Does sleeping with a girl while away count as cheating when only seeing each other

[Lady1992]

Hi all,

Really need help on this on. I've been seeing a guy for a while now who I have known my whole life. It's not serious serious but we are very close, like best friends ( friends with benefits thing ATM). Anyway he's been talking about getting together but nothing has come of it yet, he is currently in Thailand and send me a message yesterday saying that he's not going to lie to me and that he has slept with a Thai girl out there.

I can't help but feel sad and jealous about it even tho were not together. What do you think ? Am I being stupid and just need to talk it through when he gets home ?

Appreciate your help

Thank you

[Ami1uwant]

If you were just FWB and you didnt establish a relationship or exclusivity then he didnt cheat. Its not his fault.

 

If you want something more then maybe you need to talk to him about this.

[Lady1992]

Yeah that's what I think, it's very confusing

Thank you for replying

[ascendotum]

In the circumstances you outlined, imo, he did not cheat. I really don't know why he bothered to confess it. You are just an FWB (and long term friend) and you and he are free to play or seek out a long term bf/gf with others in your own time. A number of people will try to have FWB agreements where they limit the other party to not sleeping with anyone else. Sometimes both parties will actually keep the promise, but I bet many times one or either doesn't. In circumstances such as this I would still not consider it cheating. Breach of agreement & trust...yes.

[Lady1992]

Think he confessed to me because we are on the borderline of becoming a couple, and doesn't wont to lie to me. But I do agree with you now that it's not cheating thank you

[Bristolius]

Hi all,

Really need help on this on. I've been seeing a guy for a while now who I have known my whole life. It's not serious serious but we are very close, like best friends ( friends with benefits thing ATM). Anyway he's been talking about getting together but nothing has come of it yet, he is currently in Thailand and send me a message yesterday saying that he's not going to lie to me and that he has slept with a Thai girl out there.

I can't help but feel sad and jealous about it even tho were not together. What do you think ? Am I being stupid and just need to talk it through when he gets home ?

Appreciate your help

Thank you

 

This is a terrible thing

[Ninjainpajamas]

That should be a sign to you that this is strictly a FWB and is not progressing forward...if there were any confusion previously.

 

You're getting close and obviously attached, but at the end of the day I don't think what you want or opinion will matter much because he's not interested in a relationship with you. I think he told you because he knows how you feel and he feels guilty and/or it's a reminder of where he stands in this situation.

 

You think you're seeing him and getting somewhere, but If he wanted a relationship with you he would've already had one with you, after all he's known you for years right? but you're not thinking you're just feeling. He likely just sees you more as a friend than a romantic interest.

[AMusing]

This is a terrible thing

 

I think assuming "girl" means "child" in this post is jumping to conclusions. People here refer to 35+ year old women as "girls." (I'm going to believe this is the case... otherwise... )

 

No, because you weren't in an exclusive relationship, he didn't technically cheat on you. But that doesn't mean what he did wasn't ****ty. If you two really were moving towards a real relationship, him sleeping with another woman is very inconsiderate. Being in another country doesn't somehow make it ok. I give him major kudos for telling you, though, so you can move forward with all the facts.

 

Anyway, it's pretty clear you want more than he does. A guy who was really into you wouldn't have behaved the way he did. Ask yourself if you're ok with that. Also, if you decide to keep up the FWB thing, be super DUPER safe for a few months, then have him to get (STD) tested.

[Lady1992]

Sorry by girl it's not what you think she was in her 30's

[rocketman122]

I dont think its cheating but I think it was wrong of him to do it. morals play a part here. I dont think he did though. I think he's bluffing since I think its a tactic to make you jealous.

 

I would first tell him to do blood tests before I slept with him. too many diseases there.

 

If I was the guy in your situation I would not have done it if I myself brought up the exclusive talk with you. it just makes things worse. it makes things awkward and slows things down from moving in the direction I want.

 

dumb azz immature boy cant control his snake. maybe he had a lady boy bust a nut in him;)

[HitMeNow]

He s away and you guys are not a couple. Not cheating.

He probably told you because

- He cares about you.

- Subconsciously wants to see your reaction.

 

I disagree that this isnt going to go forward. Most likely he is just wondering why you haven't had the talk with him, so he found comfort on some random Thai girl and he took it.

[veggirl]

He didn't cheat but he's definitely not ALL that into you if he slept with someone else while allegedly trying to move things forward with you.

[HitMeNow]

He didn't cheat but he's definitely not ALL that into you if he slept with someone else while allegedly trying to move things forward with you.

 

I disagree. Guys can sleep with many many girls. And to his mind it makes him more desirable, which should progress things with you.