime from my parents in years and refuse to do so. Granted, I do rent a home and pretty much forced my parents to come with, as the neighborhood they were living in was no longer safe. I am in the works of purchasing a home for my parents by the time I hit 30. Lofty goals, I know. lol. The way I see it, as an asian female, this is quite normal. There is a sense of familial "responsibility" that you have for your parents. You think about them before yourself, but I don't know - maybe that's just me. I know I'm not middle aged, but I don't think this living situation makes me less of a catch. If being financially independent and financially giving (towards parents) makes one a bad catch, well...darn. At least I have the money to do so? LOL. With that said, I can understand how my living situation is unattractive or undesirable to those I've dated. Absolutely. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't understand my culture (in a sense). In fact, if I find out the guy I'm dating has some kind of financial or responsible role for his parents, I would find that attractive. It shows his character and heart. This is only true in the sense that he pays his own bills, contributes toward mortgage/rent and has his own life. But honestly, I would prefer the guy I'm dating to have his own place...as it would make things a bit more "fun" in the long run. But it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. I think culture plays a huge role, making this thread very broad. 1
Author singlelife Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 My parents live with me and I refuse to let others see it the other way around. I pay all the bills and do my own thing. I haven't taken a dime from my parents in years and refuse to do so. Granted, I do rent a home and pretty much forced my parents to come with, as the neighborhood they were living in was no longer safe. I am in the works of purchasing a home for my parents by the time I hit 30. Lofty goals, I know. lol. The way I see it, as an asian female, this is quite normal. There is a sense of familial "responsibility" that you have for your parents. You think about them before yourself, but I don't know - maybe that's just me. I know I'm not middle aged, but I don't think this living situation makes me less of a catch. If being financially independent and financially giving (towards parents) makes one a bad catch, well...darn. At least I have the money to do so? LOL. With that said, I can understand how my living situation is unattractive or undesirable to those I've dated. Absolutely. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to date someone who doesn't understand my culture (in a sense). In fact, if I find out the guy I'm dating has some kind of financial or responsible role for his parents, I would find that attractive. It shows his character and heart. This is only true in the sense that he pays his own bills, contributes toward mortgage/rent and has his own life. But honestly, I would prefer the guy I'm dating to have his own place...as it would make things a bit more "fun" in the long run. But it wouldn't be a dealbreaker. I think culture plays a huge role, making this thread very broad. If you take care of them...awesome! If you're a mooch...you're a child.
TheZebra Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I don't. Things I also don't like -arguments that lead to awkward moments -going home with leftover pizza on my mind and opening the fridge to see someone else has eaten it -someone losing their job and not being able to pay their share of rent and figuring out how I can still live there One of my roommates in college stole my shoes. Talk about awkward moment, amirite? 1
SpiralOut Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I could not date someone who still lives at home with his parents. That's mostly due to my own issues with my parents. The very idea of still living at home just makes my skin crawl. I understand that situations are different for different people and I respect anyone who takes care of their family. But I just don't think I could deal with it, personally.
suladas Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 It would depend, but it would be a downside no matter the reason. Unless they were in school, or out of school and building the money to move out it would be very unlikely. If they were broke and working a dead end job, it's a dealbreaker. The economy is good here so it's not a reason. I'm too young for the looking after parents deal, but that could be a dealbreaker for me unless it was temporary. I want to live with someone down the road and build a life, not someone and their parents. My parents could live with me if they needed, but I wouldn't want it permanant i'd get them in a home or something. It does usually come with maturity, you can tell in a lot of my friends who lives at home and who doesn't, the ones who live at home funny enough are usually the ones who have no money to (none pay rent either) and still in crappy dead end jobs. Then again, a few move out with roommates and end up back at home because they are broke and that is just foolish to. It's pathetic by mid 20's to still be at home, mommy does your laundry, all your cooking, cleaning your room, etc, etc. No way would I date someone like that. I was doing all that stuff myself at 10 years old.... I moved out and bought my own house at 21 so there is no reason for someone else not to be able to do the same by mid 20's.
Jane2011 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I wouldn't care if a guy (of any age) lived with his parents, as long as he was pretty independent, had his own transportation, money, job, etc., and just did his own thing. In other words, if it's almost like a roommate situation with his mom, dad, or both, it really wouldn't bother me. 1
Sugarkane Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 This really pisses me off to be frank. Then why do they make it extremely expensive to live on campus for? Why don't the government actually create more jobs since ours are all going over seas? Gee that might actually help!
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