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Is it wrong to want to leave a good spouse?


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Posted

Many people here do seem to think that a marriage, the sanctimony of a marriage, the institution of marriage, is the most important thing in the world.

The message these people convey is that almost no one should ever leave their spouse, unless there are some really extenuating circumstances. They seem to put forth the notion that there is nothing worth living once you leave your marriage. You will die a lonely death after leaving the only person who could ever love you and after alienating your kids.

 

I'm willing to be that this is all hogwash from people who are afraid of live, and who don't have the courage and self reliance to venture out and start anew.

 

I asked my wife for 20 years to work days so we could have evenings together and a normal life. I asked her twice in 18 months to do more things with me, like go to the gym.

 

I tried all the things I enjoyed with the OW, candles, oil, massage.

 

It's not like I have not tried, or I have not cared, or I just cut and run.

 

A friend said it best to me "It's not selfish to want to be happy".

 

The facts are-half of all marriages end in divorce. Half of all the men who do not divorce, cheat. Thirty percent of all the women who do not divorce, cheat. And thirty per cent of all marriages are "sexless", defined as ten or fewer times per year.

 

Obviously anyone can and will do whatever they want. Everyone will make their own decision(s).

 

I came here to vent and ask for advice, yes. I got it. I spent 18 months considering it all, and trying to make it work, and contemplating, and waiting for the right time, and figuring out the finances.

Posted
Many people here do seem to think that a marriage, the sanctimony of a marriage, the institution of marriage, is the most important thing in the world.

The message these people convey is that almost no one should ever leave their spouse, unless there are some really extenuating circumstances. They seem to put forth the notion that there is nothing worth living once you leave your marriage. You will die a lonely death after leaving the only person who could ever love you and after alienating your kids.

 

I'm willing to be that this is all hogwash from people who are afraid of live, and who don't have the courage and self reliance to venture out and start anew.

 

I asked my wife for 20 years to work days so we could have evenings together and a normal life. I asked her twice in 18 months to do more things with me, like go to the gym.

 

I tried all the things I enjoyed with the OW, candles, oil, massage.

 

It's not like I have not tried, or I have not cared, or I just cut and run.

 

A friend said it best to me "It's not selfish to want to be happy".

 

The facts are-half of all marriages end in divorce. Half of all the men who do not divorce, cheat. Thirty percent of all the women who do not divorce, cheat. And thirty per cent of all marriages are "sexless", defined as ten or fewer times per year.

 

Obviously anyone can and will do whatever they want. Everyone will make their own decision(s).

 

I came here to vent and ask for advice, yes. I got it. I spent 18 months considering it all, and trying to make it work, and contemplating, and waiting for the right time, and figuring out the finances.

 

where di you get your FACTS from?

here?

on the internet?

 

so illusionall

 

aM

Posted
Anyone who has followed along can see that far from slamming my W, it actually took me about 18 months to even discuss her shortcomings.

 

hers or yours?

 

aM

Posted (edited)

you are lucky i never noticed this thread from the start!!!

 

 

or maybe unlucky i would of been more understanding

 

 

aM

Edited by aMguilts
Posted
Many people here do seem to think that a marriage, the sanctimony of a marriage, the institution of marriage, is the most important thing in the world.

The message these people convey is that almost no one should ever leave their spouse, unless there are some really extenuating circumstances. They seem to put forth the notion that there is nothing worth living once you leave your marriage. You will die a lonely death after leaving the only person who could ever love you and after alienating your kids.

 

I'm willing to be that this is all hogwash from people who are afraid of live, and who don't have the courage and self reliance to venture out and start anew.

 

I asked my wife for 20 years to work days so we could have evenings together and a normal life. I asked her twice in 18 months to do more things with me, like go to the gym.

 

I tried all the things I enjoyed with the OW, candles, oil, massage.

 

It's not like I have not tried, or I have not cared, or I just cut and run.

 

A friend said it best to me "It's not selfish to want to be happy".

 

The facts are-half of all marriages end in divorce. Half of all the men who do not divorce, cheat. Thirty percent of all the women who do not divorce, cheat. And thirty per cent of all marriages are "sexless", defined as ten or fewer times per year.

 

Obviously anyone can and will do whatever they want. Everyone will make their own decision(s).

 

I came here to vent and ask for advice, yes. I got it. I spent 18 months considering it all, and trying to make it work, and contemplating, and waiting for the right time, and figuring out the finances.

 

#

 

your right and i`m sorry i judged you so soon :(

 

 

it is your right to be happy . just because your married to one another doesnt mean you have to stay misserable

 

i guess i get locked in my own world about what marriage shold be too

 

if your not happy, then yes

get out of it

 

aM

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