HitMeNow Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I ll give an example. Met a girl a long long while ago. There was a bit of chemistry between the two of us. I just never pursued it. Invited her to a few parties. We tease each other a lot. Lately, when she came to a party we ended up making out in my room. After that I invited her, after a week or two, she said she was busy, so I kept inviting her once in two weeks and after a month I saw her again. We ended up having a really good time / got naked / almost had sex, but I didn't wanna push it as I knew she wasn't comfy with it. After a week week I told her to come grab a beer on the weekend. She said she was working, but she ll text me when she's free. Another week passed and I have a few free hrs so I tell her to come by in an hr if she's free. She says it's too last minute, so I tell her next thursday I'm going out with friends, she should come. Am i over-reaching? EDIT: Also these girls know I am not the lovey dovey bf kind of guy, meaning I am seeing other people.
sweetkiwi Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I don't know. She could be giving you the brush off. Whenever I like a guy I drop plans to see him. You should ask her out on an actual date and see how she responds.
carhill Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 IME, the more successful the person, with 'busy' being an often common part of that success, the more focused on and critical of their time investments they become. They also appear to be very efficient with time and easily 'fit in' activities and people who are a priority to them. Otherwise, those people and activities are ignored, sometimes socially lubricated with 'busy'. When a woman tells me she's 'busy' and doesn't follow that up with 'I'd be happy to do xxx on xxx' that is the same as 'no, I'm not interested'. So far, 100% success rate. 1
Author HitMeNow Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Interesting. My question comes, because sometimes I feel like they go into preservation-mode, since I am viewed as "kind-of" a player, so my thought process is that if I show more interest without being clingy then we should make progress. Sometimes, it has worked and with most girls I have used this I have remained in touch with, which I think is a good thing for my social life. I just really wanna make lots of friends and if there's a spark with one of them then its ok. If not then I still love my friends : )
KathyM Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 As Gregnoz said, if she had enough of an interest in you, she'd make the time to see you. Although if you have a reputation of being a guy who just dates around and is not into relationships, just casual things, she's probably not going to want to waste her time on you if she is looking for an actual relationship.
somedude81 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Seems like you should have had sex with her when you had the chance.
Author HitMeNow Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Seems like you should have had sex with her when you had the chance. I was trying to not make her feel uncomfy and show that I cared... as a friend. Not that I do more than that really. LOL
somedude81 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I was trying to not make her feel uncomfy and show that I cared... as a friend. Not that I do more than that really. LOL As a friend when you guys are already naked? Either way, it seems like that was your only chance.
Author HitMeNow Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 As a friend when you guys are already naked? Either way, it seems like that was your only chance. Honestly I dont care much about ****ing. I am just trying to maintain valuable people in my life 1
somedude81 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Honestly I dont care much about ****ing. I am just trying to maintain valuable people in my life That's certainly a different way of looking at things than from what I'm used to. It sounds like a great mentality.
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 She is brushing you off, probably because of the status of your relationship, which is friendship. Not that it is bad, I just know I brush off my guy friends if they try to make plans and I don't think much about it because well... they are just friends.
Author HitMeNow Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 What i have learned is that female "friends" can vanish away in a matter of seconds and are more problem than worth over all. Only male friends is enough. In all honesty I have lots of female friends. A few I sleep with and most that I don't. The connections with them are amazing. Mutual care and affection. The only problem with male friends is that you can't connect on a physical level with them. In the society we live in cuddling with a guy would be gay.
Aedra Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 A woman that's interested in you will squeeze in time for you somewhere no matter what her schedule is. Some with a man, really. If she keeps making excuses after 3 attempts its a safe bet she is not interested.
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