Author ow9 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Haha right?! When I first joined LS and saw your and Promises pictures I thought, "Yikes. I'm not putting up my picture; I could never compete with them!" And I'll be honest with you. I liked him immediately. My interview felt more like a first date than an interview. But, I don't find him terribly attractive and he will be my boss, so that takes care of that. It's only been the past few weeks I've noticed a change. He calling me after work hours. Me finding out he was married. And his little "fyi" last night. I will admit it: in a sick, weird way, I was completely flattered. Offended, but flattered. I think you're right. Make it abundantly clear to him first that I'm not interested. Good God; to be the OW again?! Oh, I'd rather hang myself with waxed dental floss.
Lillyfree Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Haha right?! When I first joined LS and saw your and Promises pictures I thought, "Yikes. I'm not putting up my picture; I could never compete with them!" And I'll be honest with you. I liked him immediately. My interview felt more like a first date than an interview. But, I don't find him terribly attractive and he will be my boss, so that takes care of that. It's only been the past few weeks I've noticed a change. He calling me after work hours. Me finding out he was married. And his little "fyi" last night. I will admit it: in a sick, weird way, I was completely flattered. Offended, but flattered. I think you're right. Make it abundantly clear to him first that I'm not interested. Good God; to be the OW again?! Oh, I'd rather hang myself with waxed dental floss. pretty sure that's a young sean connery in pierre's avatar so no, not many can compete with that... to put my $.02 in here - i'm a hard-nosed, frigid b*tch in professional situations. even though there are always a lot of men around me (male-dominated industry) i have never had any of them even greet me in an appropriate way, let alone tell me that they got themselves off to the thoughts of me i know from 3rd/4th hand that there is a number of them that find me attractive. however, if that was said directly to me they would have bits missing. 1
Author ow9 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Not to mention he's wearing a pin striped suit. Priceless. Ok. So...I say no, but really mean yes. But I wouldn't have gotten the job if I was a b**** from the get-go. I mean, right? So when I get there I've got to turn on b****-mode? Why do I feel like this has become ridiculous. I mean, why can't I just work alongside MM and it not be an issue. It really is a freaking banner huh? Perhaps it's time to switch careers and become a librarian.
Lillyfree Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 But I wouldn't have gotten the job if I was a b**** from the get-go. I mean, right? So when I get there I've got to turn on b****-mode? . oh, please get rid of that attitude. you would get the job if you are the right person for the job, not because you're flirting with your possible boss. so you're putting yourself in a difficult situation before you've even started... i guess the reason why i developed the b*tch exterior is because i worked alongside men all my life, and it is a fairly responsible position. i couldn't afford to give anyone a reason to think that i got to where i am because i flirt with superiors. what would strike me as highly insulting is that not only was he highly inappropriate and unprofessional, but also hadn't even known you for a very long time and was quite ok with sharing that he touched himself in his special area. new boss or no new boss, any guy who did that is a complete tool. ACK! 2
2sunny Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 Haha right?! When I first joined LS and saw your and Promises pictures I thought, "Yikes. I'm not putting up my picture; I could never compete with them!" And I'll be honest with you. I liked him immediately. My interview felt more like a first date than an interview. But, I don't find him terribly attractive and he will be my boss, so that takes care of that. It's only been the past few weeks I've noticed a change. He calling me after work hours. Me finding out he was married. And his little "fyi" last night. I will admit it: in a sick, weird way, I was completely flattered. Offended, but flattered. I think you're right. Make it abundantly clear to him first that I'm not interested. Good God; to be the OW again?! Oh, I'd rather hang myself with waxed dental floss. The fact that you allowed the interview to feel like a first date - you gave him the green light that you were interested. Yes, it's a signal you send to MM. Business is business- you should always refer back to the business if/when a MM wants to attempt to cross the line...otherwise he gets the idea you're ok with his inappropriate meddling into your personal life. 1
Author ow9 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Yes. The thing is that in this day and age it should no longer be assumed that women got where they are because of how they look or by flirting or more... the problem is that many people still think that way. I wish I was more like you gals. But I'm struggling with it. Sigh...
jwi71 Posted January 21, 2013 Posted January 21, 2013 I wish I was more like you gals. But I'm struggling with it. Sigh... I think you are over-reacting. Perhaps in response to current events in your private life. It may be as simple as some men mistakenly believe that and friendly behaviors equates to romantic or sexual interest on the ladies part. And they react accordingly - namely respond in kind. I'm not seeing any inappropriate behavior on your part - being friendly, charming and outgoing is NOT a billboard for an A. It's simply being friendly, charming and outgoing. Nothing wrong with that. I think, if you behave like this normally and towards others on your new job, he'll figure it out on his own. If he doesn't, gently pull him aside and explain how much you like him as a friend and then gush about the hot new guy you were flirting with at the store. Ask his advice if it's ok for you to ask "hot new store guy" for a date. He'll get the message then.
Author ow9 Posted January 21, 2013 Author Posted January 21, 2013 Ah, precisely.* I don’t want to be a b****.* That’s not me.* I’m outgoing, I’m completely sarcastic in every aspect in life, and I never stop laughing.* I treated this new boss the exact same way I treat every other co-worker of mine, I just can actually stand this one. HA! I really never considered that I flirt, but this need for external validation might be it.* I saw another thread about low self-esteem perhaps being a contributor to cheating….but what about all of these women who don’t give anyone the time of day…what’s that about then? I really appreciate all of your input. I’ve got counseling tonight – and I am definitely bringing this up!
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