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Had 2 dates, but still getting weird signals


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Posted

Rather than explain how we met, and our dates and all of that I'll get right to the question. We've been on 2 dates, I'm 24 she's 21. She is a bisexual, her last relationship was with a girl. She's admittedly not good at conversations, so she rarely ever texts me. She mentioned on the 2nd date, that next Saturday, she was going to be spending the day with her ex. Watching movies and eating british food. Now, they are broken up, but that sounds an awful lot like a date to me.

 

 

I was free today, I texted her today at noon, to see what she was doing. She was busy, and was meeting a friend to do a project, I didn't ask what friend.

 

So, what should I take from this? the 2 dates have gone excellent, and I appreciate her telling me about next Saturday, but I just get a weird vibe.

Posted

I don't care if she is a bisexual.

 

 

I have a personal rule regarding ex's. If they are close with their ex, to the point where they spend "quality alone time", then I don't want anything to do with them. :laugh:

Posted

Female or male - the ex is still an EX!

 

Would you have a weirder vibe if she was hanging out with her male ex?

 

It isn't like she shares kids with her ex , or a business or any real obligation.

 

Get away now.

  • Author
Posted

Well, this is what she told me. They broke up because neither of them wanted to be the " Guy " in the relationship. Her ex works at the same place she works. Her ex and her current roommate are best friends as well, so the ex apparently is over her place all of the time. So, I assume they're still pretty close. The girl I'm dating DID say she told her ex about us, and I figured that's a good sign, but yes they still are doing the all day movie marathon on Saturday.

Posted
Well, this is what she told me. They broke up because neither of them wanted to be the " Guy " in the relationship. Her ex works at the same place she works. Her ex and her current roommate are best friends as well, so the ex apparently is over her place all of the time. So, I assume they're still pretty close. The girl I'm dating DID say she told her ex about us, and I figured that's a good sign, but yes they still are doing the all day movie marathon on Saturday.

 

Totally get it... STILL wouldn't be ok with me.

  • Author
Posted

I'm not exactly OK with it either. But what can I say? " Hey, you've known me for 2 weeks, I don't want you hanging out with your former ex and still good friend " I don't want to be controlling or possessive, especially when we're not even officially together or whatever.

 

But yes, it does bother me, they have a history, and from what I gather, a ton of things in common that I can't relate to. I think I'm gonna pull back a bit, if she wants to see me again, she'll let me know. At the end of the day, I can't control who she likes.

 

Haven't heard from her since noon. I won't text her again if/until I hear something from her first.

Posted
I'm not exactly OK with it either. But what can I say? " Hey, you've known me for 2 weeks, I don't want you hanging out with your former ex and still good friend " I don't want to be controlling or possessive, especially when we're not even officially together or whatever.

 

But yes, it does bother me, they have a history, and from what I gather, a ton of things in common that I can't relate to. I think I'm gonna pull back a bit, if she wants to see me again, she'll let me know. At the end of the day, I can't control who she likes.

 

Haven't heard from her since noon. I won't text her again if/until I hear something from her first.

 

You can say

"Hey, I like you, but your relationship with your ex makes me very uncomfortable. If that is something that is going to be a regular thing, then maybe we should stop seeing each other."

  • Author
Posted

Good suggestion ;) I'm pretty sure it's going to be a regular thing. If not for nothing else, the fact the roommate and the ex are best buds. That alone automatically puts them in the same vicinity. Her last male relationship was 3 years ago, so I've been really careful on how I've been towards her. Don't me wrong, I'm a nice guy, but I've been a rrreeaaallyyyy nice guy.

 

I've always believed actions speak louder than words. We shall see the way she acts. And as far as next Saturday, I may try and get a date with someone else, not to be petty, but for something to do.

  • Author
Posted

Well, here is an update. She texted me tonight, and said she didn't feel a spark or a connection after we kissed. She also said my hugs felt awkward. This was said right after I asked about Saturday with her ex sounding alot like a date. She said due to their work schedules, they don't see each other often, so when they do they make it special.

 

I never understood sparks to be honest. But it's out of my hands. My take is, she still had lingering feelings for her ex, because she never really gave me a fair shot. She also stated I picked a bad time in here life to ever introduce myself to her, and that she isn't used to bringing in " outside " people into her group.

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