th90 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 At the beginning of the BU, I had dreams about my ex a couple of times where he would BU, hurt and rejected me. I dreamed about him having threesomes with 2 prostitutes once. I even woke up from the dream out of heartache. Those dreams were a huge setback and made me feel horrible for days. Now, 2 months 16 days post BU, I'm so much happier being by myself and able to look at the BU from the most positive point of view, my dreams about my ex have shifted from him being as cold as he could be to as gentle and nice towards me. Wtf? And these nice dreams about him are getting so frequent it's disturbing as I've never dreamt of anyone this often. I don't even know how I should feel about him now. Am I supposed to feel good about these nice dreams or I'm supposed to be sad it's just a dream?
stevie_23 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Well, I don't think you're "supposed" to feel anything. Just however you feel is right for you. (that doesn't help much though, does it? lol) I actually never had any bad dreams about my ex, even right after the BU. I had good, loving dreams after about a week and they continued for about 2-3 weeks, every few nights I'd wake up feeling nice and warm. Loved. And there wasn't the horrible sudden realisation that it wasn't real either, for some reason. It felt nice and I neither welcomed nor felt disturbed by the dreams. They just...happened. And it was fine. I haven't dreamt of him for a few weeks now, and that's ok too. At first, obviously you were very hurt and upset by the BU and your dreams reflected this in terms of his behaviour and your feelings in the dreams. Now, with a bit of time, your dreams are becoming more like maybe how you felt with him when you were together. That's understandable. Hopefully, if you can move on, eventually you can appreciate the good times and remember them fondly, without focusing so much on the end or bad times. Why do you feel disturbed that these dreams are so frequent and nice? Is it because you ARE so sad that they're only dreams now and no longer your reality? Are you scared to realise you might be healing (in terms of your subconscious mind letting go of the hurt and anger) because that means you're letting go of him?
Shim_kattty Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 For some reason after my BU my ex just about begged me to be his friend. I did to keep the peace & we were very close. Big mistake. He turned into the worlds biggest donkey & was unjustifiably cocky & arrogant. Disrespectful in every part of the word & rude. I was afraid to even be around him. Some time in September about a month & a half after B/U I had a dream that he beat me outside of a pizza restaurant. He has never been the aggressive type & I never thought that he could ever be as rude as he was, but that scared me. I believe I was becoming afraid of him. I told him about the dream & he was angry that I could even think that of him. Eventually though he changed his ways & some of his circumstances changed so he needed me as far as getting to work & school. Eventually my dreams began to change where I was married to someone else & that he was married to someone but having an affair & getting kicked out & needing somewhere to live & calling me. Funny how you can subconsciously alter situations of the present into mini movie like scenarios based on the way you interpret what's going on in your life.
Author th90 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Why do you feel disturbed that these dreams are so frequent and nice? Is it because you ARE so sad that they're only dreams now and no longer your reality? Are you scared to realise you might be healing (in terms of your subconscious mind letting go of the hurt and anger) because that means you're letting go of him? These dreams make me think of him even more. I dont feel very sad anymore. In fact for the past few weeks i've been the happiest since the BU. only today i broke down after checking on my ex that i started another thread about. I'm not scared of letting him go. Thats what i've been trying to do everyday. I keep reminding myself it's over and that i have to let go. I just feel disturbed as the dreams are getting so frequent and nicer everytime. It doesnt feel right and of course when i wake up with the realisation tht they are only dreams i do feel a little upset.
Author th90 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 For some reason after my BU my ex just about begged me to be his friend. I did to keep the peace & we were very close. Big mistake. He turned into the worlds biggest donkey & was unjustifiably cocky & arrogant. Disrespectful in every part of the word & rude. I was afraid to even be around him. Some time in September about a month & a half after B/U I had a dream that he beat me outside of a pizza restaurant. He has never been the aggressive type & I never thought that he could ever be as rude as he was, but that scared me. I believe I was becoming afraid of him. I told him about the dream & he was angry that I could even think that of him. Eventually though he changed his ways & some of his circumstances changed so he needed me as far as getting to work & school. Eventually my dreams began to change where I was married to someone else & that he was married to someone but having an affair & getting kicked out & needing somewhere to live & calling me. Funny how you can subconsciously alter situations of the present into mini movie like scenarios based on the way you interpret what's going on in your life. I hope your life isnt as dramatic as your dreams. Haha
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