SeekingHappiness Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for four months- Five as of February 1st (if it lasts that long, which I'm starting to doubt). Everything was going perfectly until around New Years. Long story short, I haven't seen him in 3 weeks. We argued about this, and I made my feelings known. Pretty much just asked him if he cares about me so much, why hasn't he been making more of an effort? He was sick for a week, and I understand that... don't even hold it against him, but what about all of the other times? He didn't have much to say. Now, we haven't even spoken on the phone since Tuesday night... He told me that he would call me the next day after work, and never did. Okay then, well I figured that maybe he was tired or something. For the record, I am NOT one of those clingy, demanding girlfriends - I understand the need for "alone" time, and I don't have an issue if he wants to go out with his friends. But this is getting ridiculous. I've tried calling him a few times, and texted asking if he was okay, but no response. It's been five days, and he's made no move to contact me at all. We usually talk on the phone at least two or three times a day, so you can understand why this kind of behaviour concerns me. Last night is when I really started getting angry/upset. The phone rang once (it was him), but only rang the one time before it stopped. Being curious, I called him back, only to hear another girls voice in the background before he HUNG UP ON ME. Is it possible that he's cheating/found someone else and is just too much of a coward to tell me the truth? I sent him a text after the fact saying "Okay, I'm done playing games. You should at least have enough respect for me to be able to tell me what's going on." Still no response to that either, and I haven't tried contacting him at all today. I'm furious, upset, and confused all at the same time. There's no reason for him to be treating me like this... I've done nothing wrong, and if he's found someone else or wants to be single, then you would think that he would at least have the decency to be honest with me. I do still care about him, but this is not the kind of relationship I want to be in - ESPECIALLY if he's cheating, which I'm strongly starting to suspect. What should I do? Wait for him to contact me in order to figure out what's what, or do I simply let it go and try to move on? I'm at a loss...
Author SeekingHappiness Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 That's what I'm afraid of.... But what I don't understand is WHY. I think that I would feel a little bit better if he would just stop playing cowardly, and give me at least a phone call so we could talk about it. That's not too much to ask for, right?
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 That's what I'm afraid of.... But what I don't understand is WHY. I think that I would feel a little bit better if he would just stop playing cowardly, and give me at least a phone call so we could talk about it. That's not too much to ask for, right? No, you are absolutely right. You deserve a phone call at least... he is being an ass.
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 He's dumped you. Yes, he has, but he's just taken the coward's way out and is hoping you'll figure this out for yourself. Look at this, for instance. He rings you. Rings off immediately. You call back immediately. Now - he's going to know - FOR SURE - that it's you, calling back. So instead of answering and speaking to you - he lets you listen to what's going on at his end. A female voice, that's what's going on. "Get it now?" he's thinking? Then he hangs up. And of course, he leaves you wondering. And I get that. I get you feel confused. Hang on, come over here, and read your post from my side.... See? Told you.... Now, what would YOU advise seekingHappiness if you had no idea who she was, but needed advice? Exactly. Welcome to LoveShack. The No Contact Club eagerly awaits your membership. Apply by clicking onto the new updated 2013 NC Guide in my signature.
TaraMaiden Posted January 20, 2013 Posted January 20, 2013 That's what I'm afraid of.... But what I don't understand is WHY. I think that I would feel a little bit better if he would just stop playing cowardly, and give me at least a phone call so we could talk about it. That's not too much to ask for, right? Asking a coward to man up and do the right thing, is always 'too much to ask for'... particularly when they've already done the cowardly deed. he's hardly going to come back as Captain Courageous now he's made a prize dick of himself already.....
Author SeekingHappiness Posted January 20, 2013 Author Posted January 20, 2013 Prized dick, indeed. I just hate the fact that he made himself seem "better" to begin with. When we first started seeing each other (September 1st), he was worried about ME breaking HIS heart because of girlfriends that he's had in the past. And he's been cheated on before. I'm not that kind of a person, and told him so. I've never done anything for him to act like such an ass. But if this is the way he's treated previous girlfriends in the past, then it's no wonder his relationships don't work out. I've decided that I'm not going to call anymore either. I've tried my best to make this work, but I can't be the only one putting in an effort and pretty much being made a fool of. I'd still like to hear it from his mouth what's going on and get a straight answer once and for all, but that doesn't look like it's going to happen.
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 (edited) Why? He's obviously dumped you. Your opinion of his character is no longer relevant to him, hence his decidedly douche-bag behavior on the way out the door. I'm guessing your fury and pleading for explanations are a source of amusement for him at this point. Why else would he have you listen to another woman's voice in the background? Apparently ignoring you wasn't sufficient. He wanted to make you froth at the mouth with anger and jealousy. Why give him the satisfaction of letting him know it worked? Keep your dignity and show him instead how real adults behave. That will hurt far more than any demand of yours for closure and respect when he obviously plans to give you neither. As you said, the relationship was limping through its death throes anyway. It's now clearly dead. Bury the hatchet. He's not worth another second of your time or energy. Just ignore him and get on with your life. Look at your username! That should be your mantra...not pleading for respect from a laughably immature ex as he pushes all your buttons...right? Edited January 21, 2013 by Cutiepie1976
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 BTW, if you've never seen War of the Roses, rent it! That's where you guys were probably headed if you had stayed together. Thankfully, it's over now.
todreaminblue Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 He is behaving badly....the best response from you is no response and move on....I wish you the best....deb
candie13 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I've been there, it sucks. You need an evening with the girls, a few cocktails and a peak at the single's world. It won't change how you feel about this guy, but it will certainly boost your confidence .
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