lalaandpo Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 (edited) My ex and I broke up like 5 months ago. In that time she acts hot and cold. Sometimes she flirts, sometimes it seems like she's completely done. A month ago I started with the No-Contact Rule, via a friend she heard 'I was over her'. On that day she was desperate looking for contact, and 'favorited' a tweet on twitter that said: "I love you too much, I can't take this situation with no love back". Although she broke up with me she is still stalking me on facebook and twitter, and 'till a couple of weeks ago her bureau was full of love quotes and my name. She also still sleeps with a doll I gave her. She told me she doesn't dare to be herself, and she is very insecure. She made a anonymous twitter account I only know where she is posting tweets like: "Say that you love me", "I wanna be happy again" and "If you were happy before you knew someone, you can be happy when they're gone." etc etc. Since a week we are getting close again, and she asked me if we could sing a duet. It's 'Just Hold Me' by Maria Mena. So I was wondering, is this normal? And could it be 'just as friends'. I don't think so, to be honest. And although everything in me says she wants me back, I don't know. She seems not chasing me, and said 'you ruined it' a few times before, so I'm afraid to get hurt again... Sorry for the bad English, and I hope you can help me Edited January 21, 2013 by lalaandpo
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Who broke up with who? Did you dump her, or did she break up with you? Be honest.
Author lalaandpo Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 She said her feelings were fading away... On the moment we broke up she said she still felt something for me, but she refused to get back together. I think I caused it, cause I was not really nice to her the last few weeks, and I told her I'm sorry, but it wouldn't help..
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 You need to go No Contact. More for her benefit than yours, I would add. See the signature link (Updated 2013 Guide). Why weren't you nice to her? What did you do, and why?
Author lalaandpo Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 I already did NC. Because there were a lot of problems at home. My both grandma's died, my father lost his job etc. I think I just threw it all on her..
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 If you'd already done No Contact, you would be completely unaware of any of her tweets, and messages. You have done some limited contact. to implement No Contact, you have to eliminate all and any possible way of her being able to keep track of you, and vice versa. That hasn't been done, it seems.
Author lalaandpo Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Like I said, I did no contact, but after a friend of mine said to her that I was over her she was desperate looking for contact. After that (3 weeks) we are getting close together, and now she is posting that kind of tweets.
Ajax Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 She sounds like the type of person who will chase you if you run, and push you away when you show interest. Is her name Kobiashi Maru? Because this is a no-win scenario. I'm not someone who advocates cutting everyone off you've ever dated for all eternity, but each situation is different, and sometimes it does call for that. I'm afraid this is one of those times.
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Like I said, I did no contact, but after a friend of mine said to her that I was over her she was desperate looking for contact. After that (3 weeks) we are getting close together, and now she is posting that kind of tweets. Well, you shouldn't have responded. She didn't break No Contact. You did. Now you realise how dumb that was - don't you? As Ajax says, some situations may warrant some form of resumed dialogue. But these are damn rare. This isn't one of them....
Author lalaandpo Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Is there a chance that we will be back together?
TaraMaiden Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Suuure! There's always a chance. I wouldn't bet on it though. because even if you suggest it to her, and even if she agrees, you both have to work intently on what broke it in the first place. Is that what you want? To get back together? have you asked her what she wants? She's a lot of talk and signals right now, but has she actually said to you - "I want us to get back together and work at this..." ??
Ajax Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Is there a chance that we will be back together? Maybe. But why would you want to? Is this a woman... err... girl, who is someone you can depend upon? Is she someone you can trust? Does the good she brings to your life outweigh the bad? I think the answer to all of those questions is a resounding no. So the question you should be asking yourself isn't whether or not you might still get back together, it's "should" you get back together with her? 1
Samilia Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 My ex and I broke up like 5 months ago. In that time she acts hot and cold. Sometimes she flirts, sometimes it seems like she's completely done. A month ago I started with the No-Contact Rule, via a friend she heard 'I was over her'. On that day she was desperate looking for contact, and 'favorited' a tweet on twitter that said: "I love you too much, I can't take this situation with no love back". Although she broke up with me she is still stalking me on facebook and twitter, and 'till a couple of weeks ago her bureau was full of love quotes and my name. She also still sleeps with a doll I gave her. She told me she doesn't dare to be herself, and she is very insecure. She made a anonymous twitter account I only know where she is posting tweets like: "Say that you love me", "I wanna be happy again" and "If you were happy before you knew someone, you can be happy when they're gone." etc etc. Since a week we are getting close again, and she asked me if we could sing a duet. It's 'Just Hold Me' by Maria Mena. So I was wondering, is this normal? And could it be 'just as friends'. I don't think so, to be honest. And although everything in me says she wants me back, I don't know. She seems not chasing me, and said 'you ruined it' a few times before, so I'm afraid to get hurt again... Sorry for the bad English, and I hope you can help me Overall I get the feeling that she's a little girl (how old are you guys?) who lost her toy and wants it back. Sounds like a lot of drama. My idea on it is that she'll be back in your life, and out of it just as fast.
Author lalaandpo Posted January 23, 2013 Author Posted January 23, 2013 We're getting really close again. It's not really flirty, but neither really 'friendzone like'. Can I get this close with her? Or is it important to constantly take distance?
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