Manwithquestion Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 So I am in a position where I do not know what to do. I dated a girl for around 4-5 months, things were going really well I was having a great time and I felt like she was too. Then out of nowhere we had an argument just before christmas and things fell apart. Long story short we both are in very challenging careers that make us move around a lot (I am in Medical School heading somewhere she was accepted to Law School but not sure where she was going to go). Because there was "uncertainty" on where either of us were going to be in the coming year, she wanted time to think if she wanted to get serious. I wasn't in the position to be really serious, but I was really enjoying what we had going on. She broke it off and went home for the next 1.5 months. We did not stay in contact much at all except for a few texts here and there. Now she is back and through another source I know she decided to accept the offer in our current city which means we will be in the same place for the next 1.5 years. My real question is was this just a front to break things off? After a relatively short time dating is it worth it to contact her to see if we could get things going again? Part of me really wants to give her a call and part of me thinks that she would have reached out to me if it was only because she didn't know where she was going to head to school this summer. Any help would be appreciated.
Lady1992 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Sounds like you both enjoyed yourselves when you were spending time together. You shouldn't let an argument destroy what you had, Contact her again and talk about it... life is too short to miss out on a chance. There's no harm in trying
Author Manwithquestion Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Thanks for the reply, maybe I should clarify a bit. It wasn't so much of an argument, I knew she was applying to school and having gone through that myself I know it is a stressful time but I felt like I was the only one putting in effort. I told her she needed to start putting in effort, for example I was the only one setting up times to have dates, get together ect. I was getting kind of tired of it cause I have a busy schedule and didn't feel like I was getting fair treatment. When we were together it was great, but when we were apart it was like she didn't care to get together. When I brought it up she just said that because she didn't know where she would be in 6 months she didn't want to get involved. I really want to try and give it another try but after over a month of no contact I feel like she just doesn't care at all I hate to keep putting myself out there if I am not going to get anything in return.
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 22, 2013 Posted January 22, 2013 I'll be blunt. For 4-5 months you planned, initiated, and put effort into creating a relationship. Her contribution, if I interpret your posts correctly, was to show up and have a fun time...when it suited her and was convenient. Now professional school, as you well know, is far more hectic than the application process itself. Please stop excusing her bad behavior, specifically her lack of consideration or reciprocation! That's not a valid excuse, and you know it. She broke up with you. She's back in town and hasn't bothered to reach out in a month. That's your answer! At this point, she's not interested in you, either as a boyfriend or as her social secretary. I wouldn't bother to go groveling for more shoddy treatment. I think you're worth much better. Don't you? Next time, please make sure there's some flicker of interest in you, not just in your organizational skills as an entertainment planner. Not that she has to match everything you do tit for tat. I'm fairly passive myself. But at least call occasionally. Bake you cookies. Get you your favorite whatever. Throw you a bone of some kind. Just do something...anything. You'll feel a lot better about yourself when you're with someone who shows some interest in you. Good luck!
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