Lue Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I have an odd question for a 33 year old woman who's been dating for 20 years to ask. What is an appropriate level of interest for a man to show to a woman to indicate he is interested in her. I have a bad history with men, I invariably choose men who are manipulative or want to take advantage of me. And I realize that I do this because I seek external validation and I'd like to stop doing that. But I choose these guys because these are the guys who show interest in me. However, it occurred to me today that perhaps other healthy men DO show interest in me but because I've only been with guys who had their own agenda I don't know what a healthy level of interest is
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 It will vary depending on the guy's personality, level of extroversion, genuine interest in you, etc. If the issue is selecting manipulative guys, think about what makes a guy manipulative. Look for those characteristics. Also were there red flags that you ignored? Could you do a better job of not discounting these when they popped up? How about your needs in the relationship? Any insights there? Etc. Focusing on level of interest will send you down the wrong foxholes, much as using the eyecolor of the guys you've previously dated would. It's a red herring.
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