HaveFaithxx Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I can't take this anymore! It's been 2 months since the breakup, I've recoverd a lot - no more sleepless nights, no more panic attacks, I'm going out with friends again, and actually got two dates this week. One is a pro tennis trainer that was watching me during my tennis lessson and asked if I'd like to play with him this week, and another with a super cute guy I met at a bar last on the weekend. Things are looking good. But, I still think of my ex every freaking waking moment. He is with me everywhere I go, whatever I am doing. I have been through some really terrible breakups, one where the guy just disappeared with no explanation, a few who have cheated on me, and some in relationships that deep down I knew they weren't the one I could spend the rest of my life with. I take break ups really hard, but when someone hurts me like that it is easy for me to get over them. No more than 2 months. But with my most recent ex, we were only together for a year so we were still in the total infactuation stage. He was absolutely perfect, treated me like a princess. We had two very small arguements. He didn't break up with me in a bad way, so I can't be angry at him for that. The thing is I went through this when I was 19, I had a long distance relationship with a Dutch guy for 6 months and it was like a fairytale, but then it had to end as he went off to go travelling to Australia for a year. We had no contact at all when he left (this was pre internet cafe and facebook) and it took me 2 years to stop thinking about him I think because the relationship was so "perfect" nothing could compare to it and nobody could compare to him. It took 2 years until I would stop comparing everyone to him. This scares me to death. It's not that I think I won't get over this most recent ex, or that I can't be happy again. I just don't want to think of him anymore; it's making me nuts. On top of that, I still have to see him at uni a few times a week (night classes). Why does he seeem to look even more gorgeous everytime I see him?! :S How do I get him off this pedestal?!?!
stevie_23 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Ok. So how come you broke up with your ex? I need to know this before I can say much else. There are always reasons for a breakup, and it’d be easy for me to say, well, the relationship couldn’t have been that “perfect” or it’d still be continuing, right? But sometimes relationships can’t survive based on other factors that are external to the two people involved. That may have happened here. Though ALSO, I am slightly inclined to believe that if those two people truly love each other THAT much, they will find a way to stay together. It is very hard to get an ex off a pedestal. Mine was definitely on a pedestal. But he left me in a really cruel way, so…he kind of fell off a bit there. Though while we were together, he treated me pretty much perfectly.
Ariella1984 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 (edited) Good for you on your progress - a breakup is still fresh at 2 months, so it is normal to be hung up still. I know it feels like you will never get over this (I feel this way too) but you will. Look how far you have come already I know exactly what you mean. I've been through breakups with people that I have been with for much longer and was much more invested in, yet this 5 month relationship ending feels like no pain I've ever felt before. I'm not sure of the entire story, but you mentioned it wasn't a bad breakup. Do you think this fact makes it harder to move on because it makes it a challenge to think of him in a bad light, thus keeping him on that "pedestal"? I think with me, the reason he ended it is so confusing. It's hard for me to understand and process. That is what is making it a challenge to move on. Does that ring a bell for you? Edited January 21, 2013 by Ariella1984
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