th90 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Thanks for all those ****ing lies. Thanks for telling me you loved me the night you were sleeping with someone else. Thanks for taking 7 years of my life away. Thanks for being so heartless. Thanks for nothing. You probably miss that bitch you knew for less than a year who is hours away living in another time zone more than anything. I swear you wouldnt even think if i'm okay. You have no idea how much i've been tricking myself to be okay. You have no ****ing idea what i have to tell myself everyday just to be happy again. You? Partying away? Mixing with people out of your league? Trying to be one of them? Someone youre not even close to? Good luck ****tard. Btw i hope you grow some balls to tell the next girl when you cheat on her. Coward. Ps : i finally unfriended him on fb. Should have done it on day one. This is the kinda rant that ive been suppressing myself from actually saying out of compassion that i have for him. Now just **** that. **** everything. 1
FailedFirstLove Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Sometimes you just have to make that mistake so it pushes you todo what was needed, in this case was to UNFRIEND him. I would have blocked him all together. I made the same mistake a checked their fb. It's not a good feeling seeing the photos and partying and happiness and freedom all over their page. It's heart breaking. While I'm here in hell trying to cope day by day. His out partying an meeting people. Stupid thing is. I can't stop caring. Caring how he is. What his doing. How his coping.
itsmyfault Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 You found out he cheated on you??!?!?! Honestly, FB is ALL show. This is how I see it and I have friends who agree. When I was with my Ex, we never posted about how happy we were, because we knew we were happy, It didn't matter if anyone else knew. I heard from a friend with her new BF she posts about it all the time, he said it's almost like she is seeking others approval, almost forcing others to believe she is happy. I don't care whether she is happy with him or not, The point i'm making is that people who are truely happy don't go telling everybody. 1
Author th90 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Stupid thing is. I can't stop caring. Caring how he is. What his doing. How his coping. Ya, cos we are dumb like that. You found out he cheated on you??!?!?! Honestly, FB is ALL show. This is how I see it and I have friends who agree. When I was with my Ex, we never posted about how happy we were, because we knew we were happy, It didn't matter if anyone else knew. I heard from a friend with her new BF she posts about it all the time, he said it's almost like she is seeking others approval, almost forcing others to believe she is happy. I don't care whether she is happy with him or not, The point i'm making is that people who are truely happy don't go telling everybody. He cheated alright. He didnt have the balls to admit. He told me he slept with someone before we broke up and didnt let me to ask anything. My only option was to take it or we could break up. I was angry just now because he is having fun. I dont think i even mean anything to him anymore. And he was talking to this bitch i totally hate. He once told me how much he missed her because that girl went back to her country. I gain back my composure now. I just feel so cheated by everything he's said to me. They were nothing but sugarcoated lies. He told me just weeks before he broke up with me that his goal in life is to make me happy. What breaks my heart more is to know we were nothing after so many years.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I'm so sorry your so hurt. I wouldn't know how bad it feels. I'm barely coping with a normal breakup. Well normal or I haven't figured his cheating yet. I REALLY don't understand why people cheat??????? WHYY the fff is it so hard to love and stick to ONE PERSON. I never understood that. I would NEVER cheat. Even if I lost some feelings I could not. I have a heart so does the other person. I couldn't do that to someone. Not that selfish.
Author th90 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 I wouldnt either. Ive been put in some situations where i was so close to cheating on my ex. But i didnt. I could imagine how hurt he would be if i did. I'd never do or risk anything that'll hurt him. When we were together i was always portrayed to be the one who would cheat bcs i'm more attractive and there were guys going after me despite knowing that i was taken. In the end, i never did him wrong. As for him being the one who always said his principle is never to cheat, is the one who did. I guess actions speak louder than words?
cavalier99 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 bcs i'm more attractive Hmmm I always though you might be hot. I must have some weird 6th sense relating to this. Umm.. onto the issues at hand. Meh sorry your pissed. Its weird how we need to sorta lie to ourselves to be normal and feel good. Eventually this becomes reality. This isn't major setback. In fact if might let you process some of the emotions you've been repressing. I do it also. Act all great. Tell myself I'm over it etcetera. Then i sorta crack..whether it be anger or a poor me i miss her cry/day. The point is after this happens i seem to always be furthers along. Just another step in healing. Hang in there Dr. Hottie! BLOCK HIM
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 (edited) Damn ... Th90... You go girl! And also block him. Also to add: He's a tiny dick, no balls, cheating loser of a bastard! Edited January 21, 2013 by Toddbt12y1
Love Bites Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I saw my ex's twitter. It sucks that she's doing fine without me and putting that person on a pedestal like I was never there for her, like I never existed. She never did that for me. She was always private about her relationships. What a crappy morning, but i'll get through it as usual.
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 You will go through the emotions friend. Trust me it's very hard for a while. Eventually you will feel somewhat then much better. Some ppl aren't worth it... 1
Love Bites Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 It has been four months. I was doing so well. I actually thought I was moving forward.
itsmyfault Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Like I said, your ex is probably doing the same. Posting on twitter, almost like she is trying to convince herself the new guy is better. Looking for others approval. It's petty stuff to boost their ego. Another example of me and my ex. When it was xmas and I stayed with her family, She ALWAYS wanted to open her presents just me and her, no other family members around. every time she opened my presents she always shed tears of happiness. Not ONCE did she post about it on Facebook. This xmas, her new BF got her "pre-Xmas" present, she told the world and its neighbours. He is the best ever OMG! extra presents -.- I once asked her why she never wrote about us on Facebook (every couple i knew did write about each other) she replied "I don't want to share our relationship with hundreds of other people, it's just me and you" I don't know if anyone agrees with my theory but I think it makes sense haha. True happiness comes from within, Not from the approval of the masses 1
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Everyone heals at their own pace. Some take years. It has been a year and two months...I'm still healing. Though I am much better. That and I am crazy LOL. 1
Love Bites Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 And when I saw her on instagram, she had alot of pictures of her and her new lover on there and when I looked at her new lover's instagram, she had not one picture of my ex on there, just her and her friends. She does have a big ego and too much pride. She cut me out of her life after saying she will always be there for me. Everything happened so fast. This was my first gay relationship, I really did love her. I'm going back to men.
imtooconfused Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 th90... Even though you broke the rule of NC and checked his FB, it's a good thing that you lashed out here amongst your acquaintances rather than at him directly. He does not deserve to even know that you are angry at him. Stay strong and maintain NC.
na49 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Block him and promise you will never check his facebook again for your own sanity. Seeing him living his life without you will hurt like hell, so why torture yourself?
candie13 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Knowing is better than not knowing! At least, he is not on a pedestal and you realize he didn't treat you well. Mourn as long as you need to, then move on. I believe the hardest part, when a relationship is over, is to let go. Especially after so long. And especially if it was good. I don't think your ex would have stayed with you for 7 years if there were no feelings. Sure, the end sucked and he cheated, but there are no more perfect people, out there. Accept his faults, accept your faults and start living for today, instead of looking at the past. It will be very difficult to make peace with yourself and close this chapter if you keep all the anger in. There's a whole roller coaster of emotions, after 7 years and there is no miracle pill to prepare you for the single life. Certainly not other men, also this might sound like a very good idea, at some point. The best advice I never got was to be patient with myself, instead of rushing. Rushing to get better, rushing to get over my ex, rushing to meet someone better, rushing to make up for the 7 years I've lost. Remember that you are very vulnerable, even if you seem ok Be warned, the dating scene can be a lot of fun, but it is also ruthless, these days - I've been out of a 7 years relationship, it's been 2 years since I'm single and still don't really have the hang of it. best of luck!
flitzanu Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Thanks for all those ****ing lies. Thanks for telling me you loved me the night you were sleeping with someone else. Thanks for taking 7 years of my life away. Thanks for being so heartless. Thanks for nothing. You probably miss that bitch you knew for less than a year who is hours away living in another time zone more than anything. I swear you wouldnt even think if i'm okay. You have no idea how much i've been tricking myself to be okay. You have no ****ing idea what i have to tell myself everyday just to be happy again. You? Partying away? Mixing with people out of your league? Trying to be one of them? Someone youre not even close to? Good luck ****tard. Btw i hope you grow some balls to tell the next girl when you cheat on her. Coward. Ps : i finally unfriended him on fb. Should have done it on day one. This is the kinda rant that ive been suppressing myself from actually saying out of compassion that i have for him. Now just **** that. **** everything. someone should sticky this as the exact reason we tell people to block their exes and to quit stalking their page.
TrueAwareness Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I hear you. I was 7 years with this woman that i truly worked hard to be better for. And she just decided one day that she was done waiting for me to be good enough for her. While se never hear any demands or conditions from me to be by my side. She is a nice looking woman, but a complete slob, with no goals and very little maturity in many ways but i still wanted to fight for her and work things out. She had a bad upbringing with a father that had a second family on the side and treated her mom like a maid more than a wife. Some of us become rescuers because it is in our nature to rescue people. But there are others who dont really have much fight in them. Their only fight is with feeling completely taken care of, but they hardly ever feel the need to fight hard when their demans stop being met. Sadly you cant really tell which kind of person you have by your side until they already do this to you. She did warn me in the beggining by saying "i destroy everyone i love" but i guess the rescuer in me thought it could make things different.
Author th90 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 Thank you everyone for the responses! I feel so overwhelmed. There's really no one to listen to me anymore regarding my ex. My friends and family assume that I've gotten over it because I always appear cheerful and happy in front of them. I guess I reached a plateau for weeks before I broke down again yesterday. I was running away from all the negative emotions as far as I could but obviously there'd be a point where I'd fall. I've been trying to be as happy as I could. I've never been more optimistic in my life all so that I wouldn't cry again. I thought I've let go as much as possible. Then I got struck with all the sweet memories again. The memories from years ago as far back as in 2005 just hit me. They were so vivid like everything just happened yesterday. I'll admit it's not a major setback though. Just brought my spirits down a little but that's all. I do feel that I grow stronger each time after breaking down. I've bottled up the emotions for weeks and it just burst. I feel so much better now. It's after all, his loss.
rys Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 i hope fb would come up with a series of security questions before we can check our ex's fb: like- "are you sure you want to view this account?" "are you drunk?" "FB has an 'unfriend' or 'block' options, have you tried that?" "you have 400 friends here, would you like to check their walls first?" 4
Author th90 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 i hope fb would come up with a series of security questions before we can check our ex's fb: like- "are you sure you want to view this account?" "are you drunk?" "FB has an 'unfriend' or 'block' options, have you tried that?" "you have 400 friends here, would you like to check their walls first?" That's a good one! However I'll still check on my ex if I was determined to do so. It's just beyond our control sometimes even being one of the dumpees who adheres to NC strictly.
rys Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 That's a good one! However I'll still check on my ex if I was determined to do so. It's just beyond our countrol sometimes even being one of the dumpees who adheres to NC strictly. I can relate to this. It's like detoxifying- get a few doses until i get it out my system completely (at least for me). 1
Author th90 Posted January 22, 2013 Author Posted January 22, 2013 I can relate to this. It's like detoxifying- get a few doses until i get it out my system completely (at least for me). Exactly! Then repeat the same mistake again and again (for me) lol
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